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Language: en

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This is the Technical Difficulties, we’re
playing ‘Citation Needed.’

2
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Joining me today, he reads books y’know,
it’s Chris Joel.

3
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“Hello, I’m Chris Joel,
Christ College Oxford,

4
00:00:09.130 --> 00:00:11.660
reading references to surfing in the early
King James Bible.”

5
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Everybody’s favourite Gary Brannan,
Gary Brannan.

6
00:00:14.950 --> 00:00:17.170
So, the vicar, with a sickly smile,
shook hands with the monkey

7
00:00:17.170 --> 00:00:18.840
and could never look a banana
in the face again.

8
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And the bounciest man on the internet,
Matt Gray.

9
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Hello, live studio audience!

10
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In front of me I’ve got an article from
Wikipedia and these folks can’t see it.

11
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Every fact they get right is
a point and a ding,

12
00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:38.400
and there's a special prize for particularly
good answers which is:

13
00:00:41.560 --> 00:00:44.949
And today we are talking about Jack Churchill.

14
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Is this the method by which one would raise
a wartime prime minister?

15
00:00:48.269 --> 00:00:51.020
I’m glad that’s the version of the verb
you went with there, Gary,

16
00:00:51.020 --> 00:00:52.891
that could’ve been a lot worse.

17
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I'll be honest, it was the flip of a coin
and I went with the clean one.

18
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The thought of Churchill being raised
ever so slightly.

19
00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:01.789
“Yes, you may check my undercarriage for
wear and tear.”

20
00:01:01.789 --> 00:01:04.280
No, it’s for when he needs to seem more
authoritative.

21
00:01:04.280 --> 00:01:06.890
“Oh s***, he’s a lot shorter than Stalin!”

22
00:01:09.160 --> 00:01:10.980
“We shall fight them on the beaches.”

23
00:01:10.980 --> 00:01:13.100
“In the fields.
And in the street.”

24
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- “Enough!”
- “And in the treetops.”

25
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I just like the idea that
Churchill is now just sat

26
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about 6ft above everyone else in a chair that
he can’t possibly get down from.

27
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At which point there’s a beeping noise and
Stalin comes in on a cherry picker.

28
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It explicitly says, at the end of this article,

29
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“Of no relation to Winston Churchill.”

30
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Well, there you go, that’s our first five
minutes completely redundant.

31
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Is it that nutter who tried to fight
World War 2 with a claymore?

32
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Episode over.

33
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Sorry guys.

34
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Goodnight, thank you very much for coming...

35
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You say episode over, but there is a heck
of a lot more to this story going on here.

36
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A claymore is a proximity triggered-

37
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No, it’s a hand-and-a-half Scottish sword.

38
00:01:55.979 --> 00:01:56.979
Oh, a sword?

39
00:01:56.980 --> 00:01:57.980
- Yes.
- Oh.

40
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I mean, a claymore is a mine as well, but
this is-

41
00:02:00.170 --> 00:02:01.590
Okay, a different type of claymore.

42
00:02:01.590 --> 00:02:03.369
Yes, as in “Scottish Clans-man!”

43
00:02:03.369 --> 00:02:08.119
“I will see off the entire continent”
and that was basically his remit.

44
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That was what he went into the war to do.

385
00:02:09.720 --> 00:02:10.720
Wow.

46
00:02:10.720 --> 00:02:13.020
Where do you think he was born?

47
00:02:13.020 --> 00:02:14.020
Not Scotland.

48
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Not Scotland, you’re absolutely right, he
was born in Ceylon.

49
00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:18.500
Okay, Sri Lanka.

50
00:02:18.500 --> 00:02:24.060
Actually, you say drafted, he joined of his
own accord in the 1920s.

51
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Mainly because there weren’t enough things
to cut up in Ceylon!

52
00:02:27.670 --> 00:02:30.550
Well, yes, he left the army in 1936.

53
00:02:30.550 --> 00:02:32.760
Because there was not enough fighting.

54
00:02:32.760 --> 00:02:35.830
He then worked as a few other things.

55
00:02:35.830 --> 00:02:37.080
What might that be?

56
00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:40.300
One is a phrase I wouldn’t associate with
the 1930s,

57
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of a job for a... a strapping young lad.

58
00:02:43.210 --> 00:02:44.210
- Chef.

59
00:02:44.210 --> 00:02:45.210
- IT technician.

60
00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:46.210
I was going to say…

61
00:02:46.210 --> 00:02:49.380
Operative of a mildly successful nail bar.

62
00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:54.840
“A little bit off the top? Right!”
"Whoa!"

63
00:02:55.360 --> 00:02:56.360
Male model.

64
00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:57.980
- Really?
- I can see that.

65
00:02:57.980 --> 00:03:01.020
He also used his archery and bagpipe talents

66
00:03:01.030 --> 00:03:04.510
to play a role in a film called
‘The Thief of Baghdad.’

67
00:03:04.510 --> 00:03:06.080
- Eh?
- With bagpipes?

68
00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:07.580
With bagpipes.

69
00:03:07.580 --> 00:03:09.020
‘The Bagpipes of Baghdad’?

70
00:03:09.020 --> 00:03:11.140
Was it really ‘The Thief of Bagpipes’?

71
00:03:11.140 --> 00:03:14.900
He won second place in the military piping
competition at Aldershot Tattoo.

72
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- But that was cake-making...
- Was that like cakes?

73
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Jinx!

74
00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:21.080
Are you going to ice a cake with bagpipes?

75
00:03:21.080 --> 00:03:25.120
Yes, you can do five bits at a time if you
blow hard enough.

76
00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:27.590
He also represented Britain at the
World Archery Championships.

77
00:03:27.590 --> 00:03:28.590
With the sword?

78
00:03:28.590 --> 00:03:30.570
Where he also used the bagpipes.

79
00:03:30.570 --> 00:03:32.680
No, this was a longbow.

80
00:03:32.680 --> 00:03:34.370
Of course, it would be.

81
00:03:34.370 --> 00:03:36.230
The Second World War breaks out…

82
00:03:36.230 --> 00:03:38.380
And he decides not to bring the longbow because
it’s impractical.

83
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Wrong.

84
00:03:39.380 --> 00:03:40.380
Really?

85
00:03:40.380 --> 00:03:41.520
He brought the longbow?

86
00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:42.760
“Hi, can I help?

87
00:03:42.760 --> 00:03:44.540
I’ve got one of these!”

88
00:03:45.760 --> 00:03:47.800
He really was going to party like it was 1399
wasn’t he?

89
00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:54.420
He was with the Manchester Regiment in France
and ambushed a German patrol.

90
00:03:54.430 --> 00:03:55.860
How did he give the signal to attack?

91
00:03:55.860 --> 00:03:58.410
Did he just scream and run?

92
00:03:58.410 --> 00:03:59.710
Not this time.

93
00:03:59.710 --> 00:04:03.930
I’m going to give you the point
because, yes,

94
00:04:03.930 --> 00:04:06.900
he did that plenty of other times but not
this specific time.

95
00:04:06.900 --> 00:04:08.990
He was in command of the troops,

96
00:04:08.990 --> 00:04:10.640
how did he give the signal to attack?

97
00:04:10.640 --> 00:04:12.740
Did he have his bagpipes with him?

98
00:04:12.740 --> 00:04:15.220
A quick parp on the high notes, yeah.

99
00:04:15.220 --> 00:04:16.780
With the drone beneath.

100
00:04:16.780 --> 00:04:19.389
That’s not the skill he used here.

101
00:04:19.389 --> 00:04:20.389
Flaming arrows!

102
00:04:20.389 --> 00:04:21.709
I’m going to give you the point,

103
00:04:21.709 --> 00:04:25.159
he killed an enemy sergeant with the longbow.

104
00:04:25.159 --> 00:04:26.979
Oh boy!

105
00:04:26.979 --> 00:04:29.470
Not with the arrow, with the bow.

106
00:04:29.470 --> 00:04:32.030
Yeah, with the stringy bit first.

107
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Like cheese wire.

108
00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:37.990
To use the technical term,
"the stringy bit of the bow".

109
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The last recorded person ever killed during
wartime with a longbow and arrow

110
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was that German sergeant.

111
00:04:44.229 --> 00:04:46.759
Now, I’ve just noticed something,

112
00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:49.490
this man seemed to have a penchant...
is that the word?

113
00:04:49.490 --> 00:04:51.710
For running into battle and screaming.

114
00:04:51.710 --> 00:04:54.259
He managed to go into several battles…

115
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Many battles.

116
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Without dying?

274
00:04:56.650 --> 00:04:57.650
Yes.

118
00:04:57.650 --> 00:04:59.980
Yeah, but with the longbow you are quite a
way back.

119
00:04:59.980 --> 00:05:04.520
Norway, 1941, landing craft on a raid on a
German garrison.

120
00:05:04.530 --> 00:05:07.289
I mean, paint me a picture.

121
00:05:07.289 --> 00:05:08.289
What…?

122
00:05:08.289 --> 00:05:09.960
I’m thinking night-time, I imagine.

123
00:05:09.960 --> 00:05:11.330
Now, you see,

124
00:05:11.330 --> 00:05:14.060
it’s the point of when he starts playing
the bagpipes.

125
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“Franz, vat is zat coming from over ze ocean?”

126
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Sorry, worst accent in the world there.

127
00:05:19.349 --> 00:05:21.740
And the wheel spins and lands on Norway!

128
00:05:21.740 --> 00:05:25.530
Would that be the Boulogne part of Norway
you’re doing there?

129
00:05:25.530 --> 00:05:28.770
Yes, it’s the German garrison out of France...

130
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Fair play.

131
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Would you do it over the ocean

132
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or would you wait until the landing craft
had silently approached the beach

133
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with the whistle of the wind through the trees

134
00:05:35.980 --> 00:05:38.320
as the clank of the metal as it hits the beach,
suddenly…

135
00:05:39.900 --> 00:05:40.999
You’re nearly right.

136
00:05:40.999 --> 00:05:44.620
Yes, he leapt forward from his position, 
playing on his bagpipes,

137
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before throwing a grenade
and running into battle.

138
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This man is a hero!

139
00:05:48.439 --> 00:05:50.419
Oh, if you’re going to do anything.

140
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Just the thought, just to be inside his head

141
00:05:51.970 --> 00:05:54.629
as he approached the beach with the bagpipe
ready to go

142
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and the grenade pin in his hand thinking,

143
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“Yeah, we’re going to do this.”

144
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Again!

145
00:05:59.330 --> 00:06:01.379
“This is my time”, for the fifteenth time.

146
00:06:01.379 --> 00:06:03.520
If that was me I’d pull the pin,
drop the bagpipe,

147
00:06:03.520 --> 00:06:07.159
and then there'd just be a parpy explosion.

148
00:06:07.159 --> 00:06:11.479
You say he threw a grenade, did it hit anything
or did he throw it by mistake?

149
00:06:11.479 --> 00:06:12.569
It’s not recorded here, I don’t know.

150
00:06:12.569 --> 00:06:14.120
What a hero.

151
00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:19.040
So we’ve had France, 1940, Norway, 1941,
where was he in 1943?

152
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Italy.

153
00:06:19.860 --> 00:06:20.880
Correct.

154
00:06:20.880 --> 00:06:22.960
He’s got some good airmiles hasn’t he?

155
00:06:22.960 --> 00:06:24.800
Did they drop him in?

156
00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:26.499
Not sure you get airmiles
on the army’s flights.

157
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I’ve seen a video of a bagpiper in a parachute.

158
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It was…

159
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That was so close.

160
00:06:32.400 --> 00:06:35.840
I’m going to drink that later, go on…

161
00:06:35.840 --> 00:06:37.139
It was in the ’70s.

162
00:06:37.140 --> 00:06:40.900
Basically the ‘One Show’ of the ’70s,
‘Nationwide’, did a segment,

163
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and I don’t know why because I’ve only
seen the clip itself.

164
00:06:44.090 --> 00:06:46.210
There’s a bagpiper, a low altitude plane,

165
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he’s got the parachute on one of those cords
that triggers it-

166
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Static lines.

167
00:06:50.060 --> 00:06:53.770
Jumps out, starts playing ‘Scotland the
Brave’ on the way down.

168
00:06:53.770 --> 00:06:55.889
It’s great because he gets in, he gets the
drone on...

169
00:06:55.889 --> 00:06:56.889
♪ Na na na-na na na na ♪

170
00:06:56.889 --> 00:06:57.889
But then it hits the ground.

171
00:06:57.889 --> 00:07:01.309
And he cannot do a landing and hold onto the
bagpipes at the same time.

172
00:07:01.309 --> 00:07:04.809
No he can't, you’ve got to flare, you’ve
got to pull down both straps and…

173
00:07:04.809 --> 00:07:06.909
If that’s the technical term, so be it.

174
00:07:06.909 --> 00:07:10.610
But all I heard was
♪ na na-na urrrk urrrrrrk ♪

175
00:07:10.610 --> 00:07:13.539
as he got dragged along
by the wind on the floor,

176
00:07:13.539 --> 00:07:15.759
the mournful parp of an emptying bagpipe.

177
00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:18.449
A mournful parp of a bagpipe!

178
00:07:18.449 --> 00:07:22.159
This, sadly, was not a parachute.

179
00:07:22.159 --> 00:07:23.639
This was a landing site.

180
00:07:23.639 --> 00:07:26.900
Was this, again, the same as Norway,
yet slightly sunnier?

181
00:07:26.900 --> 00:07:29.460
This was the same as Norway,
yet slightly more.

182
00:07:29.460 --> 00:07:30.460
Ohh…

183
00:07:30.460 --> 00:07:31.909
What hasn’t he used?

184
00:07:31.909 --> 00:07:34.180
Whoa, he has his bow as well?

185
00:07:34.180 --> 00:07:39.580
Yes, he had the broadsword, the longbow and
the bagpipes.

186
00:07:39.580 --> 00:07:40.960
And the grenade?

187
00:07:40.960 --> 00:07:42.599
It doesn’t say.

188
00:07:42.599 --> 00:07:45.330
He’s like the people
you get in computer games.

189
00:07:45.330 --> 00:07:47.640
“It’s funny because you could never carry
all of these!

190
00:07:47.640 --> 00:07:49.320
“How is he carrying all of these?

191
00:07:49.320 --> 00:07:50.780
“Where did he get that from?

192
00:07:50.780 --> 00:07:52.420
“He was holding a sword a minute ago!”

193
00:07:52.420 --> 00:07:54.480
And playing the bagpipes which, again,

194
00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:56.580
is a two-handed instrument, let’s not forget.

195
00:07:56.580 --> 00:07:59.420
How fantastic would it be if he just had a
batman though?

196
00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:04.749
Going back another 50 years where you’d
just have a gentleman’s gentleman with you

197
00:08:04.749 --> 00:08:05.880
and just take him on the battlefield,

198
00:08:05.880 --> 00:08:07.979
“Broadsword if you would, Jeeves.”

199
00:08:07.979 --> 00:08:08.979
“Yes, Sir.”

200
00:08:08.980 --> 00:08:12.480
“He’s a little way off. Longbow. Thank you.

201
00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:14.039
“No, nothing’s happening.

202
00:08:14.039 --> 00:08:16.210
“Bagpipes, we’ll sound some more.”

203
00:08:16.210 --> 00:08:18.380
“Number three wood for the grenade.”

204
00:08:20.160 --> 00:08:24.080
“Might I suggest the pitching wedge, Sir,
they’re awfully dug in.”

205
00:08:24.080 --> 00:08:26.260
Oh, I was thinking more cricket bat.

206
00:08:26.260 --> 00:08:27.860
Pitch her up. Thock!

207
00:08:28.860 --> 00:08:29.889
Going full zombie into battle!

208
00:08:29.889 --> 00:08:33.080
I seem to recall someone saying that the effective
range of a grenade

209
00:08:33.080 --> 00:08:34.820
is further than you can throw it.

210
00:08:34.820 --> 00:08:38.370
Right, so you do need something like a bat
behind it then?

211
00:08:38.370 --> 00:08:40.780
Or you need to chuck it into somewhere and
move out.

212
00:08:40.780 --> 00:08:43.080
- You’re chucking it, I’m running away.
- I’ve got the bagpipes.

213
00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:45.380
Do you want to bat a grenade?

214
00:08:45.380 --> 00:08:47.200
Yes, I reckon I would.

215
00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:48.530
“Oh... wait, no!”

216
00:08:48.530 --> 00:08:51.820
Extra second on the detonator just for the
pitch up.

217
00:08:51.820 --> 00:08:53.720
If you miss it you’re in trouble.

218
00:08:53.720 --> 00:08:57.650
Look, I didn’t say this wasn’t one for
the courageous soldier did I?

219
00:08:57.650 --> 00:09:00.430
He infiltrated the town…

220
00:09:00.430 --> 00:09:01.430
Playing the bagpipes.

221
00:09:01.430 --> 00:09:02.690
Not they, he.

222
00:09:02.690 --> 00:09:06.940
Hang on, infiltration and this man don’t
sound like words that go together.

223
00:09:06.940 --> 00:09:09.970
He was ordered to capture a
German observation post.

224
00:09:09.970 --> 00:09:11.410
How did that go?

225
00:09:11.410 --> 00:09:13.690
Er, surprisingly well?

226
00:09:13.690 --> 00:09:16.880
Yes, I’ll give you the point, he captured
42 prisoners.

227
00:09:16.880 --> 00:09:17.880
F***!

228
00:09:20.790 --> 00:09:22.620
No one tried to shoot the bagpipes?

229
00:09:22.620 --> 00:09:26.390
I’d be honest, it’s not the first thing
you’d- well, I don’t know.

230
00:09:26.390 --> 00:09:28.330
It depends how anti-bagpipe you are.

231
00:09:28.330 --> 00:09:31.300
If I was there that would be
the first thing I’d go for.

232
00:09:31.300 --> 00:09:32.631
You’ve got three bullets, what do you shoot?

233
00:09:32.740 --> 00:09:34.580
The bagpipes three times.

234
00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:38.200
I can just see the bullet going through and,

235
00:09:38.200 --> 00:09:39.820
“Ye shot my pipes.
Now I’m angry!”

236
00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:42.360
He wasn’t Scottish!

237
00:09:42.360 --> 00:09:44.290
I’m going to point this out.

238
00:09:44.290 --> 00:09:45.300
He wasn’t Scottish.

239
00:09:45.300 --> 00:09:47.320
Yeah, but they wouldn’t know that.

240
00:09:47.320 --> 00:04:56.650
He was captured-

274
00:04:56.650 --> 00:04:57.650
Yes.

242
00:09:49.940 --> 00:09:50.940
Was he?

243
00:09:50.940 --> 00:09:51.940
Do you know the story there?

244
00:09:51.940 --> 00:09:55.840
I can only presume that he was captured, 
went along willingly,

245
00:09:55.840 --> 00:09:59.570
beat all the guards at chess and poker,

246
00:09:59.570 --> 00:10:01.690
drank the camp commandant's rum,

247
00:10:01.690 --> 00:10:04.820
then dug his way out with his teeth while
the commandant was passed out,

248
00:10:04.820 --> 00:10:08.040
chewing on broken glass
and spitting it at guards

249
00:10:08.040 --> 00:10:12.370
before having relations with the entire
female population of the nearest town,

250
00:10:12.370 --> 00:10:16.070
lighting a cigarette on the ground,
not even using a match,

251
00:10:16.070 --> 00:10:19.230
flipping the V and then walking into camp
and saying,

252
00:10:19.230 --> 00:10:21.520
“What have you f***ers been doing?”

253
00:10:21.520 --> 00:10:22.520
Tom…

254
00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:29.970
Just as a guess(!)

255
00:10:29.970 --> 00:10:33.240
Tom, please ding,
for the love of God please ding.

256
00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:36.420
It’s not even close but I’m going to give
him a point for it.

257
00:10:37.640 --> 00:10:39.760
Crawled under the wire,
through an abandoned drain

258
00:10:39.760 --> 00:10:42.130
and tried to walk to the Baltic coast.

259
00:10:42.130 --> 00:10:44.620
Ended up being recaptured, escaped again,

260
00:10:44.620 --> 00:10:48.150
walked 93 miles to Verona in Italy and met
the Americans there.

261
00:10:48.150 --> 00:10:50.240
I bet they were delighted to see him(!)

262
00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:54.480
Then continued and went to Burma.

263
00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:56.080
Arriving in 1957.

264
00:10:57.280 --> 00:10:58.960
By the time he’d got there what had happened?

265
00:10:58.960 --> 00:10:59.960
Was the war over?

333
00:10:59.960 --> 00:11:00.960
Yes, absolutely right.

298
00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:01.960
Oh.

268
00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:03.620
That must’ve been very
disappointing for him.

269
00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:07.460
I’m going to quote here, “If it wasn’t
for those damn Yanks,

270
00:11:07.460 --> 00:11:10.220
“we could’ve kept the war going
another 10 years.”

271
00:11:14.800 --> 00:11:16.510
See what you did!

272
00:11:16.510 --> 00:11:19.280
You ruined that man’s 1940s.

273
00:11:19.280 --> 00:04:56.650
Wow, that is an insight
into his mind isn’t it?

274
00:04:56.650 --> 00:04:57.650
Yes.

275
00:11:23.780 --> 00:11:25.580
Hang on a minute,
I want to ask you a genuine question,

276
00:11:25.580 --> 00:11:27.510
what the frig did he do after the war?

277
00:11:27.510 --> 00:11:29.490
Because he is tooled up and angry.

278
00:11:29.490 --> 00:11:31.940
Him on the checkout in Sainsbury’s!

279
00:11:32.800 --> 00:11:35.320
No, he walked back from Burma to Korea.

280
00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:38.690
When that was over he walked to Vietnam.

281
00:11:38.690 --> 00:11:41.850
The answer is, and I’m giving you
a retroactive point here Gary…

282
00:11:41.850 --> 00:11:42.850
Oh, respective pointage!

283
00:11:42.850 --> 00:11:44.480
Because you’ve already said the word,

284
00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:46.050
what did he qualify as in the army?

285
00:11:47.400 --> 00:11:48.400
Supermarket...?

286
00:11:49.660 --> 00:11:51.220
I can’t remember what I said!

287
00:11:51.220 --> 00:11:53.020
“You are now a
professional supermarket, sir.

288
00:11:53.020 --> 00:11:54.020
“Well done.”

289
00:11:54.020 --> 00:11:55.090
Where did that come from?

290
00:11:55.090 --> 00:11:57.550
Because I think he said, “Imagine him in
the supermarket”

291
00:11:57.550 --> 00:11:58.940
and that’s all that was there,

292
00:11:58.940 --> 00:12:00.560
for that brief second, the word ‘supermarket’.

293
00:12:00.560 --> 00:12:04.080
Supermarket.
He became a Londis, that’s what happened.

294
00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:06.360
Pick a word, any word!

295
00:12:06.360 --> 00:12:11.300
He was pulling bottles of wine out from under
the kilt that he’s not wearing.

296
00:12:13.060 --> 00:12:14.900
Nail bar?!

297
00:12:14.900 --> 00:11:00.960
Parachutist.

298
00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:01.960
Oh.

299
00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:19.540
There are stories of him
assisting a medical convoy,

300
00:12:19.550 --> 00:12:22.970
coordinating evacuations,
all sorts of things like that,

301
00:12:22.970 --> 00:12:24.620
and then, coming back to England,

302
00:12:24.620 --> 00:12:28.370
went back and made
another appearance in a film.

303
00:12:28.370 --> 00:12:29.490
Was he in a Bond film?

304
00:12:29.490 --> 00:12:31.360
No, he was in ‘Ivanhoe’.

305
00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:33.010
What did he appear as?

306
00:12:33.010 --> 00:12:34.140
A bagpipe.

307
00:12:34.140 --> 00:12:35.140
Close.

308
00:12:35.140 --> 00:10:59.960
A longbowman.

333
00:10:59.960 --> 00:11:00.960
Yes, absolutely right.

310
00:12:37.900 --> 00:12:41.980
What skill did he pick up in late 1950s Australia?

311
00:12:41.980 --> 00:12:43.080
Boomerang wanging?

312
00:12:43.900 --> 00:12:45.200
No, no, no, because...

313
00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:47.300
Wanging being a very specific word there.

314
00:12:47.300 --> 00:12:51.090
I think that 'that action'
could conceivably be called a wang.

315
00:12:51.090 --> 00:12:52.720
Technically it’s 'boomerwanging'.

316
00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:54.760
No, a wang is underarm isn’t it?

317
00:12:54.760 --> 00:12:55.760
As in 'welly wanging'.

318
00:12:55.760 --> 00:12:56.760
Ah…

319
00:12:56.760 --> 00:12:59.350
Definition of the wang there everyone.

320
00:12:59.350 --> 00:13:01.970
The phrase 'welly wanging' was just lost on
half the audience.

321
00:13:01.970 --> 00:13:04.210
Gumboot throwing if you are
from the home counties.

322
00:13:04.210 --> 00:13:05.660
Don’t they have the word welly?

323
00:13:05.660 --> 00:13:07.020
I don’t know.

324
00:13:07.020 --> 00:13:09.120
It’s a wellington isn’t it?

325
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:10.760
As in, after Wellington,

326
00:13:10.760 --> 00:13:12.540
but it also brings me back to the excellently-named

327
00:13:12.540 --> 00:13:15.640
1980s computer company from Oxfordshire, Wang.

328
00:13:17.900 --> 00:13:20.600
Oxford United, in the 1980s, were sponsored
by Wang.

329
00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:23.230
So, on the front of their shirts, for years
and years,

330
00:13:23.230 --> 00:13:26.130
was the word Wang, repeatedly.

331
00:13:26.130 --> 00:13:29.970
Late 1950s Australia,
what was being developed there?

332
00:13:29.970 --> 00:10:59.960
Surfing.

333
00:10:59.960 --> 00:11:00.960
Yes, absolutely right.

334
00:13:33.670 --> 00:13:35.590
He became passionate and, I’m quoting here,

335
00:13:35.590 --> 00:13:36.980
“Passionate devotee of the surfboard,

336
00:13:36.980 --> 00:13:39.460
“one of the first people in Britain to surf.”

337
00:13:39.460 --> 00:13:43.030
And, specifically, one of the first people
in Britain to surf what?

338
00:13:43.030 --> 00:13:44.030
Severn Bore.

339
00:13:44.030 --> 00:13:45.520
Point, you’re absolutely right.

340
00:13:45.520 --> 00:13:47.220
That’s the tidal river thing isn’t it?

341
00:13:47.232 --> 00:13:48.232
Yes, the tidal surge.

342
00:13:48.232 --> 00:13:50.470
Yes, there is a single tidal wave

343
00:13:50.470 --> 00:13:53.690
that on particularly strong tides rolls up
the River Severn.

344
00:13:53.690 --> 00:13:57.730
And nowadays it’s filled with surfers and
boats and drones flying overhead.

345
00:13:57.730 --> 00:14:00.010
It was just this guy on a surfboard.

346
00:14:00.010 --> 00:14:02.200
One pissed off guy from Ceylon,
playing the bagpipes,

347
00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:03.810
swinging a claymore round his head,

348
00:14:03.810 --> 00:14:05.840
having finally conquered another element.

349
00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:11.000
Imagine opening your curtains and…

350
00:14:12.220 --> 00:14:14.160
“Can you hear bagpipes?”
“I can’t hear bagpipes.”

351
00:14:14.180 --> 00:14:17.260
“That’s completely impossible by this
placid River Severn

352
00:14:17.260 --> 00:14:19.760
“with the occasional... oh, sweet Georgia.”

353
00:14:20.580 --> 00:14:21.700
“Daaaaagh!

354
00:14:21.700 --> 00:14:24.780
“Bristol, you’re mine!”

355
00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:27.540
Did he end up declaring war on himself?

356
00:14:30.300 --> 00:14:32.080
In retirement, it says, his-

357
00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:33.180
Retirement!

358
00:14:33.180 --> 00:14:34.500
As if he’s going to retire!

359
00:14:34.500 --> 00:14:36.230
How is this man going to retire?

360
00:14:36.230 --> 00:14:37.900
“…his eccentricity continued.”

361
00:14:37.900 --> 00:14:38.900
No way!

362
00:14:38.900 --> 00:14:41.410
You’d have thought he’d have settled down.

363
00:14:41.410 --> 00:14:43.330
People, when they hit their retirement, they’re
usually so placid.

364
00:14:43.330 --> 00:14:45.080
I’ve seen ‘Last of the Summer-’

365
00:14:45.080 --> 00:14:47.480
Was he doing ‘Last of the Summer Wine’
only with claymores?

366
00:14:47.800 --> 00:14:48.840
Bathtub.

367
00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:50.140
“Aaaagh!”

368
00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:52.760
He startled train conductors and passengers-

369
00:14:52.760 --> 00:14:54.000
How?

370
00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:58.530
By throwing his briefcase out of the train
window each day on the ride home.

371
00:14:58.530 --> 00:14:59.530
Why?

372
00:14:59.530 --> 00:15:01.970
Did he try and get it in
one of the Post Office nets

373
00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:04.290
for the Travelling Post Offices?

374
00:15:04.290 --> 00:15:05.380
The what?

375
00:15:05.380 --> 00:15:07.780
The way they used to pick up mail
in ye olden days,

376
00:15:07.780 --> 00:15:11.050
not the olden days but the days of Travelling
Post Offices,

377
00:15:11.050 --> 00:15:13.300
you would have a hook
by the side of the railway line.

378
00:15:13.300 --> 00:15:14.930
They would dangle a bag full of mail,

379
00:15:14.930 --> 00:15:17.380
at which point the carriage
would come towards it,

380
00:15:17.380 --> 00:15:20.930
it had a bit of sticky out net that would
be dropped out at exactly the right moment,

381
00:15:20.930 --> 00:15:23.770
would hit the hook, the mail bag would drop
into the net

382
00:15:23.770 --> 00:15:25.300
and be sprung into the carriage,

383
00:15:25.300 --> 00:15:28.160
at which time another hook would be slung
out from the train

384
00:15:28.160 --> 00:02:09.720
with another bag of mail that would be dropped
in the same location, like that.

385
00:02:09.720 --> 00:02:10.720
Wow.

386
00:15:32.380 --> 00:15:34.330
Precise timing and speed and location.

387
00:15:34.330 --> 00:15:37.120
In such a way that they don’t have to stop
to pick up the mail and drop the mail.

388
00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:39.360
- Exactly, it just goes.
- The train goes…

389
00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:41.540
And then the post has happened!

390
00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:44.860
And then the letters be(!)

391
00:15:44.860 --> 00:15:47.280
This is the night mail, crossing the border...!

392
00:15:48.820 --> 00:15:50.520
Well, that’s the noise of it isn’t it?

393
00:15:52.580 --> 00:15:54.200
And suddenly, bag.

394
00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:57.690
And in this case, briefcase and claymore,

395
00:15:57.690 --> 00:15:59.020
and angry man from Ceylon.

396
00:15:59.800 --> 00:16:01.740
He wasn’t trying to get it on the mail pole.

397
00:16:01.740 --> 00:16:03.060
He was aiming for a specific target.

398
00:16:03.060 --> 00:16:04.060
His garden?

399
00:16:05.400 --> 00:16:08.040
Oh, that is amazing.

400
00:16:08.040 --> 00:16:10.380
I want to do that on the way home.

401
00:16:10.390 --> 00:16:12.720
It doesn’t quite work in the tube but…

402
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:14.040
I was going to say.

403
00:16:14.040 --> 00:16:17.280
I was going to say, which really sucked when
he moved to London.

404
00:16:20.340 --> 00:16:21.820
He lived to the age of 90.

405
00:16:21.820 --> 00:16:24.240
I’m not surprised, who could kill him?

406
00:16:24.250 --> 00:16:25.740
Death just walked away.

407
00:16:25.740 --> 00:16:27.590
He died in 1996

408
00:16:27.590 --> 00:16:31.400
and was later named one of the finest explorers
and adventurers of all time.

409
00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:34.570
By himself.

410
00:16:34.570 --> 00:16:37.100
By the Royal Norwegian Explorers Club.

411
00:16:37.100 --> 00:16:40.300
At the end of the show, congratulations Chris,

412
00:16:40.300 --> 00:16:42.190
you obviously win this one, for the...

413
00:16:42.190 --> 00:16:43.760
Yes, you won this one 30 seconds in.

414
00:16:43.760 --> 00:16:45.890
“Is that the madman with the claymore?”

415
00:16:45.890 --> 00:16:48.020
Yes, yes it is, that’s absolutely right.

416
00:16:48.020 --> 00:16:50.380
I’m going to say that’s up there as a
record, it really is.

417
00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:55.970
Congratulations, you win two words mixed together

418
00:16:55.970 --> 00:16:58.860
by the actor who played Padme
in the ‘Star Wars’ prequels.

419
00:16:58.860 --> 00:16:59.860
No!

420
00:16:59.860 --> 00:17:01.340
It’s a 'Natalie Portmanteau'.

421
00:17:02.220 --> 00:17:03.460
I like that.

422
00:17:03.470 --> 00:17:05.290
With that we say thank you to Chris Joel.

423
00:17:05.290 --> 00:17:06.220
Thank you.

424
00:17:06.220 --> 00:17:07.460
To Gary Brannan.

425
00:17:08.520 --> 00:17:09.660
To Matt Gray.

426
00:17:11.020 --> 00:17:13.720
I’ve been Tom Scott and we’ll see you
next time.