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Language: en

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This is the Technical Difficulties,
we’re playing Citation Needed.

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Joining me today: he reads books, y'know,
it’s Chris Joel.

3
00:00:07.720 --> 00:00:08.720
“Hello!”

4
00:00:09.800 --> 00:00:11.880
Everybody’s favourite Gary Brannan,
Gary Brannan.

5
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♫ I-i-if women like that like men like those,
then why don’t women like me? ♫

6
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Singing(!)

7
00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:21.730
And the bounciest man on the internet,
Matt Gray.

8
00:00:21.730 --> 00:00:22.730
Howdy, YouTube!

9
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- Oh!
- Satire.

10
00:00:22.730 --> 00:00:24.720
- Oh!
- Nice. Nice.

11
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In front of me I’ve got an article from Wikipedia
and these folks can’t see it.

12
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Every fact they get right is
a point and a ding

13
00:00:31.840 --> 00:00:34.350
and there's a special prize for particularly
good answers which is...

14
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And today we are talking about John Stonehouse.

15
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Did he live in a greenhouse?

16
00:00:44.390 --> 00:00:46.420
Completely against type.

17
00:00:47.589 --> 00:00:49.040
Now's when you ding, Tom(!)

18
00:00:50.040 --> 00:00:51.940
No. I can’t give you that.

19
00:00:51.950 --> 00:00:53.399
Am I close?

20
00:00:53.399 --> 00:00:54.399
No...

21
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In any way?

22
00:00:55.400 --> 00:00:56.399
No.

23
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Was he... a bricklayer?

24
00:00:58.460 --> 00:01:00.739
Stone House? No. No he wasn’t.

25
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He did go to work in a House, and there’s
a capital H in that.

26
00:01:04.040 --> 00:01:05.440
A House of something.

27
00:01:05.440 --> 00:01:06.440
Cards.

28
00:01:06.440 --> 00:01:07.440
Fun.

29
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Ill repute.

30
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I mean, you’re pretty close with
House of Cards.

31
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Parliament.

32
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Yes, have a point.

33
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- Oh!
- Yay.

34
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Born in Southampton, educated there and at
the London School of Economics.

35
00:01:16.870 --> 00:01:18.020
So was he not a politiciser?

36
00:01:18.020 --> 00:01:24.430
And then he went into politics, as the
Labour Cooperative Member of Parliament.

37
00:01:24.430 --> 00:01:26.940
So he owned some small supermarkets(?)

38
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Erm, sort of...

39
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Did you hear that? Clunk-clunk-clunk-clunk!

40
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“Archivist gear engaged.

41
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“Everybody else shut up, I know the answer.”

42
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I don’t! But you do still have
Cooperative Labour MPs.

43
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In what sense?

44
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They don’t sit at the back going,
“F*** no.

45
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“It’s bollocks, we’re not doing it.”.

46
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Pretty much.

47
00:01:48.700 --> 00:01:51.320
He worked very closely to the
Foreign Office.

48
00:01:51.320 --> 00:01:56.780
There was the Foreign Office, the Home Office,
the India Office and then another one.

49
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Commonwealth.

50
00:01:58.060 --> 00:01:58.900
Ooh, no…

51
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No, it’s pre-Commonwealth. Empire?

52
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Halfway between the two.

53
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Com-pire.

54
00:02:05.520 --> 00:02:06.930
Places We Stole Office.

55
00:02:06.930 --> 00:02:13.010
Yes, it’s the Colonial Office, so yes, I will
give you the point for that, absolutely right.

56
00:02:13.010 --> 00:02:17.510
Yes, he became Minister for State for Technology
and then took a role…

57
00:02:17.510 --> 00:02:20.800
Was he going around people’s houses trying
to sell cable?

58
00:02:22.780 --> 00:02:25.060
You never had that?

59
00:02:25.069 --> 00:02:26.889
Not from the Colonies Office, no!

60
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He moved on from there, this was...

61
00:02:29.159 --> 00:02:32.750
You said technology, I don't for...

62
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I know nothing about politics or other countries!
I've got to go somewhere.

63
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I’ve just realised that...

64
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Would you like some Colonial Cable?

65
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I’ve just realised, we’ve not actually
touched on telegraphs yet

66
00:02:42.959 --> 00:02:45.540
and we have to do that at least once or twice
a seas…

67
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Oh, f*** off!

68
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Yes, he became Minister for State for Technology,
but that meant he then transitioned into what?

69
00:02:54.470 --> 00:02:59.760
And this was in charge of telecommunications
as well as telegraphy, everything like that.

70
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- Post Office.
- Postmaster General.

71
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You’re both getting the point. He was the
Postmaster General of the United Kingdom.

72
00:03:05.080 --> 00:03:07.019
Hell of a title, that.

73
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Yes. He was also the last Postmaster General
of the United Kingdom.

74
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Oh God, what did he do?

75
00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:16.360
Nothing, they’ve just all been
really specific since.

76
00:03:16.360 --> 00:03:17.160
(Yes!)

77
00:03:17.160 --> 00:03:18.040
Sorry, Matt!

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00:03:18.040 --> 00:03:18.900
Specific...

340
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Oh…

80
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Anything that has General on the end
sounds great, anyway.

81
00:03:24.919 --> 00:03:27.650
He oversaw the jamming of something.

82
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A marmalade factory.

83
00:03:29.370 --> 00:03:33.859
There’s this sort-of jam war going on where
they just…

84
00:03:33.859 --> 00:03:35.739
He’s holding toast at the other end.

85
00:03:35.739 --> 00:03:38.450
That’s Wallace and Gromit, isn’t it, actually?

86
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We must stop this terrible conflict...

87
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to preserve life.

88
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Ohhh!

89
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Even the audience was
half-hearted on that one.

90
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Wouldn’t want people to end up marmalised.

91
00:03:54.020 --> 00:03:56.950
1970, he oversaw the jamming of something.

92
00:03:56.950 --> 00:03:57.950
’70?

93
00:03:57.950 --> 00:03:58.950
1970.

94
00:03:58.950 --> 00:04:00.840
- Is it pirate...
- Pirate radio!

95
00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:05.120
Yes. I’ll give you the point there,
specifically what, where’s it coming from?

96
00:04:05.139 --> 00:04:06.139
- Luxembourg?
- North Sea?

97
00:04:06.140 --> 00:04:10.720
You’re thinking Radio Luxembourg but no,
you’re absolutely right, it’s off in the North Sea.

98
00:04:10.720 --> 00:04:13.139
This was one of the Radio Carolines.

99
00:04:13.139 --> 00:04:14.380
- Oh!
- Was it?

100
00:04:14.380 --> 00:04:16.160
You see I didn’t say that because
I thought it was a leading question

101
00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:17.380
and it would be wrong.

102
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Yes, but this isn’t QI! You’re allowed
to go for that answer here.

103
00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:21.840
Awooga!

104
00:04:22.720 --> 00:04:27.640
So he jammed Radio Caroline and part of the
response to that

105
00:04:27.640 --> 00:04:29.880
was that Radio Caroline did what?

106
00:04:29.880 --> 00:04:30.900
Jammed them right back.

107
00:04:30.900 --> 00:04:34.190
No, that actually would be... not illegal,
but it certainly would be, I think,

108
00:04:34.190 --> 00:04:36.781
a declaration of war if you do that to a country.

109
00:04:36.781 --> 00:04:39.003
And when it comes to boats we’ve probably
got the bigger shooty ones in town.

110
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We might have slightly more.

111
00:04:41.580 --> 00:04:45.400
Because Caroline was on and off for a bit.
So was it off for a bit?

112
00:04:45.400 --> 00:04:48.200
It was, they tried to overcome the jamming,
obviously,

113
00:04:48.200 --> 00:04:50.780
what were they sending back over the airwaves?

114
00:04:50.780 --> 00:04:54.010
Swear words. Filthy streams of invective…

115
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They could have done, they were offshore.

116
00:04:55.770 --> 00:04:58.800
Don’t forget Radio Caroline wasn’t illegal,

117
00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:02.590
they just made it so that any British person
associating with it was breaking the law.

118
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“Vote for the other ones.”

119
00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:06.210
Yes, absolutely right, they went political

120
00:05:06.210 --> 00:05:10.180
and they started broadcasting pro-Conservative
propaganda back at them.

121
00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:13.670
Sorry! Pirate radio station broadcasting
pro-Conservative messages?

122
00:05:13.670 --> 00:05:15.360
Let that sink in for a minute.

123
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“Vote Tory!”

124
00:05:18.440 --> 00:05:20.780
Yeah, you wouldn’t get that
these days would you? Blimey.

125
00:05:20.780 --> 00:05:22.400
No, there’s no pirate radio stations!

126
00:05:22.400 --> 00:05:24.020
- There are.
- Oh, there are.

127
00:05:24.020 --> 00:05:27.960
I was going to say, presumably you have deal
with those, Matt.

128
00:05:27.960 --> 00:05:31.800
Yes, they interfere over the broadcasts that
we are trying to make at work.

129
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And then we report them to OFCOM and then
they find them

130
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and say no, you’re being naughty, please
don’t do that.

131
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When you said deal with them, that suggested
you somehow

132
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went round at night and dealt with them.

133
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With a baseball bat.

134
00:05:40.730 --> 00:05:44.780
Matt Gray does have a black ski-mask and an
awful lot of black turtlenecks.

135
00:05:44.780 --> 00:05:48.860
A van just comes out of the OFCOM offices
with you guys in.

136
00:05:48.860 --> 00:05:55.260
John Stonehouse, still in charge of post and
telecommunications in the 1970s, introduced what?

137
00:05:55.260 --> 00:05:56.840
It’s not stamps or anything because they’re
already there...

138
00:05:56.840 --> 00:05:57.580
Oh, it is.

139
00:05:57.580 --> 00:05:59.200
- Is it stamps?
- Second-class...!

140
00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:01.880
Is it second-class stamps?

141
00:06:01.880 --> 00:06:05.340
Absolutely right, first and second-class stamps.
These all seem…

142
00:06:05.340 --> 00:06:06.380
(You f***er!)

143
00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:14.520
...fairly normal. In 1970 he was setting up
various companies, having things on the side.

144
00:06:14.520 --> 00:06:18.770
By 1974 most of these were in financial trouble.

145
00:06:18.770 --> 00:06:20.180
What did he decide to do?

146
00:06:20.180 --> 00:06:22.740
Print himself a whole book of stamps
as legal tender

147
00:06:22.740 --> 00:06:26.060
and pay off his debts with
a massive box full of stamps.

148
00:06:26.060 --> 00:06:29.400
That would have been a better plan than the
one he actually had.

149
00:06:29.400 --> 00:06:35.240
Issue a single £150,000 stamp on the quiet
to a collector.

150
00:06:35.240 --> 00:06:37.440
Also a better plan than what he did.

151
00:06:37.440 --> 00:06:39.640
Jesus Christ! Rob a bank.

152
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With stamps.

153
00:06:40.600 --> 00:06:42.380
Hang on, did he invent selfie stamps,

154
00:06:42.390 --> 00:06:45.960
where you could send in a selfie and you’d
have your own stamp?

155
00:06:45.960 --> 00:06:49.220
He didn’t set up his pirate radio station
did he, playing pro-Tory propaganda?

156
00:06:49.220 --> 00:06:51.510
He’s in deep financial trouble here,

157
00:06:51.510 --> 00:06:54.840
he’s doing creative accounting so he’s
going to be going to jail.

158
00:06:54.840 --> 00:06:56.800
Did he disappear?

159
00:06:56.800 --> 00:06:59.400
Oh, a little bit more than that.

160
00:06:59.400 --> 00:07:00.400
Is he…?

161
00:07:00.400 --> 00:07:01.400
Did he fake his death?

162
00:07:01.400 --> 00:07:02.400
Yes, he did. He faked his…

163
00:07:02.400 --> 00:07:04.620
Is he one of these clothes on the beach guys
and disappears?

164
00:07:04.620 --> 00:07:08.660
Spot on. Exactly right, he faked his death,
November 1974,

165
00:07:08.660 --> 00:07:11.070
leaving a pile of clothes on a Miami beach.

166
00:07:11.070 --> 00:07:12.070
Whose clothes?

167
00:07:12.070 --> 00:07:13.600
His clothes.

168
00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:15.230
Where was he actually going?

169
00:07:15.230 --> 00:07:16.230
Cuba!

170
00:07:16.230 --> 00:07:17.230
Australia.

171
00:07:17.230 --> 00:07:18.230
That’s a long swim.

172
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You’re one better than me, I was going to
say a long walk

173
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which would have been quite stupid.

174
00:07:22.250 --> 00:07:24.760
Well, swimming it naked,
he’s going to get cold.

175
00:07:24.760 --> 00:07:27.380
He is. Maybe he slathered himself
in goose fat beforehand.

176
00:07:27.380 --> 00:07:29.360
And, hell, he’s going the wrong way round,
he should have gone from LA.

177
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:30.820
Yeah, the man’s a fool.

178
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Goose fat is what you use,
I’m right aren’t I?

179
00:07:34.820 --> 00:07:36.580
That’s what you use for cross-channel swimming.

180
00:07:36.580 --> 00:07:39.120
Yes, when you’re swimming from Miami to
Australia, that’s what you use.

181
00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:40.120
Goose fat, yes.

182
00:07:40.120 --> 00:07:42.300
Most people use their arms and legs.
Gary, goose fat.

183
00:07:42.300 --> 00:07:44.150
-“It’ll be fine!”
- Just bobs around...

184
00:07:44.150 --> 00:07:45.430
“Gary, there’s a breaker.”

185
00:07:45.430 --> 00:07:47.910
“It’s fine, the goose fat'll save me!”

186
00:07:47.910 --> 00:07:52.070
Ejecting it from behind,
like propulsive goose fat.

187
00:07:52.070 --> 00:07:54.350
Hey, a goose gives out a lot of fat, you know.

188
00:07:54.350 --> 00:07:57.680
He’s just leaving this greasy trail on the
ocean as he goes.

189
00:07:57.680 --> 00:08:00.480
“Gary Brannan’s greasy ocean trail.”

190
00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:01.480
Hell of a series.

191
00:08:01.480 --> 00:08:03.520
I once did a goose at Christmas
and it put out...

192
00:08:03.520 --> 00:08:06.870
A single goose-- now in all fairness I got
it from a budget supermarket

193
00:08:06.870 --> 00:08:10.070
so it may not have been the very best of geese,
let’s be honest.

194
00:08:10.070 --> 00:08:11.110
Budget supermarkets sell geese?

195
00:08:11.110 --> 00:08:12.110
For a tenner!

196
00:08:12.110 --> 00:08:14.700
Yes, they just get them from the local pond,
and you know…

197
00:08:14.700 --> 00:08:17.330
Ask no questions, tell no lies.
That’s the way I looked at it.

198
00:08:17.330 --> 00:08:21.040
But I did, and it pumped half a litre of fat.

199
00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:25.370
It didn’t even drip out, it literally just
leaked fat.

200
00:08:25.370 --> 00:08:27.720
You know those things when you get oil wells
and there’s a gusher…

201
00:08:27.720 --> 00:08:30.990
“Goose fat, we’re rich! Ah, I'm greasy...”

202
00:08:30.990 --> 00:08:35.470
“Quick take me to the Channel!
This is my only chance!”

203
00:08:35.470 --> 00:08:37.550
“White gold!”, he cried.

204
00:08:37.550 --> 00:08:41.460
Did it deep fry itself? Half a litre?

205
00:08:41.460 --> 00:08:43.620
It just... you put it on an angle to let it
all drain out

206
00:08:43.620 --> 00:08:44.620
and it just kept coming and coming and coming.

207
00:08:44.620 --> 00:08:49.430
It was a whole big mincemeat jar that big
was nearly full of goose fat.

208
00:08:49.430 --> 00:08:52.600
No man in the world can eat that much 
roast potatoes, is what I’ve found.

209
00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:54.100
Sorry, can I just point out:

210
00:08:54.100 --> 00:08:57.520
mincemeat jar full of goose fat, that’s
quite a northern thing to say…

211
00:08:58.140 --> 00:09:04.100
So yes, Stonehouse, meanwhile. 
Stonehouse was... I’m just trying to pull this back.

212
00:09:04.100 --> 00:09:06.340
It was in my fridge for months!

213
00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.140
I remember, you sent me a picture of it!

214
00:09:09.140 --> 00:09:11.790
You actually sound closer to
tears than laughter, Gary.

215
00:09:11.790 --> 00:09:16.010
Because, just after we’d had this massive
Christmas dinner where I’d done the goose.

216
00:09:16.010 --> 00:09:20.110
I got all this goose fat, the holy grail of
Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes...

217
00:09:20.110 --> 00:09:22.540
Went on a f***ing diet
and I never touched the stuff.

218
00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:26.280
AUDIENCE: Aww.

219
00:09:26.800 --> 00:09:28.300
And in this jar was…

220
00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.860
John Stonehouse…

221
00:09:31.860 --> 00:09:34.050
Seamless(!)

222
00:09:34.050 --> 00:09:36.060
John Stonehouse was en-route to Australia

223
00:09:36.060 --> 00:09:39.080
setting up a new life with
his mistress and secretary.

224
00:09:39.080 --> 00:09:40.080
Are they two separate people?

225
00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:43.960
Was he just being a real arse and taking his
mistress and his secretary?

226
00:09:43.960 --> 00:09:48.030
Well, who was his new identity?
Whose identity had he taken on?

227
00:09:48.030 --> 00:09:49.300
Did he nick a dead person's?

228
00:09:49.300 --> 00:09:52.870
Yes, he did. Deceased husband of a constituent.

229
00:09:52.870 --> 00:09:57.700
So he deposited cash at one bank, picked it
up at another and the teller was suspicious

230
00:09:57.700 --> 00:09:59.620
and reported him to local police.

231
00:09:59.620 --> 00:10:02.320
The police, when they interviewed him,

232
00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:04.200
asked him to drop his trousers. Why?

233
00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:05.200
Normal.

234
00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:07.630
Was the person he was pretending to be a eunuch?

235
00:10:07.630 --> 00:10:09.110
No, just his trousers, just his trousers.

236
00:10:09.110 --> 00:10:13.140
Well they’re looking for an identifying mark,
are they not? So tattoo or birthmark.

237
00:10:13.140 --> 00:10:16.820
Yes... neither. This is 1974.

238
00:10:16.820 --> 00:10:17.820
Lord Lucan!

239
00:10:17.820 --> 00:10:22.710
Yes. They suspected that he was Lord Lucan
who had very famously disappeared,

240
00:10:22.710 --> 00:10:26.310
there’s a whole separate story there.

241
00:10:26.310 --> 00:10:29.880
Someone suspiciously turning up
with an English accent in Australia,

242
00:10:29.880 --> 00:10:31.080
depositing large sums of money.

243
00:10:31.080 --> 00:10:33.410
Who is obviously on the run...

244
00:10:33.410 --> 00:10:36.260
Lord Lucan had a large scar down his leg.

245
00:10:36.260 --> 00:10:38.400
So the police were going,
well, drop your trousers,

246
00:10:38.400 --> 00:10:40.779
we want to see if you’re Lord Lucan.
He wasn't...

247
00:10:40.779 --> 00:10:42.770
Did he debag himself in aid of the…

248
00:10:42.770 --> 00:10:46.150
Because if he did, and he dropped his trousers
and there’s no scar,

249
00:10:46.150 --> 00:10:47.500
he should surely be let go.

250
00:10:47.500 --> 00:10:50.090
Yes, and then they’re not going to be suspicious
of him ever again.

251
00:10:50.090 --> 00:10:52.580
Yes, he was still arrested, they just knew
he wasn’t Lord Lucan.

252
00:10:52.580 --> 00:10:53.580
Oh.

253
00:10:53.580 --> 00:10:56.840
“We know you’re somebody but we don’t
know who.

254
00:10:56.840 --> 00:10:59.430
“Standard procedure, drop the trousers.”

255
00:10:59.430 --> 00:11:02.920
That was essentially... yeah, that would have
been 1974.

256
00:11:02.920 --> 00:11:07.770
“What do we do second?”
“I don’t know, it’s never failed.”

257
00:11:07.770 --> 00:11:09.780
“Every arse tells a story.”

258
00:11:12.940 --> 00:11:16.240
“All right, we’re going to need
to get your arse print here,

259
00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:20.000
“please just sit in this ink for a little
while, and then on this paper...”

260
00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:22.820
“Just reverse onto this paper.”

261
00:11:22.820 --> 00:11:25.440
“It’s thumbprint. Thumbprint!”

262
00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:29.930
He’s arrested, six months later he’s deported
to the UK.

263
00:11:29.930 --> 00:11:34.290
He’s remanded in Brixton prison. What has
he not done at any point during this?

264
00:11:34.290 --> 00:11:35.870
Pulled his trousers up.

265
00:11:35.870 --> 00:11:39.050
Walked really waddly all the way.

266
00:11:39.050 --> 00:11:41.140
“They haven’t said I could,” he said.

267
00:11:41.140 --> 00:11:42.380
Changed his name back?

268
00:11:42.380 --> 00:11:43.779
Bear in mind his job.

269
00:11:43.779 --> 00:11:45.580
As Postmaster General, ex…

270
00:11:45.580 --> 00:11:47.610
Sorry, what was that?

271
00:11:47.610 --> 00:11:48.860
Postmaster General, ex-Postmaster General.

272
00:11:48.860 --> 00:11:51.690
Was he still in the same job?
Had he not been sacked?

273
00:11:51.690 --> 00:11:53.310
- Yes.
- Oh, s***!

274
00:11:53.310 --> 00:11:55.120
He did not resign as an MP.

275
00:11:55.120 --> 00:11:56.120
Oh, boy!

276
00:11:56.120 --> 00:11:59.040
So did he come back to massive fines for not
having done his job properly?

277
00:11:59.040 --> 00:12:02.120
- No, he was an MP.
- You don’t get fined for not doing your job.

278
00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:08.240
He just kept being an MP and getting his salary.

279
00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:11.080
Were they still paying him throughout the
entire time he buggered off?

280
00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:13.120
Well, at this point,
he had to have his trousers down

281
00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:15.220
because of the sheer size of his balls.

282
00:12:16.560 --> 00:12:22.300
He was put on trial on 21 charges of fraud,
theft, forgery, conspiracy to defraud,

283
00:12:22.300 --> 00:12:24.810
causing a false police investigation
and wasting police time.

284
00:12:24.810 --> 00:12:27.470
He sounds right for an MP.

285
00:12:27.470 --> 00:12:30.600
Trial was 68 days long.
He conducted his own defence.

286
00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:31.600
That’s brave.

287
00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:33.240
Yeah, it didn’t work all that well.

288
00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:36.230
Did he just drop his trousers when he could?

289
00:12:36.230 --> 00:12:39.170
And say repeatedly, “not Lord Lucan” because
it worked the first time.

290
00:12:39.170 --> 00:12:42.060
After his release he worked as a fundraiser,

291
00:12:42.060 --> 00:12:44.710
joined what became the Liberal Democrats,

292
00:12:44.710 --> 00:12:49.670
wrote some novels, started a small business
that sold hotel safes.

293
00:12:49.670 --> 00:12:50.980
I'm speeding through all this…

294
00:12:50.980 --> 00:12:52.240
- Hotel safes?
- Hotel safes.

295
00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:54.450
Because he’s used to embezzling money…

296
00:12:54.450 --> 00:12:59.140
They had a funnel that went directly to his
bank account.

297
00:12:59.140 --> 00:13:01.690
“Put money in my safe!” “No, f*** you!”

298
00:13:01.690 --> 00:13:05.010
- “You put money in your safe!”
- “Invest in my company…”

299
00:13:05.010 --> 00:13:06.710
It hasn’t got a back on it!

300
00:13:06.710 --> 00:13:11.200
More than 20 years after his death,
something was revealed about him.

301
00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:13.870
He was Lord Lucan?

302
00:13:13.870 --> 00:13:14.870
He just had a lot of bio-oil.

303
00:13:14.870 --> 00:13:17.210
I thought he was going for the button to say
yes then!

304
00:13:17.210 --> 00:13:21.320
No, no, way, way back in his political career,

305
00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:25.140
he’d negotiated an
agreement of technological cooperation

306
00:13:25.140 --> 00:13:27.390
between Britain and Czechoslovakia, as was.

307
00:13:27.390 --> 00:13:29.710
Uh oh. Is he a spy?

308
00:13:29.710 --> 00:13:33.000
Oh, he's sp-- in fact--

309
00:13:34.860 --> 00:13:39.760
The minute you say 'information sharing' and
'Czechoslovakia' which is in the former Soviet bloc,

310
00:13:39.760 --> 00:13:43.400
he’s not going to just be going and eating
their fine pastries, is he?

311
00:13:43.400 --> 00:13:45.610
Yes, it turned out that he’d been an agent

312
00:13:45.610 --> 00:13:48.960
for the Czechoslovak Socialist Republic
military intelligence.

313
00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:50.830
S***, he’s Postmaster General!

341
00:13:50.830 --> 00:13:51.830
Yes.

315
00:13:51.830 --> 00:13:55.160
That’s why it takes so long for your post
to arrive!

316
00:13:55.160 --> 00:13:58.900
I’m going to give you a point for twigging
that before I made the connection there.

317
00:13:58.900 --> 00:14:00.190
It goes via Czechoslovakia!

318
00:14:00.190 --> 00:14:03.420
He was Minister in Charge of Post and Technology.

319
00:14:03.420 --> 00:14:07.060
And that includes things like the
Post Office Tower and things like that,

320
00:14:07.060 --> 00:13:50.830
that are transmitting signals around the world.

341
00:13:50.830 --> 00:13:51.830
Yes.

322
00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:14.209
This is pretty bad s*** isn’t it, let’s
face it. This is bad news bears.

323
00:14:14.209 --> 00:14:16.520
Somehow the embezzling
and taking someone else’s identity

324
00:14:16.520 --> 00:14:18.240
is yet not the worst thing about this man.

325
00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:19.640
- No.
- Because he’s used to it!

326
00:14:19.640 --> 00:14:20.740
That’s true, that.

327
00:14:20.740 --> 00:14:23.070
At the point where the government found out
about this,

328
00:14:23.070 --> 00:14:26.510
Margaret Thatcher was in power.
What did she decide to do?

329
00:14:26.510 --> 00:14:29.020
- Nothing?
- Privatise him.

330
00:14:32.500 --> 00:14:37.860
Yes, he will work with more efficiency
as a privately owned scumbag.

331
00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:40.660
British politics jokes there.

332
00:14:40.670 --> 00:14:44.540
Well, either nothing or something, is what
I’m going for there.

333
00:14:44.540 --> 00:14:45.839
Chris, choose one of those options.

334
00:14:45.839 --> 00:14:47.330
I’m going with something.

335
00:14:47.330 --> 00:03:18.900
You’re wrong. It’s nothing.

340
00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:21.920
Oh…

337
00:14:50.880 --> 00:14:53.180
It was easier to cover it up and never let
the public know

338
00:14:53.190 --> 00:14:54.990
that there had been a Czech spy in government.

339
00:14:54.990 --> 00:03:18.900
Because they’d obviously done no Czechs
on him!

340
00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:21.920
Oh…

341
00:13:50.830 --> 00:13:51.830
Yes.

342
00:15:09.800 --> 00:15:11.140
At the end of the show...

343
00:15:12.680 --> 00:15:15.780
Congratulations, Matt, you win this one.

344
00:15:15.790 --> 00:15:16.790
How?

345
00:15:16.790 --> 00:15:20.310
Genuinely, you got a lot of dings in there.

346
00:15:20.310 --> 00:15:23.250
You win breakfast food prepared by the star
of Sherlock.

347
00:15:23.250 --> 00:15:25.120
It’s Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch.

348
00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:26.140
F***ing...

349
00:15:26.550 --> 00:15:27.540
Do enjoy that.

350
00:15:27.550 --> 00:15:28.990
With that, we say thank you to Chris Joel.

351
00:15:28.990 --> 00:15:29.990
It’s over!

352
00:15:29.990 --> 00:15:30.980
To Gary Brannan.

353
00:15:32.180 --> 00:15:33.200
To Matt Gray.

354
00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:34.280
Bye-bye YouTube.

355
00:15:34.280 --> 00:15:36.140
I’ve been Tom Scott,
we’ll see you next time.