WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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This is the Technical Difficulties, we're
playing Citation Needed.

2
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Joining me today, he reads books you know,
it's Chris Joel!

3
00:00:05.330 --> 00:00:06.080
Hello!

4
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Everybody's favourite Gary Brannan,
Gary Brannan!

5
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Yes, I did order a Crunch Corner,
but not that crunchy.

6
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And the bounciest man on the internet,
Matt Gray!

7
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Izzy. Whizzy. Let's get... busy!

8
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In front of me I've got an article from Wikipedia,
and these folks can't see it.

9
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Every fact they get right is a point and a
ding [DING]

10
00:00:25.439 --> 00:00:28.239
and there's a special prize for particularly
good answers, which is...

11
00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:34.360
And today we are talking about Camp Bonifas.

12
00:00:34.360 --> 00:00:35.970
Is that like a smiley Guantanamo?

13
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-- Camp Bonny-face!
-- Bonny-face. I mean...

14
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I mean, I'm giving you a vague point,

15
00:00:44.620 --> 00:00:48.380
because it's a United Nations Command
military post. [DING]

16
00:00:48.390 --> 00:00:52.270
So it's not the US, but it is 'camp' in the
sense of military post,

17
00:00:52.270 --> 00:00:53.700
so I will give you the point.

18
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Camp in what other sense?! Ooh!

19
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In the sense of a place you go
to camp with a tent!

20
00:01:00.190 --> 00:01:02.730
-- What, you mean...
-- "Look at his camp bonny face!"

21
00:01:02.730 --> 00:01:08.249
-- Actually, given that 'bona' is actually Polari...
-- Oh, it is!

22
00:01:08.249 --> 00:01:10.079
That's not actually all that wrong.

23
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Yeah. Polari being the language of gay men
in the 1950s and 60s,

24
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descended from carnival speak. So, if you
hear Kenneth Williams --

25
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Julian and Sandy -- you know, "vada your eek"
means "he's got quite a nice face".

26
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Stuff like that. It's how gay men would talk
to each other,

27
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so that the police and other people couldn't
hear them,

28
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'cos obviously homosexuality was entirely
illegal.

29
00:01:28.499 --> 00:01:30.329
Oh! And it's a star as well, isn't it?

30
00:01:30.329 --> 00:01:34.480
Polari... that's Polaris. That's something
else. That's not quite...

31
00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:37.640
Actually, loads of Polari has made it into
regular English.

32
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Looking through... barney, having a barney,
having a fight with someone, is in there.

33
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What else have we got in there?

34
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To zhoozh up, a zhoozhing bag, is to do your hair
and have a handbag, or something like that.

35
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-- And naff.
-- Naff! As terrible.

36
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Basically, as with so many things, the rest
of Britain just went:

37
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"we'll have some of that".

38
00:01:54.950 --> 00:01:57.590
Bringing this all back: Camp Bonny-face...

39
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Derailed that one!

40
00:02:00.500 --> 00:02:05.179
...does not... and it's Bonifas! ... does
not mean just someone with a nice face, sadly.

41
00:02:05.179 --> 00:02:08.200
Why is it, when you say
"United Nations Command Centre",

42
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I immediately think "damn, that's exciting!"

43
00:02:10.129 --> 00:02:11.689
It'd just be lots of...

44
00:02:11.689 --> 00:02:14.299
That's because you grew up on Gerry Anderson
and Thunderbirds!

45
00:02:14.299 --> 00:02:18.819
Anything! United Nations Command Centre!
Nah, it's lots of dull men looking at laptops.

46
00:02:18.819 --> 00:02:21.790
-- It's four men with laptops in a hotel room.
-- Yeah.

47
00:02:21.790 --> 00:02:25.000
We're not in a hotel room here.
Definitely not in a hotel room.

48
00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.120
-- It's an actual camp.
-- Is it an actual camp?

49
00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:29.269
It's an actual camp, in the sense of military
encampment.

50
00:02:29.269 --> 00:02:31.750
-- Europe?
-- Oh, definitely not.

51
00:02:31.750 --> 00:02:33.220
-- America?
-- Also no.

52
00:02:33.220 --> 00:02:35.240
-- Middle East!
-- No, you're all wrong...

53
00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:37.310
-- Something Spanish-y!
-- United Nations.

54
00:02:37.310 --> 00:02:39.569
-- Arctic! Antarctic!
-- No...

55
00:02:39.569 --> 00:02:40.340
So not something Spanish-ish?

56
00:02:40.340 --> 00:02:43.459
No. You've listed most of the
regions of the world,

57
00:02:43.459 --> 00:02:45.639
I think you've missed
three continents so far...

58
00:02:45.639 --> 00:02:46.819
-- Africa!
-- Two continents remaining.

59
00:02:46.819 --> 00:02:47.760
-- Australia!
-- One continent remaining.

60
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-- Asia!
-- There we go! [DING]

61
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Literally the last continent to be named.

62
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It's not 'cos we didn't like you, we're just
saving you for last.

63
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That's a terrible chat-up line, Gary.

64
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Worked for me(!)

65
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Do you want that on the
cutting room floor or not?

66
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It reflects worse on me than...

67
00:03:09.189 --> 00:03:13.129
So where is there going to be a United Nations
Command Post in Asia?

68
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-- Is it Korea?
-- Yes! [DING] You're absolutely right.

69
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And I'm going to ask a loaded question here,
so have a point,

70
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Which one?

71
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The bottom one!

72
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Can I say neither?

73
00:03:22.370 --> 00:03:24.379
Gary gets the point there. [DING]

74
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Is it the one that's on the border?

75
00:03:25.940 --> 00:03:31.020
Yes it is! Well, it was. It's now become various
other things,

76
00:03:31.030 --> 00:03:34.000
but yes, this was the United Nations Command
military post

77
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400 metres south of the southern boundary
of the Korean DMZ.

78
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Right. 'Cos that's the one where you have
North Korean soldiers on one side of the room

79
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staring at South Korean soldiers on the other
side of the room

80
00:03:44.549 --> 00:03:46.189
-- and they never communicate.
-- And never the twain shall meet.

81
00:03:46.189 --> 00:03:48.739
Are they being that person in the fight going
"ey! ey!"

82
00:03:48.739 --> 00:03:50.810
and holding the other two back?

83
00:03:50.810 --> 00:03:53.170
Essentially, yes. That was part of their job.

84
00:03:53.170 --> 00:03:56.489
It was returned to being Korean territory in 2006,

85
00:03:56.489 --> 00:04:01.650
but yes, this was for many, many years the
home to the batallion

86
00:04:01.650 --> 00:04:05.030
who oversaw the armistice agreement.

87
00:04:05.030 --> 00:04:09.230
So what can you find there?
What could you find there?

88
00:04:09.230 --> 00:04:14.219
Portakabins, wasn't it? It was just like school
classrooms that were effectively --

89
00:04:14.219 --> 00:04:17.859
that was the channel you would go through
for whatever immigration was.

90
00:04:17.859 --> 00:04:19.840
Yeah, I'll give you a point. [DING] Small
collection of buildings,

91
00:04:19.840 --> 00:04:22.810
surrounded by triple coils of razor wire.

92
00:04:22.810 --> 00:04:24.330
Oh, that's not good.

93
00:04:24.330 --> 00:04:28.230
"It would look like a big Boy Scout camp if
it wasn't for..."

94
00:04:28.230 --> 00:04:30.729
-- Goofball surgeons!
-- The guns!

95
00:04:30.729 --> 00:04:33.130
-- All the Korean men with guns!
-- The bibimbap!

96
00:04:33.130 --> 00:04:35.150
-- All the land mines.
-- Point! [DING]

97
00:04:37.319 --> 00:04:40.970
If it wasn't for the land mines
that surrounded it, yes.

98
00:04:40.970 --> 00:04:44.069
Can I just point out: must've not been on
a Yorkshire Scout camp.

99
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Were you a Scout?

100
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Yes I was a Scout! I was a Beaver, I was a
Cub, I was a Scout.

101
00:04:50.050 --> 00:04:52.590
And I was in the St John's Ambulance as well.
Yeah.

102
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I did most of the full thing, apart from becoming
a Venture Scout.

103
00:04:54.930 --> 00:04:56.810
Did you hurt yourself? Is that how you got
in the Ambulance?

104
00:04:56.810 --> 00:05:00.289
No, no! My Scout troop
had so few Scouts in it

105
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after spending weeks where we
built an Airfix kit, shelled a crab...

106
00:05:06.100 --> 00:05:09.220
What, artillery shelled a crab?

107
00:05:09.220 --> 00:05:11.600
Yeah, there's just one crab
in the middle of...

108
00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:15.000
"Bollocks to that!"

109
00:05:16.060 --> 00:05:19.340
It was a lad called John Crabbe, actually.

110
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We built a small balloon as well one night
out of tissue paper,

111
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with a little basket underneath with paraffin,

112
00:05:25.509 --> 00:05:29.139
that raced to the roof
and then it set on fire.

113
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And that's how I learned how to use a CO2
fire extinguisher!

114
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You see, that's a useful skill!

115
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I think I learned more off that than tying
f***ing knots,

116
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I'm going to be honest with you!

117
00:05:37.220 --> 00:05:38.949
And then one night we tried cooking on a cooker,

118
00:05:38.949 --> 00:05:40.770
one of those little paraffin cookers,

119
00:05:40.770 --> 00:05:43.580
and it just leaked everywhere and set the
place on fire.

120
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-- Again!
-- There's a pattern here.

121
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Shut down shortly afterwards, what can I say?

122
00:05:46.919 --> 00:05:48.639
And you were a Scout, weren't you?

123
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I was a Scout, your Scouts were s***.

124
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-- You were a proper Scout.
-- I was, yeah.

125
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We used to go and build zip lines in the woods

126
00:05:54.740 --> 00:05:56.900
and go off camping on our own.

127
00:05:56.900 --> 00:06:00.900
Yeah, maybe so, but did you ever win
the Scout Eurovision?

128
00:06:00.900 --> 00:06:02.460
No, thank god, we never entered!

129
00:06:02.470 --> 00:06:06.190
Basically, adorable kids singing adorable
songs in adorable costumes. I did...

130
00:06:06.190 --> 00:06:07.919
You had a very different Scouting experience!

131
00:06:07.919 --> 00:06:09.520
Well, we went Scouting instead!

132
00:06:09.520 --> 00:06:12.860
Yeah, we didn't. See, you did things with
wood and axes...

133
00:06:12.860 --> 00:06:15.960
Wood and mountains and axes and fires!

134
00:06:15.960 --> 00:06:18.800
I sang the solo in "My Mummy Is One In A Million".

135
00:06:20.380 --> 00:06:22.539
Actually, to be fair, by the time I actually
got to Scouts

136
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the first two years were spent fighting. Literally,

137
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two hours a week, go down, have a rumble,
then eventually we changed leaders!

138
00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:33.860
We did so some... we did do that one where
you fill a boxing glove with sand,

139
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tie it to a rope, and spin it round, you've
got to jump over it.

140
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"That one"!

141
00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:40.500
D'you ever play Barrels?

142
00:06:40.500 --> 00:06:41.990
I don't... which one's Barrels?

143
00:06:41.990 --> 00:06:44.180
Barrels is three water barrels in the middle
of a room...

144
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Oh f***.

145
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Full, if you're feeling particularly vindictive,

146
00:06:47.289 --> 00:06:51.270
then the whole troop joins together in a circle.
Give us your arm.

147
00:06:51.270 --> 00:02:18.819
-- This one or that one?
-- Like that.

148
00:02:18.819 --> 00:06:54.749
-- Like that.
-- Yeah.

149
00:06:54.749 --> 00:06:57.449
-- And then you run in a circle...
-- Oh god.

150
00:06:57.449 --> 00:07:01.060
And if you let go, or if you hit the barrels,
you're out.

151
00:07:01.060 --> 00:07:04.169
Naturally, this eventually leads to some of
the 11-year-olds

152
00:07:04.169 --> 00:07:07.270
being put between two 16-year-olds and smashed
into the barrels!

153
00:07:07.270 --> 00:07:10.250
Although, I've said the boxing glove one,
I've just remembered now,

154
00:07:10.250 --> 00:07:12.490
one week we did replace
the boxing glove with an axe.

155
00:07:12.490 --> 00:07:14.430
Nice! That's more the level we're at!

156
00:07:14.430 --> 00:07:16.090
That's more your level of Scouting.

157
00:07:16.090 --> 00:07:20.509
I will make the point: South Yorkshire Scouts,
West Yorkshire Scouts.

158
00:07:22.200 --> 00:07:24.380
Whereas I had a Commodore 64.

159
00:07:24.389 --> 00:07:25.940
Yeah, I did not do any...

160
00:07:25.940 --> 00:07:28.099
I thought you were going to say you were in
the Navy!

161
00:07:28.099 --> 00:07:30.250
"Whereas I was in the Navy!"

162
00:07:30.250 --> 00:07:32.139
"Where I had a Commodore!"

163
00:07:35.340 --> 00:07:38.200
-- So yes.
-- What were we talking about?

164
00:07:38.210 --> 00:07:41.770
Camp Bonifas! Which would look like a big
Boy Scout camp...

165
00:07:41.770 --> 00:07:44.050
Would look like a South Yorkshire
Boy Scout camp...

166
00:07:45.419 --> 00:07:49.220
Actually, yeah, we did use to have a load
of old ammunition tins.

167
00:07:49.220 --> 00:07:51.169
Some of 'em still with ammunition in, but...

168
00:07:51.169 --> 00:07:53.069
So there was one other thing you'd find there.

169
00:07:53.069 --> 00:07:58.530
The kind of thing you would find if you had,
say, some bored commanders

170
00:07:58.530 --> 00:08:01.439
who were all used to doing a certain thing
with each other.

171
00:08:01.440 --> 00:08:02.600
Pornography.

172
00:08:02.600 --> 00:08:03.130
No.

173
00:08:03.140 --> 00:08:04.080
A steam room!

174
00:08:04.090 --> 00:08:04.870
Oh, definitely not.

175
00:08:04.870 --> 00:08:05.840
Battleships! The board game.

176
00:08:05.840 --> 00:08:07.159
It's certainly a game.

177
00:08:07.159 --> 00:08:08.470
Actual battleships!

178
00:08:08.470 --> 00:08:11.250
Not in the DMZ?
It's a little bit to the side there.

179
00:08:11.250 --> 00:08:12.340
Golf!

261
00:08:12.349 --> 00:08:13.409
Point. [DING]

181
00:08:13.409 --> 00:08:17.659
What was called "the most dangerous
hole in golf",

182
00:08:17.659 --> 00:08:20.360
a 3-par, one-hole golf course.

183
00:08:21.640 --> 00:08:23.159
It's got an astroturf green...

184
00:08:23.159 --> 00:08:24.610
...and land mines!

185
00:08:24.610 --> 00:08:27.650
And surrounded on
three sides by minefields, yes!

186
00:08:27.650 --> 00:08:31.130
"Mulligan!" "No mulligans in this game, go
out and get it!"

187
00:08:31.130 --> 00:08:32.940
"There's the map, good luck!"

188
00:08:32.940 --> 00:08:36.460
Allegedly one tee shot did actually set off
a land mine.

189
00:08:36.460 --> 00:08:38.020
Oh, brilliant!

190
00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:39.200
"It's in the rough!"

191
00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:41.010
Yeah, you would actually
enjoy that, wouldn't you?

192
00:08:41.010 --> 00:08:42.349
That'd be such a great stress relief.

193
00:08:42.349 --> 00:08:45.940
Well, it's a tee shot, it's got a bit of distance
on it, it's fine!

194
00:08:45.940 --> 00:08:49.649
If you're, like, what, three par? So there's
a good walk there for a start.

195
00:08:49.649 --> 00:08:51.850
That land mine going off in the distance'll
look f***ing brilliant!

196
00:08:51.850 --> 00:08:55.010
You just get a low golf clap from the distance.

197
00:08:55.010 --> 00:08:59.310
Oh, now that's definitely not what happened
at one point.

198
00:08:59.310 --> 00:09:03.930
Because the name of Camp Bonifas, it was originally
Camp Kitty Hawk.

199
00:09:03.930 --> 00:09:06.930
What happened... I mean, the name of it kind
of gives it away,

200
00:09:06.930 --> 00:09:10.230
this is the Axe Murder incident. Now obviously...

201
00:09:10.230 --> 00:09:11.310
What happened?

202
00:09:12.160 --> 00:09:16.780
I'm not giving you a point for successfully
guessing that there was an axe murder.

203
00:09:16.790 --> 00:09:19.720
But what happened in the DMZ?

204
00:09:19.720 --> 00:09:22.620
Did someone wander into the DMZ by accident?

205
00:09:22.620 --> 00:09:24.060
-- Not by accident.
-- On purpose?

206
00:09:24.060 --> 00:09:27.920
You wouldn't need the axes, would you, 'cos
you've got land mines for that business.

207
00:09:27.920 --> 00:09:30.630
Did the person that was wandering
have the axe?

208
00:09:30.630 --> 00:09:34.350
They had an axe. Why would you go into the
DMZ with an axe?

209
00:09:34.350 --> 00:09:37.490
-- Cut a tree down!
-- Point! [DING] Absolutely right.

210
00:09:37.490 --> 00:09:40.260
-- Some of the southern side...
-- This is starting to ring a bell now.

211
00:09:40.260 --> 00:09:43.500
Can't think why, but it is.

212
00:09:43.500 --> 00:09:47.170
Some folks from the southern side went in
to cut down a poplar tree

213
00:09:47.170 --> 00:09:50.350
that was blocking the UN observers.

214
00:09:50.350 --> 00:09:53.390
The North Koreans promptly arrived with axes
of their own

215
00:09:53.390 --> 00:09:57.310
and the tree was not being chopped down any
more, and...

216
00:09:57.310 --> 00:09:58.910
One of the people killed was called Bonifas,

217
00:09:58.910 --> 00:10:01.160
that's where the name of the camp came from.

218
00:10:01.160 --> 00:10:03.500
Three days later, American - South Korean
forces,

219
00:10:03.500 --> 00:10:07.310
they launched an operation to cut down the
tree with a show of force.

220
00:10:07.310 --> 00:10:09.240
What did they call that operation? Name...

221
00:10:09.250 --> 00:10:10.240
Thor!

222
00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:13.019
Legendary American who cut down trees.

223
00:10:13.019 --> 00:10:14.239
Washing...ton...?

224
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:16.080
No... oh, that's chopping down cherry trees.

225
00:10:16.089 --> 00:10:18.240
Is it the person with the stupid hat?

226
00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:20.990
-- Davy Crockett?
-- No, he planted trees!

227
00:10:20.990 --> 00:10:23.399
That was Johnny Appleseed!

228
00:10:23.399 --> 00:10:26.829
We've named every tree-related American here
and we haven't quite worked....

229
00:10:26.829 --> 00:10:29.360
Americans in the comments will be screaming
at you at this point!

230
00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:31.920
We don't know! We're not from there!

231
00:10:31.920 --> 00:10:34.670
Famous giant lumberjack, American folklore...

232
00:10:34.670 --> 00:10:36.740
Paul Bunyan.

233
00:10:36.740 --> 00:10:38.139
-- Never heard that.
-- Never heard of it!

234
00:10:38.139 --> 00:10:39.769
-- Never heard those words before.
-- Wow, okay!

235
00:10:39.769 --> 00:10:42.560
I've heard the word Paul, and I've heard the
word "bunion", but I've never used...

236
00:10:42.560 --> 00:10:45.899
-- Only in the sense of something on your foot!
-- Yeah!

237
00:10:45.899 --> 00:10:47.950
Americans, we don't know about Paul Bunyan,

238
00:10:47.950 --> 00:10:50.399
in the same way that you don't know about
Michael Barrymore. All right?

239
00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:53.589
That's not really the same way, I'll be honest.

240
00:10:53.589 --> 00:10:55.100
Different order of magnitude there.

241
00:10:55.100 --> 00:10:55.600
Different order of magnitude.

242
00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:56.860
-- More Finn McCool.
-- Oh, yes!

243
00:10:56.860 --> 00:10:58.589
Yes, we've talked about that before.

244
00:10:58.589 --> 00:11:00.029
More Finn McCool. Yeah, okay.

245
00:11:00.029 --> 00:11:02.630
Actually, that's a really good... Michael
Barrymore is not...

246
00:11:02.630 --> 00:11:05.060
I think you'll find he was a giant of light
entertainment, though.

247
00:11:05.060 --> 00:11:06.339
What, Finn McCool?!

248
00:11:06.339 --> 00:11:07.620
Yeah! Saturday nights.

249
00:11:07.620 --> 00:11:09.600
"Appearing up on the rocks tonight!"

250
00:11:13.410 --> 00:11:16.630
So what is at the DMZ now?

251
00:11:16.630 --> 00:11:18.420
A tree with a hole in the bottom of it!

252
00:11:18.420 --> 00:11:20.630
The tree is gone. The tree is gone.

253
00:11:20.630 --> 00:11:22.639
At least they won their cause(!)

254
00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:25.490
Yeah, they did!
And North Korea accepted that, yes,

255
00:11:25.490 --> 00:11:27.860
"yes, okay, we probably shouldn't
have done that,

256
00:11:27.860 --> 00:11:31.200
"yes, you've just sent in a lot of soldiers
to chop down that tree,

257
00:11:31.200 --> 00:11:32.940
"haven't you? Okay, yes."

258
00:11:32.940 --> 00:11:35.260
"Have the tree! Have several!"

259
00:11:35.269 --> 00:11:38.660
I don't... a plaque or something like that?

260
00:11:38.660 --> 00:08:12.349
Tourists!

261
00:08:12.349 --> 00:08:13.409
Point. [DING]

262
00:11:40.580 --> 00:11:41.800
That's the bit you can
go and visit, isn't it?

263
00:11:41.810 --> 00:11:44.160
You can actually go in a bit further now,

264
00:11:44.160 --> 00:11:45.420
if you actually get permission to go in,

265
00:11:45.420 --> 00:11:48.260
you can get to the crossing point,

266
00:11:48.260 --> 00:11:50.870
you can technically enter North Korea briefly.

267
00:11:50.870 --> 00:11:53.730
There are even tour companies that do things,

268
00:11:53.730 --> 00:11:56.980
but you have to pay a
naughty government some money.

269
00:11:56.980 --> 00:11:59.800
Yes, it is possible to get to the DMZ if you're
a tourist

270
00:11:59.800 --> 00:12:03.260
with a lot of permissions and a lot of papers
signed now.

271
00:12:03.260 --> 00:12:06.630
Which is closer than Camp Bonifas ever was.

272
00:12:06.630 --> 00:12:08.570
The camp itself has been handed back to Korea.

273
00:12:08.570 --> 00:12:12.410
But they have the Korean version of
Buckingham Palace guards!

274
00:12:12.410 --> 00:12:15.440
-- Yes they do.
-- They're just two men standing there,

275
00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:16.690
one of whom's fine with you being there,

276
00:12:16.690 --> 00:12:19.180
the other who deletes the photos off your
camera.

277
00:12:19.180 --> 00:12:21.940
-- One tells the truth, and one always lies.
-- I was going to say!

278
00:12:21.940 --> 00:12:24.900
And one shoots people who ask awkward questions.

279
00:12:24.910 --> 00:12:27.959
Why don't more borders work like that?

280
00:12:27.959 --> 00:12:31.639
In the "one tells the truth,
the other only lies" fashion?

281
00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:33.010
Because everybody's seen Labyrinth!

282
00:12:33.010 --> 00:12:35.370
It'd be pointless! Everybody knows the answer!

283
00:12:35.370 --> 00:12:39.490
But that's fine! That's a lovely system to
filter who comes in and out of your country!

284
00:12:39.490 --> 00:12:41.459
If you've seen David Bowie's bulge you're
allowed in.

285
00:12:41.460 --> 00:12:44.240
I knew it! I knew we were headed for David
Bowie's bulge.

286
00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:46.631
It had to happen, didn't it?

287
00:12:46.640 --> 00:12:48.820
I'm going to say this: you deserve it, if
you've sat through that.

288
00:12:48.820 --> 00:12:51.930
Like the time I discovered the zoom function
on my DVD player

289
00:12:51.930 --> 00:12:54.279
while my wife was out of the room.

290
00:12:54.279 --> 00:12:56.120
And the loop feature as well.

291
00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:58.490
So when she came back in, there was a zoomed-in,
looped version

292
00:12:58.490 --> 00:13:00.720
of David B-- the late David Bowie's--
cock and balls

293
00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:01.570
dancing all over the telly.

294
00:13:01.570 --> 00:13:03.269
Not the cock and balls! Just the crotch!

295
00:13:03.269 --> 00:13:05.529
-- Different video!
-- Well, no, this is the scene

296
00:13:05.529 --> 00:13:08.230
where he's not got the cup on.

297
00:13:08.230 --> 00:13:11.670
There's a point where they got him the codpiece

298
00:13:11.670 --> 00:13:13.820
and there are scenes they shot beforehand
where they went

299
00:13:13.820 --> 00:13:15.880
"oh boy, you can see the whole lot there".

300
00:13:15.880 --> 00:13:17.760
"You know, it's like a party down there."

301
00:13:17.760 --> 00:13:20.160
"It's like several puppies in a paper bag."

302
00:13:20.160 --> 00:13:22.410
It's during the Magic Dance sequence,

303
00:13:22.410 --> 00:13:24.260
where he's dancing from side to side,

304
00:13:24.260 --> 00:13:26.459
going 'Dance, magic dance', that bit.

305
00:13:26.459 --> 00:13:30.110
That's the bit he doesn't
have the Crotchulator on...

306
00:13:30.110 --> 00:13:32.810
The Crotchulator!

307
00:13:32.810 --> 00:13:34.029
Worst gym machine ever.

308
00:13:34.029 --> 00:13:38.100
"Crotch you now... crotch you later!"

309
00:13:38.100 --> 00:13:41.040
It's like a helicopter sideways on.

310
00:13:41.040 --> 00:13:43.040
That's a plane, Gary.

311
00:13:48.640 --> 00:13:53.000
At the end of the show, congratulations Gary,
you win this one!

312
00:13:53.009 --> 00:13:56.889
Congraulations, you win a circular muscle
with the head of man and the body of a lion.

313
00:13:56.889 --> 00:13:57.730
Oh no...

314
00:13:57.730 --> 00:13:58.980
It's this sphinxter.

315
00:13:58.980 --> 00:14:01.240
Urgh! Urgh!

316
00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:03.580
-- Worst superhero ever.
-- Where's...

317
00:14:03.580 --> 00:14:05.660
So with that we say thank you to Chris Joel!

318
00:14:05.670 --> 00:14:08.690
Where does the muscle go
between the other parts?

319
00:14:08.690 --> 00:14:09.530
To Gary Brannan!

320
00:14:09.530 --> 00:14:10.490
To Matt Gray!

321
00:14:10.490 --> 00:14:11.199
Clenching.

322
00:14:11.199 --> 00:14:14.440
I've been Tom Scott, we'll see you next time.

323
00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:15.500
It's just going to go...

324
00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:18.550
"Why is the lion walking like that?!"

325
00:14:19.620 --> 00:14:21.920
[Translating these subtitles? Add your name
here!]