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Language: en

1
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This is the Technical Difficulties, we're
playing 'Citation Needed'.

2
00:00:03.939 --> 00:00:05.900
Joining me today, he reads books y'know, it's
Chris Joel.

3
00:00:05.900 --> 00:00:09.640
I've... still not put it together in the right order,
I'll try for the second show.

4
00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:12.180
Everybody's favourite Gary Brannan, Gary Brannan.

5
00:00:12.180 --> 00:00:13.720
Get out o'my office!

6
00:00:14.330 --> 00:00:18.500
And standing in for Matt Gray,
the Mouth from the South, Will Seaward.

7
00:00:18.500 --> 00:00:20.820
I have, indeed, eaten Matt.

8
00:00:22.420 --> 00:00:26.590
In front of me I have an article from Wikipedia
and these folks can't see it.

9
00:00:26.590 --> 00:00:28.530
Every fact they get right
is a point and a ding

10
00:00:28.530 --> 00:00:31.360
and there's a prize for a particularly good
answers, which is...

11
00:00:33.960 --> 00:00:38.230
And today we are talking about
the Stephens Island wren.

12
00:00:38.230 --> 00:00:40.140
A person in the lady navy…?

13
00:00:40.140 --> 00:00:42.180
This is really terrible! The lady navy(!)

14
00:00:42.180 --> 00:00:43.420
The Lady Navy?

15
00:00:46.120 --> 00:00:50.540
Just for those who don't have their
British naval history there... 'the lady navy'?

16
00:00:50.540 --> 00:00:53.489
That was like a car at the start
of a Formula 1 race,

17
00:00:53.489 --> 00:00:55.620
just stalling on the start line.

18
00:00:58.180 --> 00:01:00.280
I can't remember the acronym. I get the…

19
00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:02.469
Is it just Women's Royal Navy, is that it?
There's no E.

20
00:01:02.469 --> 00:01:05.189
The Women's Royal Naval Service, the WRNS.

21
00:01:05.189 --> 00:01:07.180
The WRNS, there we go.

22
00:01:08.140 --> 00:01:10.020
Well, that's the 1940s isn't it?

23
00:01:10.020 --> 00:01:11.679
Because there's no such thing now.

24
00:01:11.679 --> 00:01:13.130
Yes, you're absolutely right.

25
00:01:13.130 --> 00:01:18.049
It was 1993, apparently, when it all got unified.

26
00:01:18.049 --> 00:01:20.119
This has nothing to do with
the Stephens Island wren,

27
00:01:20.119 --> 00:01:22.420
but as a cheap joke that started the show,
well done.

28
00:01:22.420 --> 00:01:23.420
Yes, well done.

29
00:01:23.420 --> 00:01:24.520
Is it a bird?

30
00:01:25.700 --> 00:01:28.560
S***, I should have gone for plane first,
shouldn't I?

31
00:01:30.620 --> 00:01:31.980
Is it from Stephens Island?

32
00:01:33.440 --> 00:01:37.040
How the frig is he getting points as easy
as that this time?!

33
00:01:37.049 --> 00:01:38.969
He's new! Let him off.

34
00:01:38.969 --> 00:01:42.160
Is there a Wikipedia article about it?

35
00:01:42.160 --> 00:01:43.920
That is the point of the show.

36
00:01:45.960 --> 00:01:47.660
Genus troglodytes.

37
00:01:47.660 --> 00:01:49.060
Genus troglodytes? No.

38
00:01:49.069 --> 00:01:50.069
What?

39
00:01:50.069 --> 00:01:51.069
Not this time.

40
00:01:51.069 --> 00:01:52.069
I am offended.

41
00:01:52.069 --> 00:01:53.499
I'm having to look this up.

42
00:01:53.499 --> 00:01:56.439
The common wren is troglodytes troglodytes.
So I thought if it was a wren,

43
00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:58.079
it would probably be troglodytes something-elsesius.

44
00:01:58.079 --> 00:02:01.020
Alright, what we have here is Chris Joel,
ornithologist.

45
00:02:01.020 --> 00:02:03.920
When I say, "Ornith", you say, "Ologist."
Ornith!

46
00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:05.760
Ologist!

160
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:06.660
No.

48
00:02:06.660 --> 00:02:08.659
That's the first time that's ever been used
right though,

49
00:02:08.659 --> 00:02:10.590
because usually I haven't a f***ing clue.

50
00:02:10.590 --> 00:02:13.070
Well, in this case, unfortunately,
you are wrong.

51
00:02:13.070 --> 00:02:16.110
The Eurasian wren is troglodytes troglodytes,

52
00:02:16.110 --> 00:02:20.099
this is the Stephens Island wren,
traversia lyalli.

53
00:02:20.100 --> 00:02:22.510
Does it go through French alleyways?

54
00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:24.920
Le Alley?

55
00:02:24.930 --> 00:02:26.140
Le-alley.

56
00:02:26.140 --> 00:02:31.240
Will, you have slotted into Matt's seat
just perfectly.

57
00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:34.460
Well, when I ate him I stole his powers!

58
00:02:34.469 --> 00:02:36.280
That's how it works.

59
00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:39.209
You actually had a buzz cut didn't you,
before you went in?

60
00:02:39.209 --> 00:02:43.000
The man was clean shaven and five foot one.

61
00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:45.689
The Stephens Island wren, gentlemen,
a long time ago…

62
00:02:45.689 --> 00:02:50.180
So far we've established it's a bird on
Stephens Island that's a wren, basically, haven't we?

63
00:02:50.180 --> 00:02:53.540
Yes. Well, its last refuge was Stephens Island.

64
00:02:53.540 --> 00:02:56.180
Was it on the run for a horrific crime it
had committed?

65
00:02:56.180 --> 00:02:57.799
Was this its last stand?

66
00:02:57.799 --> 00:03:00.790
No, it had three other friends though and
they drove around in a black and red van

67
00:03:00.790 --> 00:03:04.430
and if you needed their help,
you know, they'd save sparrows and s***.

68
00:03:04.430 --> 00:03:05.680
Who would Mr T be?

69
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:06.680
What sort of bird?

70
00:03:06.680 --> 00:03:10.760
Well, they wouldn't fly would they? So it'd
be like an ostrich or a penguin or something.

71
00:03:10.760 --> 00:03:12.480
That was good. I like that.

72
00:03:12.480 --> 00:03:14.099
Gary, unbelievably, you have a point.

73
00:03:14.099 --> 00:03:15.140
No way, no.

74
00:03:15.140 --> 00:03:16.190
F*** off. How?

75
00:03:16.190 --> 00:03:20.640
Because the Stephens Island wren is flightless
and I'm giving you a point for that!

76
00:03:21.340 --> 00:03:25.780
Has it learned not to fly since being
on Stephens Island, it being an island,

77
00:03:25.780 --> 00:03:27.630
or did it get there on a raft?

78
00:03:27.630 --> 00:03:29.010
I like the idea of learning not to fly.

79
00:03:29.010 --> 00:03:32.420
"Oh, s***, I've flown again! I wish I could
forget this bollocks!"

80
00:03:32.420 --> 00:03:35.980
Well, maybe it didn't like it! Maybe it didn't
like heights.

81
00:03:35.980 --> 00:03:38.459
Yes, that's not forgetting is it? That's proactively…

82
00:03:38.459 --> 00:03:42.420
Is there a difference though? Between actively
forgetting and unlearning?

83
00:03:42.420 --> 00:03:44.640
"Welcome to epistemology today..."

84
00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:50.540
"Today, bird dat don't fly.
He forget or did he learn it?"

85
00:03:51.960 --> 00:03:56.859
It's also known as Lyall's wren. Why would
its last refuge be Stephens Island?

86
00:03:56.860 --> 00:03:58.700
Is it... extinct?

87
00:03:59.920 --> 00:04:00.680
Spot on.

88
00:04:00.680 --> 00:04:02.160
Okay. Was it delicious?

89
00:04:02.160 --> 00:04:04.640
Damn it! That much faster.

90
00:04:06.420 --> 00:04:09.099
Yes, but not that… I mean this is a wren…

91
00:04:09.099 --> 00:04:11.280
Yes, but no.

92
00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:13.069
It was, apparently, delicious.

93
00:04:13.069 --> 00:04:16.520
There have only ever been five species of
flightless songbirds found.

94
00:04:16.520 --> 00:04:17.740
What's happened to them?

95
00:04:17.740 --> 00:04:19.200
They've all been eaten.

96
00:04:20.340 --> 00:04:24.020
For the Stephens Island wren in particular
by what?

97
00:04:24.030 --> 00:04:26.900
Was it eaten by pests that were introduced
by humans?

98
00:04:26.900 --> 00:04:29.240
Yes, absolutely right. Any particular pests?

99
00:04:29.240 --> 00:04:30.220
Rats.

100
00:04:30.220 --> 00:04:31.280
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Bill Oddie!

101
00:04:34.080 --> 00:04:40.240
"Bring me another plate of wrens!
Conserve them that I may consume them…"

102
00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:41.930
Because that's what Bill Oddie sounds like
behind the scenes...

103
00:04:41.930 --> 00:04:45.479
We're in trouble when the audience
have better gags than we have.

104
00:04:45.479 --> 00:04:48.590
As Bill Oddie sits in the ruined wasteland
of the island

105
00:04:48.590 --> 00:04:51.460
seeing the last little wren entering his lips,

106
00:04:51.460 --> 00:04:52.860
he goes, "I really should have saved these."

318
00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:57.240
Yes!

108
00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:59.060
"You didn't see nothin'!"

109
00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:00.520
Not rats.

110
00:05:00.520 --> 00:05:01.320
Cats!

111
00:05:01.320 --> 00:05:04.340
Yes, cats is technically correct. Could we
be a bit more specific?

112
00:05:04.340 --> 00:05:06.180
Panthers?...

113
00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:12.120
Will, I've just got this thing of being in
like a hotel room,

114
00:05:12.120 --> 00:05:14.900
in a lonely kind of guest house and suddenly
from inside the cupboard,

115
00:05:14.900 --> 00:05:15.900
hearing you saying that.

116
00:05:15.900 --> 00:05:19.120
And it would be the most terrifying thing
I could imagine.

255
00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:22.300
"Panthers?"

118
00:05:22.300 --> 00:05:24.600
A single cat from one ship's crew.

119
00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:28.860
Absolutely right. A lighthouse keeper's cat
named Tibbles.

120
00:05:30.640 --> 00:05:33.580
Yes, allegedly, a lighthouse keeper's cat
named Tibbles

121
00:05:33.580 --> 00:05:37.300
and for a while that was the accepted wisdom,
what is more likely?

122
00:05:37.300 --> 00:05:19.120
More than one cat...!

255
00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:22.300
"Panthers?"

124
00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:44.500
Chris is closest, Chris gets a point, yes.

125
00:05:44.500 --> 00:05:48.640
Yes, a large number of feral cats had come
to overrun the island.

126
00:05:48.640 --> 00:05:52.069
How many living wrens were actually spotted,
ever?

127
00:05:52.069 --> 00:05:54.229
None. They're not spotted at all,

128
00:05:54.229 --> 00:05:57.780
they've got sort of
vertical striations or stripes.

129
00:05:58.880 --> 00:06:00.400
Go on, just hit me.

130
00:06:01.780 --> 00:04:55.040
It's not that, it's you're kind of right.

318
00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:57.240
Yes!

132
00:06:05.509 --> 00:06:08.580
Olive brown plumage with edges of brown.

133
00:06:08.580 --> 00:06:10.930
So I'll actually give you the stripes there.

134
00:06:10.930 --> 00:06:13.250
How often were they seen by humans?

135
00:06:13.250 --> 00:06:14.940
Seconds after the entered the cat's mouth,
probably, or when the cat brought…

136
00:06:14.940 --> 00:06:18.120
Yes, there was loads left in a pile on the
door mat.

137
00:06:18.120 --> 00:06:21.539
The cat's saying, "I'm friends with you",
by leaving dead bodies outside.

291
00:06:21.540 --> 00:06:25.560
And when I do it, it's wrong.

139
00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:30.360
Never. They were so small, they were essentially
invisible.

140
00:06:33.080 --> 00:06:35.160
I mean, I like it, but...

141
00:06:35.160 --> 00:06:37.040
What you've got there, mate, are bees.

142
00:06:38.400 --> 00:06:42.320
Bees, birds, and the next part of the talk
is where it gets distressing.

143
00:06:43.660 --> 00:06:47.840
Only twice. The lighthouse keeper called it
almost nocturnal,

144
00:06:47.840 --> 00:06:50.020
'Running around the rocks like a mouse.'

145
00:06:50.020 --> 00:06:52.539
Yeah, well, you would if you were being chased
by a frigging cat!

146
00:06:52.539 --> 00:06:54.400
Yes, that was the problem.

147
00:06:54.400 --> 00:06:56.680
Then the cats ate the lighthouse keepers,

148
00:06:56.680 --> 00:06:59.660
then the cats took over the lighthouse and
turned off the light,

149
00:06:59.660 --> 00:07:01.360
many ships were wrecked.

150
00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:02.360
And eaten!

151
00:07:02.360 --> 00:07:04.720
Those crews, also, were devoured.

152
00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:07.860
I mean you've got a good ghost story there.

153
00:07:07.860 --> 00:07:10.760
It's complete bollocks, but you've got a great
ghost story there.

154
00:07:11.640 --> 00:07:13.740
It was once widespread throughout the area.

155
00:07:13.740 --> 00:07:15.260
What area is Stephens Island in? Where are
we going to…?

156
00:07:15.260 --> 00:07:16.260
The sea!

157
00:07:20.880 --> 00:07:24.220
I mean, technically, I'ma give you a point
for that.

158
00:07:24.220 --> 00:07:26.880
Which part of the world…? This is 1870s…

159
00:07:26.880 --> 00:02:05.760
New England.

160
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:06.660
No.

161
00:07:28.840 --> 00:07:30.300
Nova Scotia?

162
00:07:30.300 --> 00:07:31.780
I mean, you...

163
00:07:31.780 --> 00:07:33.800
Can you make anything not sound kinky?

164
00:07:35.980 --> 00:07:38.840
You've said, "New." You've said, "Nova."
New is correct.

165
00:07:38.849 --> 00:07:39.849
Zealand.

166
00:07:39.849 --> 00:07:41.580
Yes, there we go, have a point.

167
00:07:41.580 --> 00:07:43.900
Prehistorically, it was all through New Zealand,

168
00:07:43.900 --> 00:07:48.240
then the land was settled.
Its bones can be found where?

169
00:07:48.240 --> 00:07:49.979
Cat poo.

170
00:07:49.979 --> 00:07:53.511
Yes, that's true, half of that's right...

171
00:07:53.511 --> 00:07:56.849
I love the way you lead me on like a primary
school teacher with the thick student,

172
00:07:56.849 --> 00:08:01.699
"You're right. Are there any other answers
in the class?"

173
00:08:01.699 --> 00:08:04.909
Deposits left by laughing owls.

174
00:08:04.909 --> 00:08:06.439
Wonderful!

175
00:08:06.440 --> 00:08:08.800
Was that an impression or a reaction?

176
00:08:10.340 --> 00:08:12.820
It's the thought of this darkly humoured owl
in a tree,

177
00:08:12.820 --> 00:08:17.660
watching all these wrens getting eaten and
going, "Ha-ha, losers!"

178
00:08:19.150 --> 00:08:20.140
What happened to the laughing owl?

179
00:08:20.140 --> 00:08:21.100
Did they get eaten next?

180
00:08:21.100 --> 00:08:22.120
Yes, they did.

181
00:08:23.960 --> 00:08:26.000
Not laughing now, are we?

182
00:08:26.009 --> 00:08:29.169
I was actually going to move on to other extinct
birds of New Zealand.

183
00:08:29.169 --> 00:08:30.169
Well, there's the Moa,

184
00:08:30.169 --> 00:08:32.330
there's that really fecking big eagle that's
the biggest one that ever lived,

185
00:08:32.330 --> 00:08:34.240
starts with a H.

186
00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:36.770
Augh, can't remember.

187
00:08:36.770 --> 00:08:39.740
"New Zealand fecking big eagle".

188
00:08:39.740 --> 00:08:42.830
Big feck-off... come on, come on.

189
00:08:42.830 --> 00:04:55.040
Haast's eagle.

318
00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:57.240
Yes!

191
00:08:46.220 --> 00:08:48.120
The wonders of technology.

192
00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:51.550
That's a terrifying thought that technology
might be optimised to how I think.

193
00:08:52.880 --> 00:08:54.820
The rest of you are screwed.

194
00:08:54.820 --> 00:08:57.380
Talking about introducing pests.

195
00:08:57.380 --> 00:08:58.500
Hello.

196
00:08:58.500 --> 00:09:02.520
There have been many, many attempts to deal
with pests,

197
00:09:02.520 --> 00:09:04.330
particularly Australia and New Zealand.

198
00:09:04.330 --> 00:09:06.210
They're not pests, they're legitimate countries.

199
00:09:06.210 --> 00:09:08.580
We had words about this before.

200
00:09:10.560 --> 00:09:14.400
Yes, what can you tell me about
the rabbit-proof fence?

201
00:09:14.400 --> 00:09:16.200
It wasn't rabbit-proof!

202
00:09:18.220 --> 00:09:19.820
Because they went under it.

203
00:09:19.820 --> 00:09:24.730
Yes. It turns out that building a fence was
not a great way to stop rabbits.

204
00:09:24.730 --> 00:09:27.900
Did they get in... in the hats of magicians?

205
00:09:34.660 --> 00:09:37.720
Tries to pull out flags of all nations.
Just loads of rabbits tied together.

206
00:09:39.380 --> 00:09:41.460
With the flags of all nations to be fair.

207
00:09:41.460 --> 00:09:43.500
It's actually the rabbits of all nations.

208
00:09:43.500 --> 00:09:45.180
Heavily tattooed.

209
00:09:45.180 --> 00:09:47.830
Yes. What can you tell me about
the Cobra Effect?

210
00:09:47.830 --> 00:09:49.720
And the phrasing here is,

211
00:09:49.720 --> 00:09:53.730
'It illustrates the causes of incorrect stimulation
in the economy.'

212
00:09:53.730 --> 00:09:54.920
Eh, kids?

213
00:09:56.160 --> 00:10:00.320
Is it to do with sales of Viagra?

214
00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:04.120
They introduce cobras,
but they're all dead-straight now.

215
00:10:06.680 --> 00:10:09.420
Flinging them like javelins. Come on!

216
00:10:09.420 --> 00:10:12.200
How you do it is your own business.

217
00:10:13.780 --> 00:10:15.000
Where might this have been?

218
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:16.000
India?

219
00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:18.440
Yes, despite the phrasing,
you are absolutely right.

220
00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:24.920
This was British Colonial India and they were
concerned about venomous snakes, cobras.

221
00:10:24.920 --> 00:10:28.820
What did they try to do to solve
the snake problem?

222
00:10:28.820 --> 00:10:30.660
Did they bribe them?

223
00:10:31.620 --> 00:10:33.780
Yes, set up an elaborate passport service

224
00:10:33.780 --> 00:10:35.370
that meant they couldn't move
from place to place.

225
00:10:35.370 --> 00:10:38.390
You know, that thing where, "Oh, he's got it.
He's got it. He's got it. No."

226
00:10:38.390 --> 00:10:41.290
To be fair, "he's got it" was "did they".

227
00:10:41.290 --> 00:10:43.300
And then "he's not" was... bribe?!

228
00:10:43.300 --> 00:10:46.530
Did they bribe the snake charmers?

229
00:10:46.530 --> 00:10:47.900
People to catch them.

230
00:10:47.900 --> 00:10:50.180
And then they wouldn't get rid of them all,

231
00:10:50.180 --> 00:10:51.970
because if they got rid of them all, they
wouldn't have an income

232
00:10:51.970 --> 00:10:54.440
so they bred snakes to make sure
they still had a…

233
00:10:55.060 --> 00:10:56.060
Amazing!

234
00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:04.200
I know that because that was a common thing,
16th-17th century.

235
00:11:04.210 --> 00:11:06.080
You have accounts of what they do in parishes

236
00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:08.370
and they have similar problems with beavers.

237
00:11:08.370 --> 00:11:11.240
You would bring the tails to show that you
caught the pests that you had.

238
00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:12.960
You also had beadles
that would get rid of dogs,

239
00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:14.260
things like that out of churches.

240
00:11:14.260 --> 00:11:18.020
But there were rumours that they would be,
potentially, breeding animals

241
00:11:18.020 --> 00:11:20.380
to make sure that they were still getting
paid for this little bit of income.

242
00:11:20.380 --> 00:11:21.690
So it was a similar thing.

243
00:11:21.690 --> 00:11:24.990
Yes. They offered a bounty for every
dead cobra, which worked.

244
00:11:24.990 --> 00:11:28.570
Then people started breeding cobras, so they
scrapped the bounty programme.

245
00:11:28.570 --> 00:11:29.670
What happened?

246
00:11:29.670 --> 00:11:30.670
Lots of snakes.

247
00:11:30.670 --> 00:11:33.080
I mean, yes, everyone released the cobras,

248
00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:34.510
because they were now worthless, so they just...

249
00:11:34.510 --> 00:11:36.130
Yes. When they did it, did they use the…

250
00:11:36.130 --> 00:11:38.570
Actually, this needs your voice to say this
doesn't it?

251
00:11:38.570 --> 00:11:40.580
Yes, "Release the cobras," surely?

252
00:11:40.580 --> 00:11:42.360
"Release the cobras."

253
00:11:42.360 --> 00:11:43.560
That is good.

254
00:11:43.560 --> 00:05:19.120
Good lord, I'm involuntarily
picking my feet up off the floor here.

255
00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:22.300
"Panthers?"

256
00:11:51.660 --> 00:11:53.820
No, that's clearly a Disney panther though,

257
00:11:53.830 --> 00:11:56.380
that is going to be smoking a pipe and asking
insightful questions,

258
00:11:56.380 --> 00:11:58.400
a panther introduced in that tone.

259
00:11:58.400 --> 00:12:00.870
I can never go to the cinema...!

260
00:12:00.870 --> 00:12:04.800
That's different reasons though, to do with
chucking the cobras.

261
00:12:04.800 --> 00:12:07.380
I'm just going to go, "Panthers?"

262
00:12:08.580 --> 00:12:10.510
So to drag this back, to drag this back,

263
00:12:10.510 --> 00:12:12.590
a long, long way to the Stephens Island wren.

264
00:12:12.590 --> 00:12:14.300
Oh, Jesus, yes.

265
00:12:14.300 --> 00:12:15.440
Oh, Christ.

266
00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:18.950
There were some fights over the specimens,
because…

267
00:12:18.950 --> 00:12:21.040
Between the cats, obviously,
'cos they were hungry.

268
00:12:21.040 --> 00:12:22.840
The thing is you're actually right,

269
00:12:22.840 --> 00:12:27.240
because almost all the specimens now extant
were brought in by cats.

270
00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:28.350
Oh, as presents?

271
00:12:28.350 --> 00:12:30.610
As presents for the lighthouse keeper,
you're absolutely right.

272
00:12:30.610 --> 00:12:34.490
Although, they're not presents.
They're sort of a mark of pity.

273
00:12:34.490 --> 00:12:37.650
Yes, it's that kind of,
"Look, that's how you do it", isn't it?

274
00:12:37.650 --> 00:12:39.270
It's the kind of thing they're showing you.

275
00:12:39.270 --> 00:12:41.940
It's like when they s*** on the floor, it's
to show they're angry.

276
00:12:41.940 --> 00:12:45.750
It's true. That's what happened when you came
to my house.

277
00:12:45.750 --> 00:12:49.270
What? You s*** on the floor
because you were angry he was there...?

278
00:12:49.270 --> 00:12:50.270
"Out, Scott!"

279
00:12:50.270 --> 00:12:52.640
Do you remember?
He once stayed over at my house.

280
00:12:52.640 --> 00:12:55.340
I did. God, that was before
your stag-do wasn't it?

281
00:12:55.340 --> 00:12:58.020
Yeah. You stayed over at my house and I just
heard this immortal phrase,

282
00:12:58.020 --> 00:13:00.060
"Gary? The cat's s*** on the floor."

283
00:13:00.060 --> 00:13:02.640
I have no memory of this at all.

284
00:13:02.640 --> 00:13:06.140
That happened. It's the only time she's ever
done it with another person in the house.

285
00:13:06.140 --> 00:13:08.290
Normally, we get it after a weekend away or
something,

286
00:13:08.290 --> 00:13:11.630
a day or so later she'll just go and lay one
on the floor to say,

287
00:13:11.630 --> 00:13:14.040
"Damn it, you've been away and this is how
angry I am,

288
00:13:14.040 --> 00:13:15.270
"I'm going to let you see this."

289
00:13:15.270 --> 00:13:17.520
So for some reason,
she took with umbrage with you

290
00:13:17.520 --> 00:06:21.540
to that degree that she did a massive dump
in protest.

291
00:06:21.540 --> 00:06:25.560
And when I do it, it's wrong.

292
00:13:25.540 --> 00:13:28.940
On the other hand, I know exactly how my resignation
from the show is going to go,

293
00:13:28.940 --> 00:13:30.730
should it ever happen.

294
00:13:30.730 --> 00:13:34.680
So, yes, what happened to most of the specimens?
Where did they end up?

295
00:13:34.680 --> 00:13:35.680
Museums!

296
00:13:35.680 --> 00:13:38.460
Yes, absolutely right. What happened to most
of the cats?

297
00:13:38.460 --> 00:13:39.860
Mew-seums.

298
00:13:45.100 --> 00:13:48.160
Shot, sadly. But there was a…

299
00:13:48.160 --> 00:13:51.820
Oh, I like this one when it ends on dead cats.
It's always good fun isn't it?

300
00:13:51.820 --> 00:13:53.800
And that's the end of the show!

301
00:13:53.800 --> 00:13:56.670
It's not ending on that.
There was a recommendation sent out.

302
00:13:56.670 --> 00:13:58.350
What should lighthouse keepers not do?

303
00:13:58.350 --> 00:13:59.850
Have cats to shoot in the first place!

304
00:13:59.850 --> 00:14:02.990
Yes. It was recommend that
they not introduce pests.

305
00:14:02.990 --> 00:14:06.720
So the last question, who was Lyall?

306
00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:10.480
Who were they named after?
Lyall's wren, Traversia lyalli?

307
00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:12.440
Was he the lighthouse keeper?

308
00:14:12.440 --> 00:14:13.700
Yes, he was!

309
00:14:13.980 --> 00:14:15.000
Hooray!

310
00:14:17.220 --> 00:14:22.380
So at the end of the show, congratulations,
Chris, you win this one.

311
00:14:23.780 --> 00:14:28.200
You win a stuffed toy inspired by the villain
from 'Nightmare on Elm Street'.

312
00:14:28.200 --> 00:14:29.600
It's a Teddy Krueger.

313
00:14:30.900 --> 00:14:32.610
With that, we say thank you to Chris Joel,

314
00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:34.720
to Gary Brannan,

315
00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:36.300
to Will Seaward.

316
00:14:36.580 --> 00:14:38.380
I've been Tom Scott
and we'll see you next time.

317
00:14:41.880 --> 00:04:55.040
Can I really go this time?

318
00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:57.240
Yes!