WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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This is the Technical Difficulties, we're playing Citation Needed.

2
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Joining me today, he reads books you know, it's Chris Joel.

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[mumbles] I've got something in my teeth.

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Everybody's favourite Gary Brannan, Gary Brannan.

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Insert power cable here.

6
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Where?

7
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Oh, you know.

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You committed to that.  I didn't think you 'd go for that one.

9
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I didn't think you'd go right in it.

10
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Urgh!

11
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And the bounciest man on the Internet, Matt Gray.

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Bienvenue, YouTube!

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In front of me I have an article from Wikipedia and these folks can't see it.

14
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Every fact they get right is a point and a ding [ding].

15
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And there's a special prize for a particularly good answers, which is...

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And today we are talking about Project Cybersyn.

17
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Oh! Oh...! Oh... There are many cyber sins.

18
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Is it a campaign by the Church of England to absolve robots of their sins?

19
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No, and it is spelt S Y N.

20
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Oh come on! This is a novel or something.

21
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Nope. This is entirely real. But I'll admit it sounds a little bit science fictiony.

22
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So is it sin or synthetic?

23
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It's an abbreviation of something. I'll give you one point for that [ding].

24
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Ah, synergy...

25
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Point! [ding]

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Wahey, uh-huh!

27
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It is indeed a portmanteau of cybernetics and synergy.

28
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Is it a government policy somewhere?

29
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Ooh! Yes, have a point [ding].

30
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Does anyone want to guess where in the world...

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AMERICA!

32
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Which bit?

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[bad Southern US accent] The South.

34
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Now... if I said the...

35
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Whatever the answer was correct, is the one I meant.

36
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Yes Gary, have a point. It's in South America. [ding]

37
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Yea!

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Chile.

39
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No, I'm fine, I've got a jumper on.

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I deliberately didn't pronounce it 'chilly', just so you wouldn't do that joke.

41
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Sod it!

42
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It's happening anyway. Deal with it.

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I say, to be fair, all that did was to make you sound really pretentious.

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Yes.

45
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[Posh accent] Chile.

46
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[Posh accent] Chile, I think you will find it's pronounced.

47
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I think you'll find it's pronounced "CHYLE".

48
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That's what Jimi Hendrix says.

49
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That's what we does.

50
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It's not Voodoo Chilli. Or maybe it should be that.

51
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[Posh accent] It's Voodoo Chilé.

52
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[Posh accent] Voodoo Chilé?

53
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[Posh accent] Voodoo Chilé.

54
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You know it's one of those sleeveless jackets.

55
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But you become a zombie when you put it on.

56
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A voodoo gilet!

57
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I'm so puffy and warm and... BRAINS!

58
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Chile is the far left of bottom America, right?

59
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It is. For most of the way down.

60
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Bottom America!

61
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Far left of bottom America. You navigate like I do.

62
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It's the long one, isn't it?

63
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Yes.

64
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It's the long thin one that goes all the way down one side.

65
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We went to school you know.

66
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About when are we talking about? When would you expect to see...

67
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Lunch time!

68
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2:30!

69
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Two men swinging at the same ball there, eh?

70
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It's like one of those out takes from a baseball game, where you see two people running for the same ball.

71
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What decade...

72
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would you expect to hear Project Cybersyn?

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-- If this isn't '80s, I am disappointed.
-- 70s?

74
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You're going to be disappointed, it's the '70s. Have a point, Matt [ding]

75
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Are we making South American robots?

76
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1971 to 1973.

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Is that when they took over and killed everyone?

78
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No...

79
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South America in that era. That's a dubious joke to be making.

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That's what ended Project Cybersyn, was a military coup

81
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that destroyed the control room.

82
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So yes... but(!)

83
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It was a military [pigeon noise]

84
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Military coo...

85
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Pigeons are coming! Release the robots!

86
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Sir, the robots aren't finished. The pigeons are pecking them to pieces! Oh, what a world!

87
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Sir. The robots...

88
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...ARE pigeons.

89
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[Pigeon coos]
-- Oh my god!

90
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I can't take my glasses off, I'm wearing contacts.

91
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[Pigeon coos] [Robotic buzz]

92
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My God!

93
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[Robotic buzz] [Pigeon coos]

94
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[Quietly] I don't like this.

95
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What I'd like in a robot pigeon is two things.

96
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One, someone would have to spend ages perfecting that pigeon walk...

97
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so that their heads go back and forwards at the same speed they walk still.

98
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That's easy. You just put another linkage across their of their neck and have it link to the back of their forehead.

99
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That's a modern gyro that's got to try and not compensate for that.

100
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And the other is, they'll still make it so they pick up cigarette butts.

101
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Every pigeon in the square, moving in unison.

102
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Aargh!

103
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That would be creepy.

104
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Oh, we've gone too far now.

105
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Laser eyes.

106
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Yeah, natch. Obviously. They can't hold one, they've got wings dammit!

107
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It's not going to flap its wings to fly. It's going to have a rocket up its bum.

108
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For those of you just tuning in, Project Cybersyn...
is not robot pigeons.

109
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I can just see a whole Trafalgar Square of pigeons...

110
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just stopping, wings extending and just them all launching upwards...

111
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in synergy.

112
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Now that's a beaut... compared to them all turning round to look at you in synergy, that's a beautiful image.

113
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Project Cybersyn... gentlemen.

114
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Robot pigeons, wasn't it?

115
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Robot, rocket-arsed pigeons.
We've confirmed this already, Tom.

116
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Chile.

117
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1970s... early 1970s as well.

118
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Was it a public computing project?

119
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Ooh!

120
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You can have a point [ding].
But what do you mean by public?

121
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A terminal in a cafe for someone -- for everyone to use.

122
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No. Not quite.

123
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One of these state sponsored, productivity drives, that is going to put robots in factories.

124
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To make things more efficient.

125
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Yeah, you keep doing this... 'Is it a state sponsored productivity... robots... in that...'

126
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No.... no.

127
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State sponsored. You know I will give you a point. State sponsored productivity [ding]. Because, you know, socialist government then.

128
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What were they trying to do?

129
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Get everyone computing?

130
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Teach computer literacy?

131
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Yeah, but that's too early. That's '70s.

132
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Way too early.

133
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The thing then was all about improving productivity in workplaces...

134
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because that's where places ended up with, like, robotic shop floors and stuff.

135
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So is it to do with shipping and transport and integrated movement of goods and stuff like that?

136
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Yes! Have a point [ding]

137
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Databases isn't it?

138
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And you have a point as well [ding].

139
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It was an attempt to plan the economy of Chile....

140
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Using one massive computer system.

141
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Now! As this had a very short period of time working.

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Do I assume it wasn't entirely successful?

143
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And everyone ended up burning down?

144
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No, it did actually have a bit of success.

145
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Did it declare humans as 'no longer essential'?

146
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No, they managed to switch it on. To look at the errors in the code.

147
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The screen flashes 'you're better off with a coup'.

148
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I know nothing about the politicals here. I don't know if that's even appropriate.

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"We've turned it on and all the screen says is 'Death!'"

150
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All the state-run factories were given a computer terminal

151
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where they typed all their details of what was happening.

152
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And that got fed back to...?

153
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The president's office.

154
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The mainframe.

155
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A fellow in very small glasses with a slide rule.

156
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Matt's closer [ding].

157
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America!

158
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No. It was a central control room in Chile.

159
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Complete with, what?

160
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Coffee machine?

161
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Toilets?

162
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There was a lot of manu...

163
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If this was the '70s, a strike!

164
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I'll tell you what, have a point [ding].

165
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It helped deal with striking truck workers.

166
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By killing them?

167
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No. By...

220
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No.

169
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"Computer, what is our solution?"

170
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"It just says 'Death!' again."

171
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"Whatever I press!"

172
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Striking truck drivers blocked all the access streets going to the capital.

173
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But they were able to work out what routes were free.

174
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What factories still had some workers that could send things out. And they used this central computer for it.

175
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Oh, it had Google Maps?

176
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Not really back then?

177
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No! Bing!

178
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Oh God!

179
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"Ah! I see you want to visit...
the centre of the Atlantic Ocean."

180
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"Here is a picture of France."

181
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Thanks Bing!

182
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Bing would be so much better if it was voiced by Bing Crosby.

183
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"So, I see you wanna find out more 'bout York in England do you...?"

184
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"Well son, here you go."

185
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Except it's Bing, So you'd just be given a map of the New York tube system.

186
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"Son, why d'ya wanna go anywhere else?"

187
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"Ah sir, that's all ya need to know about York... uh... you're not there."

188
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"Swell game, fellas."

189
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What did the central planning office have for the seven people, that were sat around...

190
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Seats?

191
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Super cool, lean back consoles with many screens and...

192
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I'm going to give you the point [ding]. They had...

193
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This is the '70s, whirling tape and lights, surely?

200
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Oh yeah!

195
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There we go. 1970s, Star Trek, science fiction style, command console chairs

196
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for the seven people who took all this information and made the decisions.

197
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A sign on the toilet, saying 'Captain's Log'.

198
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Aww...

199
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Which was fine, apart from the chaps in the very short dresses.

200
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Oh yeah!

201
00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:02.720
-- I'm thinking Star Trek uniforms here.
-- Yeah.

202
00:08:02.720 --> 00:08:07.200
Early Next Generation Star Trek had gender neutral uniforms

203
00:08:07.200 --> 00:08:09.280
that were basically short dresses, down to about...

204
00:08:09.280 --> 00:08:10.500
I believe they were called skants.

205
00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:11.560
Skants. Yes.

206
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I thought that sounds like a crisp based snack.

207
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Skant!

208
00:08:14.900 --> 00:08:16.520
-- Skants!
-- New Skants!

209
00:08:16.520 --> 00:08:19.160
You open the bag -- there's not much in.

210
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Buy them today...

211
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BECAUSE THE COMPUTER TOLD YOU!

212
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Buy them or face the Pigeons!

213
00:08:30.860 --> 00:08:35.280
You know in history, there are these people who have these grand dreams of socialist planning and computers

214
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that are never made real.

215
00:08:36.740 --> 00:08:38.740
This man's dream became real.

216
00:08:38.980 --> 00:08:39.720
William Shatner!

217
00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:41.760
He just wanted a real life Enterprise.

218
00:08:41.800 --> 00:08:45.500
What country did Stafford Beer come from?

219
00:08:45.500 --> 00:06:33.400
'Murica!

220
00:06:33.400 --> 00:06:34.540
No.

221
00:08:47.540 --> 00:08:48.880
The United Kingdom!

222
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Yes he did! [ding].

223
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A British management cybernetics consultant.

224
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-- [BEEP]ing hell.
-- What? In 70s...

225
00:08:56.440 --> 00:08:59.480
-- In 1970s.
-- You can't be that any more, can you?

226
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Stafford Beer.

227
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You have to be a startup to be one of those now.

228
00:09:03.980 --> 00:09:06.860
He also sympathised with the Chilean socialists.

229
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And that worked quite well!

230
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I imagine it did.

231
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He basically got, I don't know if it was a phone call in those days, but he got a message, out of the blue.

232
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-- Probably a telex.
-- A telex, surely?

233
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From the COM-PU-TER!

234
00:09:18.580 --> 00:09:22.760
From the wonderfully named Fernando Flores and he basically dropped all his other work and said

235
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"Yes, I will go to Chile!"

236
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Someone picked it up later. It would be all over the floor.

237
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And help the socialists.

238
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Did they have a five year plan?

239
00:09:29.280 --> 00:09:31.540
Well they did. But it lasted about two years.

240
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I was going to say, did that not work out?

241
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That's the duration of most five year plans, in my experience. Actually, yeah.

242
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Let me guess, they ****ed off, quite soon after.

243
00:09:38.080 --> 00:09:40.040
No, they were given a military coup.

244
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Given one?! ♫ Happy Birthday to you...

245
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♫ Here's a military coup... ♫

246
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♫ You've five minutes to leave

247
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♫ And your family too! ♫

248
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I mean Chris, you pressed the button there, but it was entirely justified.

249
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Those are biscuits for Gary. Well done.

250
00:10:03.820 --> 00:10:07.220
Yes. The 1973 Chilean coup d'etat.

251
00:10:07.220 --> 00:10:09.420
Aren't those the little things you have at parties?

252
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-- That's... that's...
-- Crudités!

253
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A crudités coup d'etat!

254
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Ooh look! It's shaped like a tiny rifle.

255
00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:19.240
How avant-garde!

256
00:10:19.240 --> 00:10:21.320
Ooh! It's taken over my intestines!

257
00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:24.360
Yes, the caviar was somewhat suspect.

258
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Opens the fridge... Flags... Parade...

259
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Tins of pilchards going round like nuclear missiles.

260
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Than, many years later, people are wearing red t-shirts, with crudités on them.

261
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Big pictures of a tin of sardines...

262
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Being held. They were obviously airbrushed, to make them look a bit newer.

263
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Yeah!

264
00:10:47.780 --> 00:10:49.220
The smoked salmon ones are at the top

265
00:10:49.220 --> 00:10:52.820
because although all men are born equal, some are more equal than others.

266
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Apart from one really old one in the middle. Looks like it could fall off at any time.

267
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With an awesome mustache.

268
00:10:58.560 --> 00:11:00.660
It's a Chilean coup, so with a big hat, sunglasses.

269
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Who backed the Chilean coup? In 1973?

270
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The COM-PU-TER did!

271
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It's got to be the States.

272
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It's go to be the States. Richard Nixon's government. Yes [ding].

273
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There is a name you might recognise, that came to power afterwards.

274
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-- Pinochet!
-- Pinochet! [ding]

275
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Dammit! I would have been right. Ah well.

276
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It was the coup in which Pinochet came to power.

277
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And... you know...

278
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As part of this, the massive infrastructure of socialism that Nixon and the U.S. were fighting against.

279
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This massive computer orchestrated thing... destroyed.

280
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It's worth pointing out, in less than...

281
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Ooh hoo hoo hoo!

282
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I didn't actually intend for that to connect.

283
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-- Hel-lo!
-- Handbags at dawn ladies!

284
00:11:38.360 --> 00:11:40.920
He's right, it was worth pointing out.

285
00:11:40.920 --> 00:11:44.680
That is the most 'shut that door' slap I've ever seen, Tom.

286
00:11:44.680 --> 00:11:46.060
It really is.

287
00:11:47.420 --> 00:11:51.840
It's worth mentioning that they actually did get to advanced prototype in under two years.

288
00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:56.020
Which for a central government operation -- like, I don't know if Britain could do that

289
00:11:56.020 --> 00:11:59.560
with one thing right now.
Let alone a big national project.

290
00:11:59.560 --> 00:12:01.480
So they went full-on startup?

291
00:12:01.480 --> 00:12:02.580
Yeah. They...

292
00:12:02.580 --> 00:12:06.520
They had a great idea. They burned out after two years, almost literally.

293
00:12:06.900 --> 00:12:08.120
That's it. That's all I'm saying.

294
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Yeah, they managed it.

295
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And no-one really got any money at the end. And the person whose idea it was,

296
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despite the fact it was technically a failure, went back and had a successful career doing other things.

297
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And no-one's heard about it now!

298
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Basically a tech startup. There you go.

299
00:12:20.340 --> 00:12:22.480
The late '90s, documented, right there.

300
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Yes!

301
00:12:23.180 --> 00:12:26.300
So, congratulations at the end of that. I think Gary, you...

302
00:12:26.980 --> 00:12:28.080
You very clearly win this one.

303
00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:35.080
You win a restaurant that cooks lingerie over a box of hot coals, that was previously owned by a famous civil engineer...

304
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Go on...

305
00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:41.440
It's Brunel's Brassieres and Braziers Brasserie.

306
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So congratulations, enjoy that.

307
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With that we say good bye to Chris Joel...

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To Gary Brannan...

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To Matt Gray...

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I've been Tom Scott and we'll see you next time.

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