WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

1
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This is the Technical Difficulties,
we’re playing Citation Needed.

2
00:00:05.860 --> 00:00:07.940
Joining me today, he reads books y'know,
it’s Chris Joel.

3
00:00:07.940 --> 00:00:09.600
Hello again, my beauties!

4
00:00:10.470 --> 00:00:12.220
Everybody’s favourite Gary Brannan,
Gary Brannan.

5
00:00:12.220 --> 00:00:15.080
And of course, the thing you must not do
if the ape is enraged

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00:00:15.080 --> 00:00:16.680
is the Macarena.

7
00:00:18.420 --> 00:00:20.280
And the bounciest man on the internet,
Matt Gray.

8
00:00:20.280 --> 00:00:21.980
Marhaba, YouTube.

9
00:00:25.780 --> 00:00:29.140
In front of me I’ve got an article from Wikipedia
and these folks can’t see it.

10
00:00:29.150 --> 00:00:30.920
Every fact they get right is a point
and a ding,

11
00:00:30.920 --> 00:00:33.520
and there's a special prize for particularly
good answers which is...

12
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And today we are talking about Charles Blondin.

13
00:00:40.090 --> 00:00:43.520
Which gives us exactly
nothing to go on, apart...

14
00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:46.260
I mean, the way I pronounce that
gives you a bit of a hint.

15
00:00:46.260 --> 00:00:47.260
Français?

16
00:00:47.260 --> 00:00:48.260
Yes, absolutely right.

17
00:00:48.260 --> 00:00:49.260
He was French.

18
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Oh, the wheel spins and lands on France…!

19
00:00:50.333 --> 00:00:51.333
It’s not a wheel!

20
00:00:51.333 --> 00:00:55.850
It’s just a piece of cardboard with an arrow
saying France!

21
00:00:55.850 --> 00:00:59.260
Charles Blondin, also known as The Great Blondin.

22
00:00:59.260 --> 00:01:01.170
Did he do something with hot air balloons?

23
00:01:01.170 --> 00:01:02.490
That sounds like you know that.

24
00:01:02.490 --> 00:01:05.610
Well, it’s a stunt man-y sort of name,
isn’t it?

25
00:01:05.610 --> 00:01:07.510
I know France did hot air balloons.

26
00:01:07.510 --> 00:01:09.289
That was the Montgolfier brothers.

27
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- See? France did hot air balloons!
- He’s right, you know.

28
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I mean he’s not wrong, he’s not wrong,
but no.

29
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He’s not wrong and yet, in the back
of your mind, the phrase is:

30
00:01:18.020 --> 00:01:19.679
"how do I say he is wrong?"

31
00:01:19.679 --> 00:01:21.240
That's fair.

32
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Yes, Chevalier Blondin, or The Great Blondin.

33
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Magician?

34
00:01:26.080 --> 00:01:29.460
Certainly that sort of entertainer,
that sort of genre…

35
00:01:29.460 --> 00:01:30.460
Strongman.

36
00:01:30.540 --> 00:01:33.060
Oh, was he like that bit in Ocean’s Eleven
with the acrobatics

37
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to steal the money from the vault?

38
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We are looking for a specific
acrobatic trick here.

39
00:01:38.289 --> 00:01:39.289
Something that you’d be known for.

40
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It wasn’t like Henry IV’s
favourite acrobat?

41
00:01:41.540 --> 00:01:44.740
I think it’s Henry IV, I might be...
medievalists out there,

42
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apologies I might have got
the wrong king there,

43
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who was known for
a whistle, a tumble and a fart.

44
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That was his act.

45
00:01:52.540 --> 00:01:54.999
And he was knighted because the king thought
it was so funny.

46
00:01:54.999 --> 00:01:56.159
Apparently, Roland the Farter.

47
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Roland the Farter!

48
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That's it.

49
00:01:58.259 --> 00:01:59.259
Roland the Farter.

50
00:01:59.259 --> 00:02:00.529
You’re not getting points for this, but
you are right.

51
00:02:00.529 --> 00:02:03.689
This was King Henry II, in medieval times.

52
00:02:03.689 --> 00:02:08.400
A medieval flatulist who each year, in exchange
for 30 acres of land,

53
00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:11.890
was obliged to perform a jump,
a whistle and a fart.

54
00:02:11.890 --> 00:02:15.500
Can I just take a moment here for "flatulist"?

75
00:02:15.500 --> 00:02:16.500
Yes!

56
00:02:16.500 --> 00:02:20.380
Now I know this 'cos Wikipedia has a list
of flatulists.

57
00:02:20.380 --> 00:02:23.040
Yes, yes they do.

58
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What wasn’t he actually doing?

59
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He wasn’t actually breaking wind.

60
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He was actually...

61
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This is going to grim.

62
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He was able to suck wind in,

63
00:02:30.730 --> 00:02:33.680
and then blow it out again
through muscle power, I assume.

64
00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:36.660
And because that was technically a question
I asked, you’re getting the point.

65
00:02:39.400 --> 00:02:42.260
Ever felt you’re on home turf with a subject?

66
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We are looking for a specific acrobatic act
that Charles Blondin was famous for.

67
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The windy-windy-falling-fabric thing!

68
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- Aerial silks!
- Aerial silks!

69
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No. What have you got, Chris?

70
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The flat-o-mer-boing-a-mi-thing!

71
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Slackline?

72
00:02:55.760 --> 00:02:56.980
Trampo-mo-line!

73
00:02:56.980 --> 00:02:58.620
Trampo-mo-line, no.

74
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The high-rope-walkalongy…

75
00:02:15.500 --> 00:02:16.500
Yes!

76
00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:04.800
Is he the one that walked between big buildings?

77
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:06.320
No, that’s Philippe Petit.

78
00:03:06.320 --> 00:03:07.260
Yes, this was…

79
00:03:07.260 --> 00:03:08.320
Wasn’t he French?

80
00:03:08.320 --> 00:03:10.120
Yes, hence the name Philippe Petit!

81
00:03:10.120 --> 00:03:12.780
No, but you said it more "Philip Petty", though.

82
00:03:12.780 --> 00:03:13.900
He’s Philip Petty!

83
00:03:13.900 --> 00:03:16.380
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' brother.

84
00:03:16.380 --> 00:03:21.800
You’re absolutely right, it is the
walky-longy-not-fally-downy-thing.

85
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Correct.

86
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The elastomastring!

87
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He was a tightrope walker.

88
00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:31.830
He came up with the idea to cross
a certain thing on a tightrope.

89
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Oh, Thingy Falls.

90
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I’m not allowing you Thingy Falls!

91
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Niagara.

92
00:03:36.590 --> 00:03:37.590
That’s the one, Thingy.

93
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Yes, you’re absolutely right, Niagara Falls.

94
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I knew what you meant.

95
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Widey! Big! Dangerous!

96
00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:42.660
Yeah, Thingy Falls!

97
00:03:42.660 --> 00:03:46.240
Widey Falls, not Tall Falls.
Victoria, tall… wide.

98
00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:47.580
It’s going to be curved in, it’s going
to be like that…

99
00:03:47.580 --> 00:03:50.220
Oh, that’s where I went wrong, I need my
hands that way.

100
00:03:50.320 --> 00:03:52.100
Have you ever rubbed a waterfall?

101
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Don’t get your hands backwards.

102
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You don’t want to rub it the wrong way.

103
00:03:55.180 --> 00:03:56.600
Actually you were trying to push the water
back up weren’t you?

104
00:03:56.600 --> 00:04:00.940
Get-- ugh!-- what is Cnut doing
in the wave pool?

105
00:04:01.880 --> 00:04:04.640
Stood at the bottom, like Atlas, failing.

106
00:04:05.920 --> 00:04:09.440
You’re sort of, “Why is no one else as
bothered about this as me?”

107
00:04:09.440 --> 00:04:13.260
“The sea will be empty, the 
fish will...

108
00:04:13.260 --> 00:04:14.800
“...opposite of drown!”

109
00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:17.960
Asphyxiate, Gary!

110
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“The fish are drowning!
They seem fine with it, though...”

111
00:04:21.960 --> 00:04:24.040
You should have seen Noah trying to
load them onto the Ark!

112
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Did not like it, did not like it at all.

113
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“There’s going to be a flood!
Get the fish on!”

114
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A long time ago...

115
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You’re absolutely right, he was the first
to cross Niagara…

116
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What did he do, insult it or something?

117
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To cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope.

118
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What did he then go back and do?

119
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Fetch the other end of the rope and
walk back with it.

120
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Oh, what an act!

121
00:04:46.870 --> 00:04:48.290
You’d pay to see it.

122
00:04:48.290 --> 00:04:50.900
Well he did some other acts on the tightrope.

123
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Whistle, tumble, fart?

124
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Famous mid-air, tightrope walking flatulist.

125
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Hell of an entry on Wikipedia,
let's face it.

126
00:04:57.840 --> 00:05:00.480
There were some theatrical variations,
it says here, on the idea of…

127
00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:02.080
Oh, he wore a hat.

128
00:05:02.080 --> 00:05:03.240
Well he wore something.

129
00:05:03.240 --> 00:05:04.120
His wife.

130
00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:05.960
He carried his manager.

131
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I think the idea of carrying a person
is close enough,

132
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I’m going to give you the point there.

133
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Is that in case he had any border issues at
the other end?

134
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No, it’s in case he wasn’t getting
a big enough cut.

135
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Someone to negotiate with him
on the other side.

136
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Negotiate at the top of the Niagara Falls!

137
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Hey, you’d agree quick, though,
wouldn’t you?

138
00:05:21.650 --> 00:05:25.930
Also: in a sack, on stilts,
not at the same time, and also…

139
00:05:25.930 --> 00:05:26.930
He was in a sack?

140
00:05:26.930 --> 00:05:27.930
Yes, he was in a sack.

141
00:05:27.930 --> 00:05:29.920
How did he tightrope walk in a sack?

142
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- Carefully.
- You put it on the top, not the bottom.

143
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Oh, right, with you, sorry, yeah.

144
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Sack racing across a tightrope.

145
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I would defo… never mind over Niagara Falls!

146
00:05:37.920 --> 00:05:39.730
Well, two people, think about the overtaking!

147
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Yes, you could see the waveform on the line.

148
00:05:43.690 --> 00:05:47.160
Does that mean they next did an
egg and spoon race over Niagara Falls?

149
00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:50.540
Are we talking tightrope sport race?
Sports race? Sports day.

150
00:05:50.540 --> 00:05:52.740
Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt.

151
00:05:52.740 --> 00:05:55.040
You are so close…

152
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Because unbelievably the word “egg” is
the accurate one in there.

153
00:06:03.550 --> 00:06:08.220
What did he do in the middle of a tightrope,
over Niagara Falls in about 1860?

154
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Fry an omelette.

155
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Omelette. Oi, I was saying that!

156
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But how did I get that afterwards?

157
00:06:12.699 --> 00:06:14.350
I was doing it better!

158
00:06:14.350 --> 00:06:16.200
And Chris steals the point!

159
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He cooked and ate an omelette on a tightrope
in the middle of Niagara Falls.

160
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What? On what?

161
00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:27.460
- Well, the tightrope.
- Pan.

162
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Yeah, alright knobhead, but what?

163
00:06:29.620 --> 00:06:31.320
Because that means a heat source,

164
00:06:31.330 --> 00:06:34.530
so you’ve got to have a little cooking stove
or something balanced on...

165
00:06:34.530 --> 00:06:35.730
But what’s that balanced on?

166
00:06:35.730 --> 00:06:36.730
- His hand.
- His hand!

167
00:06:36.730 --> 00:06:40.620
How the f*** is he carrying a thing, and a
thing, and what’s-a, on a balance…?

168
00:06:40.620 --> 00:06:42.090
Well, that is the trick.

169
00:06:42.090 --> 00:06:44.950
That is literally the act
he is being paid to do.

170
00:06:44.950 --> 00:06:47.080
That is why it’s impressive, Gary.

171
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He also stood on a chair, with one chair leg
on the rope, on Niagara..

172
00:06:52.430 --> 00:06:55.389
No, no, no, no, no, no...

173
00:06:55.389 --> 00:06:57.740
50 metres above the water.

174
00:06:57.740 --> 00:07:00.260
How big is this wire by the way,
while we’re on it?

175
00:07:00.260 --> 00:07:02.199
Well quite long 'cos it has to go
across Niagara Falls.

176
00:07:02.199 --> 00:07:04.110
What’s the diameter of this wire?

177
00:07:04.110 --> 00:07:05.110
Cheesewire!

178
00:07:05.110 --> 00:07:06.110
Oh no.

179
00:07:06.110 --> 00:07:08.389
Ooh, just slices of feet.

180
00:07:08.389 --> 00:07:11.740
What I’d like y'all to do at this point is to
gesture how big you think this wire is.

181
00:07:11.740 --> 00:07:13.120
What, thickness wise?

182
00:07:13.120 --> 00:07:14.600
- Girth?
- Yes, girth.

183
00:07:14.600 --> 00:07:16.480
- That big?
- That big?

184
00:07:16.520 --> 00:07:18.900
Have you just made whatever happens to be
the size of your…?

185
00:07:18.900 --> 00:07:20.520
No, no, I’m thinking of cable for...

186
00:07:20.520 --> 00:07:23.570
I’m thinking how big it would be for your
feet to comfortably sit on and be attached,

187
00:07:23.570 --> 00:07:26.240
so it can’t be much bigger than about that,
I wouldn’t have thought.

188
00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:27.660
Yeah, Gary you’ve basically got it
spot on.

189
00:07:27.660 --> 00:07:29.410
Eight and a bit centimetres,
you’re absolutely right.

190
00:07:29.410 --> 00:07:30.410
Oh.

191
00:07:30.410 --> 00:07:32.400
Balls to this, I can’t actually see the
man do the egg.

192
00:07:32.400 --> 00:07:35.669
I’d rather I was closer to him so I could
witness how good the omelette was.

193
00:07:35.669 --> 00:07:38.180
I’m sorry, if he’s going to show off I’m
going to get picky as well.

194
00:07:38.180 --> 00:07:41.660
Is it going to be Saturday Kitchen where they
try and do it under a minute?

195
00:07:41.660 --> 00:07:42.960
Omelette Challenge.
60 seconds.

196
00:07:44.919 --> 00:07:47.960
That’s a reference that not many people
are going to get isn’t it?

197
00:07:47.960 --> 00:07:50.210
Now there is a sentence in this article.

198
00:07:50.210 --> 00:07:51.460
Obviously, at this point --

199
00:07:51.460 --> 00:07:55.310
he was born in France, he’s moved to the
US to do this sort of thing.

200
00:07:55.310 --> 00:07:59.509
While in the US he married someone called
Charlotte Lawrence.

201
00:07:59.509 --> 00:08:01.460
What’s strange about that?

202
00:08:01.460 --> 00:08:02.520
Is he a bigamist?

203
00:08:02.520 --> 00:08:03.980
Well, we don’t know.

204
00:08:03.980 --> 00:08:06.110
I’ll give you the point because the phrase
here is:

205
00:08:06.110 --> 00:08:09.150
"while in the US he married a second wife".

206
00:08:09.150 --> 00:08:11.220
That indicates you’re a bigamist.

207
00:08:11.220 --> 00:08:15.020
And then slightly earlier it says he married
Marie Blancherie,

208
00:08:15.020 --> 00:08:19.600
and it is not known what happened to his French
family after he went to America.

209
00:08:19.600 --> 00:08:20.729
So I will give you the point.

210
00:08:20.729 --> 00:08:24.430
It’s quite possible that he divorced her
or that something else happened.

211
00:08:24.430 --> 00:08:25.919
It’s not recorded in here.

212
00:08:25.919 --> 00:08:28.990
Can you imagine being his first wife,
thinking your husband’s disappeared,

213
00:08:28.990 --> 00:08:32.450
never to be heard of again, and picking up
Le Monde and seeing the front page,

214
00:08:32.450 --> 00:08:35.380
“Man Cooks Egg Over Niagara Falls”
and going “b******!”

215
00:08:35.380 --> 00:08:37.720
Oh yes, because it was definitely
front-page-worthy.

216
00:08:37.730 --> 00:08:38.730
Oh, yeah!

217
00:08:38.730 --> 00:08:40.279
What, you think this isn’t?

218
00:08:40.279 --> 00:08:43.020
Blondin came back to Europe,
lived in the UK,

219
00:08:43.020 --> 00:08:47.350
retired for a while and then made a reappearance
in the sort of manner

220
00:08:47.350 --> 00:08:51.690
you’d expect stars who are
in need of money to do.

221
00:08:51.690 --> 00:08:53.130
I’m a Celebrity.

222
00:08:53.130 --> 00:08:57.690
Something that existed at the end of
the 19th century and still exists now.

223
00:08:57.690 --> 00:08:58.690
Panto.

249
00:08:58.690 --> 00:08:59.690
Yes.

225
00:08:59.690 --> 00:09:00.810
You are absolutely right.

226
00:09:00.810 --> 00:09:04.330
He appeared in Jack and the Beanstalk
at the Crystal Palace.

227
00:09:04.330 --> 00:09:06.660
Not at Crystal Palace, at the Crystal Palace.

228
00:09:06.660 --> 00:09:10.960
I’m going to guess that what he did is his
tightrope act on was, maybe, the beanstalk.

229
00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:15.660
I’m going to suggest that might be it,
it’s not recorded here but, yes.

230
00:09:15.660 --> 00:09:18.230
Nah, he was the front end of the panto horse.

231
00:09:18.230 --> 00:09:20.589
While on the beanstalk.

232
00:09:20.589 --> 00:09:24.000
Back end, not a tightrope walker,
clinging on desperately.

233
00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:27.230
It’s like, you have to put some
tightrope walking in there,

234
00:09:27.230 --> 00:09:28.640
because this guy’s a one-trick pony…

235
00:09:28.640 --> 00:09:30.000
Oh, f*** off…

236
00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:31.840
That wasn’t a joke.

237
00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:34.680
Oh, horse!
Panto horse.

238
00:09:37.040 --> 00:09:39.620
I must just be naturally funny(!)

239
00:09:43.700 --> 00:09:46.560
When he’s out of work he’s getting the
washing in, where is he?

240
00:09:46.570 --> 00:09:48.160
On top of the washing line.

241
00:09:48.160 --> 00:09:53.250
He was so associated with tightrope walking,
what happened to his name?

242
00:09:53.250 --> 00:09:56.810
Oh, the tightrope became his name!

243
00:09:56.810 --> 00:09:58.639
A tightrope walker was called a Blondin.

244
00:09:58.640 --> 00:10:00.920
- Ah.
- That’s how well-known he was.

245
00:10:00.920 --> 00:10:02.320
Like how people Google for things…

246
00:10:02.339 --> 00:10:03.420
Going back to an earlier thing,

247
00:10:03.420 --> 00:10:05.850
like that guy was around in the early 2000s
called Mr Methane.

248
00:10:05.850 --> 00:08:58.690
Another one on your list of famous flatulists!

249
00:08:58.690 --> 00:08:59.690
Yes.

250
00:10:09.500 --> 00:10:12.800
See how I’m tying these bits together today.

251
00:10:12.800 --> 00:10:16.580
There is also a thing called a Blondin,
even now.

252
00:10:16.580 --> 00:10:19.380
And it’s a bit of industrial equipment.

253
00:10:19.380 --> 00:10:20.700
What might it be?

254
00:10:20.700 --> 00:10:22.560
Safety rig for working at height?

255
00:10:22.560 --> 00:10:23.709
Not for people.

256
00:10:23.709 --> 00:10:25.700
- Animals.
- For sheep working at height!

257
00:10:25.700 --> 00:10:28.920
“Go on Bessie, the grass is a bit long
near the cliff.”

258
00:10:28.920 --> 00:10:30.320
“Baaa!”

259
00:10:30.340 --> 00:10:32.760
- Not for animals...
- That’s a valid thing you might need

260
00:10:32.760 --> 00:10:35.700
because companies are putting sheep on their
roofs, aren’t they?

261
00:10:35.700 --> 00:10:37.120
What?

262
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:39.800
If you build a new building you can put the
organic roofs on

263
00:10:39.800 --> 00:10:42.710
that are a layer of turf to help insulate,
to stop it...

264
00:10:42.710 --> 00:10:46.240
Some companies want it to be kind of a wild
garden, but other companies…

265
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:47.240
Want it neatly mowed?

266
00:10:47.240 --> 00:10:48.860
And they’re putting sheep and goats on it.

267
00:10:48.860 --> 00:10:49.840
Cracking.

268
00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:51.520
So you might need a safety line for a sheep,
it's working at height…

269
00:10:51.520 --> 00:10:54.120
When was the last time you put a safety harness
on a sheep?

270
00:10:54.120 --> 00:10:55.120
Wednesday.

271
00:10:56.600 --> 00:10:59.480
All I can think is that I want to change jobs
to aerial shepherd.

272
00:11:02.580 --> 00:11:05.700
What might you need to move,
on a rope, in a quarry?

273
00:11:05.700 --> 00:11:06.780
Oh, stone.

274
00:11:06.780 --> 00:11:08.220
You’re absolutely right.

275
00:11:08.220 --> 00:11:11.020
It’s an aerial ropeway used in
Welsh slate quarries.

276
00:11:11.020 --> 00:11:13.470
It’s called a Blondin after him.

277
00:11:13.470 --> 00:11:16.550
Oh, right, so like the ones at the end of…
nah, that doesn’t spoil anything,

278
00:11:16.550 --> 00:11:18.110
like the ones at the end of Get Carter,

279
00:11:18.110 --> 00:11:20.320
that kind of thing where it dumps
coal in the sea.

280
00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:21.560
Hands up who's seen Get Carter?

281
00:11:23.740 --> 00:11:25.120
- Literally none.
- Literally only Gary.

282
00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:27.459
F*** it, bring the screen down.

283
00:11:27.459 --> 00:11:28.670
We’re watching this, alright?

284
00:11:28.670 --> 00:11:32.220
“You’re a big man, but you’re out of shape.
He does this for a living.”

285
00:11:35.160 --> 00:11:38.180
- That’s from Get Carter.
- Get Carter.

286
00:11:38.180 --> 00:11:42.180
There is one other person I’d like to talk
about from Niagara Falls

287
00:11:42.190 --> 00:11:44.250
and from the history of Niagara Falls.

288
00:11:44.250 --> 00:11:47.180
Is it... was it a lady or a gentleman went
over it in a barrel?

289
00:11:47.180 --> 00:11:49.900
You said lady or a gentleman, Gary,
I’ll give you the choice, pick one.

290
00:11:49.900 --> 00:11:51.760
Oh f***.

291
00:11:51.760 --> 00:11:54.680
The little bell that’s ringing in the back of my head
says lady but I could be wrong.

292
00:11:54.680 --> 00:11:55.780
- Roll with it.
- Have a point.

293
00:11:55.780 --> 00:11:57.800
- Oh, right okay.
- Any idea of the names?

294
00:11:57.800 --> 00:11:59.700
Annie Edison Taylor.

295
00:11:59.700 --> 00:12:02.779
Born in 1838, ended up in Bay City, Michigan

296
00:12:02.779 --> 00:12:05.100
where she hoped to become a dance instructor.

297
00:12:05.100 --> 00:12:06.500
Did she not?

298
00:12:06.500 --> 00:12:08.360
I mean, have the point. Why not?

299
00:12:08.360 --> 00:12:10.900
Couldn’t f***ing dance(!)

300
00:12:12.820 --> 00:12:14.519
Bog-all rhythm.

301
00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:16.500
There’s nobody wanting to dance.

302
00:12:16.500 --> 00:12:18.090
There are no dance schools.

303
00:12:19.820 --> 00:12:23.320
Now why didn’t she sort of break the mould
and start one, rather than just…

304
00:12:23.320 --> 00:12:26.100
Well she did! She absolutely did, have a point.

305
00:12:26.100 --> 00:12:29.020
Then she travelled all over the place trying
to find work,

306
00:12:29.029 --> 00:12:31.240
couldn’t find any
and moved back to Bay City.

307
00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:34.600
Which means she wanted to secure
her later years financially.

308
00:12:34.600 --> 00:12:36.269
She wanted to avoid what?

309
00:12:36.269 --> 00:12:38.000
Workhouses? Something like that?

310
00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:39.580
Yes, the poor house, absolutely right.

311
00:12:39.590 --> 00:12:43.330
She decided she would be the first person
to ride over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

312
00:12:43.330 --> 00:12:47.030
And she considers that securing her future?

313
00:12:47.030 --> 00:12:48.730
Not putting it at dire risk.

314
00:12:48.730 --> 00:12:51.240
She was actually in her 60s,
when she went over.

315
00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:52.540
Really?

316
00:12:52.540 --> 00:12:54.920
Using a custom made barrel.

317
00:12:54.920 --> 00:12:58.740
Why did she use a barrel, not, like a boat
or something proper?

318
00:12:58.740 --> 00:13:00.620
“It was a proper barrel!”

319
00:13:00.620 --> 00:13:03.570
That’s good question.
What is a barrel designed to do?

320
00:13:03.570 --> 00:13:04.580
Oh, keep water out?

321
00:13:04.580 --> 00:13:05.580
Exactly.

322
00:13:05.580 --> 00:13:06.580
It’s designed…

323
00:13:06.580 --> 00:13:07.690
Well, strictly speaking,
to keep water in, surely?

324
00:13:07.690 --> 00:13:10.140
- No, keep booze in, and water out!
- Oh, right, with you!

325
00:13:10.140 --> 00:13:12.300
- Yes!
- Focus man, come on.

326
00:13:12.300 --> 00:13:14.660
It is meant to be waterproof.

327
00:13:14.670 --> 00:13:18.750
So the idea is she’s in there,
in a slightly pressurised barrel,

328
00:13:18.750 --> 00:13:20.260
with a heart-shaped pillow and mattress.

329
00:13:20.260 --> 00:13:21.260
There was a lid on it?

330
00:13:21.260 --> 00:13:22.260
There was a lid on it.

331
00:13:22.260 --> 00:13:25.470
Oh right, I assumed it was up to the waist
or something!

332
00:13:25.470 --> 00:13:26.470
“Tally-ho!”

333
00:13:26.470 --> 00:13:29.930
I’ve always assumed that, that’s how I’ve
always pictured it.

334
00:13:29.930 --> 00:13:30.930
I never thought…

335
00:13:30.930 --> 00:13:33.080
Sort of like a tub over the edge, yeah.

336
00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:34.960
Come to think of it, yeah, so have I.

337
00:13:34.960 --> 00:13:38.890
No, she was stuffed in a barrel
with the top sealed.

338
00:13:38.890 --> 00:13:42.640
A little bit of pressure in there, the idea
being that all she’s going to feel is:

339
00:13:42.640 --> 00:13:47.800
darkness, darkness, darkness, plunge, thump,
thump, thump, thump,

340
00:13:47.800 --> 00:13:48.800
get out the other side.

341
00:13:48.800 --> 00:13:49.800
Did she?

342
00:13:49.800 --> 00:13:51.020
Well you keep asking me the questions, Matt,

343
00:13:51.020 --> 00:13:53.980
but that’s not actually
what I’m here for.

344
00:13:53.980 --> 00:13:54.980
So…

345
00:13:54.980 --> 00:13:57.709
Let’s say she didn’t.

346
00:13:57.709 --> 00:13:59.260
She did.

347
00:13:59.260 --> 00:14:03.060
She made it over the falls with nothing but
a small gash on her head.

348
00:14:03.060 --> 00:14:04.720
What did she say afterwards?

349
00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:05.920
F***!

350
00:14:07.380 --> 00:14:08.860
I mean it was… it was…

351
00:14:08.860 --> 00:14:11.580
I’m going to give you the point because
it wasn’t that short,

352
00:14:11.580 --> 00:14:13.180
it wasn’t in so few words,

353
00:14:13.181 --> 00:14:15.740
but yes, “If it was with my dying breath,

354
00:14:15.740 --> 00:14:18.380
“I would caution anyone against attempting the feat.”

355
00:14:18.380 --> 00:14:20.980
That’s never a great recommendation for
a ride is it?

356
00:14:20.990 --> 00:14:24.160
No, but it’s really smart for somebody who
is looking to secure their fame

357
00:14:24.160 --> 00:14:25.840
for being the one who did it.

358
00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:29.900
“I would sooner walk up to the mouth of a cannon
knowing it was going to blow me to pieces

359
00:14:29.900 --> 00:14:32.600
than make another trip over the fall.”

360
00:14:32.600 --> 00:14:35.630
And next week, watch me walk up to a cannon
knowing it’s going to blow me to pieces!

361
00:14:35.630 --> 00:14:39.300
At the end of the show, congratulations Chris,
you win this one.

362
00:14:40.700 --> 00:14:41.680
Well done.

363
00:14:41.680 --> 00:14:45.790
You win a small fast bird that makes clothing
for other small fast birds.

364
00:14:45.790 --> 00:14:46.970
Oh God.

365
00:14:46.970 --> 00:14:49.339
It’s this Tailor Swift.

366
00:14:49.340 --> 00:14:50.980
With that we say thank you to Chris Joel,

367
00:14:52.520 --> 00:14:53.540
to Gary Brannan,

368
00:14:53.820 --> 00:14:54.840
to Matt Gray.

369
00:14:54.840 --> 00:14:55.520
Bye bye YouTube.

370
00:14:55.520 --> 00:14:57.360
I’ve been Tom Scott and we’ll see you
next time.