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This is the Technical Difficulties, we're playing Citation Needed.

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Joining me today - he reads books you know - it's Chris Joel!

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No letters once more.

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The bounciest man on the internet, Matt Gray!

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Hello!

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And everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan!

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Accompany me into the inner reaches of Dale Winton.

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In front of me, I've got an article from Wikipedia and these folks can't see it

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Every fact they get right is a point and a ding [ding]

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And there's a special prize for particularly good answers is...

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Think I've set a personal best there.

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Today we are talking about The Jimmy Carter Rabbit Incident.

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Oh brilliant! Giant, swimming rabbit [ding] attacks Jimmy Carter [ding]

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whilst fishing [ding]

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Ha!

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Right, that's it, we can go home, we can go home.

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Personal best. Right, see you everybody,

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That's us done for the day.

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Were you both going for that?

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Did you beat Gary to that?

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Yeah.

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It's one of my few, sort of, extra super special bits

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of weird general knowledge and I knew Brannan'd know it as well.

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You know what, I didn't actually, so well played.

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I genuinely thought you'd beaten him to the punch there

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Well I thought I -

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No, I was going to make up some schtick

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but the point is, what I was going to make up weren't too far from the truth, fact is.

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I mean, obviously you've won, but -

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Obviously this show is now entirely redundant for you, the viewer,

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I mean, this is the way we should have done them all along -

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Let's explore this because there's quite a lot to go on here.

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What do you know about this?

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Ostensibly, an enormous rodent swimming across a lake to Jimmy Carter--

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who's fishing in this little sort of boat about the size of our table.

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- US President Jimmy Carter -

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He's up at whatever the country retreat is

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and this thing just sort of gets up on the back end of the boat

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and he's wailing on it with the oar.

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It was a swamp rabbit, swamp hare.

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Of course - only in America would they call it a "swamp rabbit"

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give it the real, dangerous edge it obviously needs.

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It's a large, cotton tailed rabbit. It's a big thing.

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Looks about like that.

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Essentially, it's still a rabbit though, yeah?

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Yeah. That can swim!

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But it's got big nasty pointy teeth and it can jump through about-

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Okay, it can swim, that's one thing. If it had its own kayak, I'd be more worried, let's face it.

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No no, it's much harder to get out of a kayak into another boat --

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The rabbit can use a kayak, but it's on attack mode, you know.

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So we've got an amphibious rabbit attack as well.

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I can imagine it just whittling away...

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It only didn't use its torpedos because, you know,

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there's only one of 'em. I can take him hand-to-hand.

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And it'd get launched backwards!

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In the middle of this lake, a log-made submarine just pokes the conning tower above the surface.

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The top unscrews - donk! - out comes a rabbit in a naval uniform.

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"Fire!" "Sir, it's ungentlemanly to torpedo our president without giving him prior warning."

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"F*** it, I'll take it meself then!"

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And that was the problem. The problem was --

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Dagger in his mouth. Aaah!

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-- what was a fairly mundane story, is really funny when you start riffing on it. And everyone did.

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This is very funny anyway, because let's face it,

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It's a president being attacked by a f------ great rabbit, I mean, that's got --

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Can you imagine, just, translating it here?

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Gordon Brown is out one day, I don't know, cycling along the road

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a sheep gets out and whales the s--- out of him. I'm sorry, I'd watch that day and night!

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What was the president's side of the story?

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The left hand side.

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He was out there fishing in a peaceful fashion.

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Maybe those things he did against the rabbits in his time in office came back to bite him on the ass quite literally.

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No, he said the rabbit had good reason for being in a panic and jumping away.

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Was it being chased by a crocodile?

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It's being chased by something.

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FBI agents, there to escort the president.

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A court order.

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Hounds, but I'm gonna give you a point for "being chased" there, Matt [ding].

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Okay, okay. So the rabbit's being hunted, and he's running away.

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Yup, and he said,

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"Swam toward my boat, when he almost got there, I splashed some water with a paddle."

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That is Jimmy Carter's side of the story.

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I was gonna say, that sounds very much like one side of the story in any incident.

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"So I'm innocently on the water, I just splashed me paddle, next thing I know he's on me!"

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Turns out he called his mum a ****** or something while he was coming over.

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What did Carter's staff say about this when he got back to his office?

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-- The staff, as in the oar?
-- No.

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"Ha ha, hahahahahahaha, boss, you got your ass kicked by a rabbit."

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No.

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Nothing! They were mute.

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Because they too were rabbits. Tinfoil hat.

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Yeah, giant rabbit conspiracy tried to take over the giant lizard government of the world.

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Exactly, inside job man. Inside job.

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No, um --

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Rabbits can't cut through steel beams.

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Um, rabbits can't what?

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Cut through steel beams.

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Um, replace -

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Swim!

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Thank you! Have a point. They insisted rabbits couldn't swim.

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Well, I think they just got called bull---- on that one!

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Yeah, well, no one believed him apart from then the incident was captured --

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-- on literally - there's video.

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Puts on tinfoil hat. "How convenient."

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"There just happened to be a camera there when the rabbit attacked the president."

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False flag, people! False flag! They set it up!

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There was a second rabbit behind the Grassy Knoll!

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Firing his torpedos.

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Yes, there was a second rabbit, in the submarine!

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You can only just make out the picture 'cause they haven't got very good steadycam.

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When you say footage, it is just a photo.

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Hang on a sec.

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Rewind. Grassy knoll - is a small little hill is it not?

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It is.

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What would live inside a small little hill?

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-- Teletubbies!
-- Teletubbies!

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Yeah, Teletubbies killed Kennedy, that's where I was going with this.

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Nunu's about to be very naughty.

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I've got the thought that the Lee Harvey Oswald footage being re-cut now for Tinky-Winky, being pulled out

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being pulled out as Po jumps out.

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"This president - is tubby-toast."

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Meanwhile, the rabbits, who are behind all this s---

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-- Oh, God!
-- they're still on the Grassy Knoll!

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"Excellent," they cried.

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-- Theme from Watership Down plays. The end.
-- Yup.

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But in a minor key, just to make it a little bit more evil.

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More evil than Watership Down?!

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Yeah.

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Obviously, the president did not mention this to reporters

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because "I got chased by a rabbit and had to splash it away" is not a good PR story.

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How did it leak?

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Rabbits did it.

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Conspiracy. It's a rabbit conspiracy.

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Well how did the boat leak? I think a rabbit took a big friggin' chunk out of it by the sound of it.

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Well if someone photographed it...

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The White House press photographer. Official. It wouldn't have gotten out of there.

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When they got it developed, the developer saw it...

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No, so it's - the press secretary just kinda told a reporter about it.

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'Cause it is quite funny.

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It is quite funny,

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and the reporter promptly filed that with a wire service, and the story, "President attacked by rabbit,"

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promptly appeared on the Washington Post.

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I could absolutely see David Cameron getting...

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Oh yeah. The thing is, they hadn't released the photo

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because they didn't want the photo of the president hitting the rabbit to...

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So what was on the front of the Washington Post?

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A cartoon - an artist's impression. [ding]

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Yes, you're getting the point straight away, but bear in mind, this is 1979.

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What would've happened in 1979?

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What pop culture thing would they have used for President attacked by rabbit?

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Disco, or something like that?

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It's a film.

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Star Wars?

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No...

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Not '77, but - '77, '81.

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About attacks from the water.

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Close Encounters of the Third Kind!

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Oh, that's a...!

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It's wrong...

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-- Gnaws!
-- Jaws!

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That, yeah, I'll give you the point there.

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It was - It was "Paws". But it was the Jaws poster with a rabbit instead.

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Fair enoughski.

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The White House didn't release the photo until, I quote here, "it 'turned up' during the Reagan Administration."

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Filed under "rabbits, lol" in a filing cabinet.

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Reagan quickly used it as propaganda to go and invade the rabbit nation.

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Yes, obviously.

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Mr. Rabbit, tear this warren down!

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It played into this idea that Carter's presidency was hapless, was feeble,

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was someone who could be taken down by a rabbit.

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But it's not the only article here listed under "Jimmy Carter, incident".

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So fill in the blank, what's the other weird thing that happened to Jimmy Carter during his presidency?

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Well, it didn't come out during his presidency.

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It actually happened in 1969.

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Was it food? Was it a sandwich incident?

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No! No, you might be thinking of George HW Bush throwing up in the Japanese prime minister's lap.

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That was something that happened.

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He was governer of Georgia in 1969.

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Oh it's a funny thing, though?

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Oh, no, I wouldn't go with funny. I would go with spooky.

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Ghost! Witch!

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Sasquatch!

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UFO.

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Ohh baby. Brilliant.

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The Jimmy Carter UFO incident, sits quite nicely next to the Jimmy Carter rabbit incident.

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And the two aren't linked? Tinfoil hat.

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Apparently not. Jimmy Carter saw an object that was bright white,

187
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about as bright as the moon, and 30 degrees above the horizon.

188
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-- Was it the moon?
-- Was it the moon?

189
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Now, you say that, um...

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"It was as big as the moon, where the moon should be!

191
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"And it looked a little bit like the moon!"

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"But it was in the way of the moon! I couldn't see the moon!"

193
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"I couldn't see the moon, for the big white moon thing in front of the moon!"

194
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Well, apparently it changed color to blue, then red, then white.

195
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The reflection of America, in the sky!

196
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Did you just hit yourself really hard there?

197
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-- Really quite hard.
-- Well, quite hard.

198
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It sounded like it hurt!

199
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About 20 people unable to work out what a mysterious light could be.

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Crash zoom. Rabbit.

201
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With a red torch.

202
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Yeah.

203
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Going "hahahahahahaha"!

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"This'll **** 'em up! Hahaha!"

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What is the most likely explanation?

206
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What do you see near the horizon that's frequently mistaken for a UFO?

207
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Venus.

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Point! [ding]

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Absolutely right. Jimmy Carter said he did not believe the object was Venus.

210
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What, did he think it was his plane or something? Oh, he wasn't president by this point.

211
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-- "You're late!"
-- Yeah.

212
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He thought it might be a helicopter or something like that.

213
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With a rabbit in it.

214
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But what did he say during his election campaign, what did he tell reporters?

215
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What did he do?

216
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"If I find out I was probed by aliens, I'll let you know."

217
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That's technically true. [ding]

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"If I become president, I'll make every piece of information this country has

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about UFO sightings available to the public."

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Did he?

221
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Well, there weren't any.

222
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"No, definitely not."

223
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Yes, if you were in on the conspiracy, and a president coming in said,

224
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"I'm gonna make this conspiracy public,"

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would you let them in on the conspiracy?

226
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Or would you show them the empty filing cabinet that says,

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"Evidence for UFOs", hastily written on the front.

228
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And, before that, said, "Evidence for rabbit conspiracy".

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What did he say was the reason that he wasn't actually going to make every one of the UFO -

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"Truth?! You can't handle the truth!"

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You know what, I'm going to give you the point. [ding]

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Defense implications.

233
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So the last one's "fill in the blanks" here.

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The George H. W. Bush *blank* incident?

235
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Sandwich.

236
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Vomiting, but yeah I'll give you that.

237
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It was at a formal dinner. [ding]

238
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The Bill Clinton *blank* controversy?

239
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Monica Lewinsky?

240
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No, haircut!

241
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What?!

242
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Oh come, we've gone from "man attacked by rabbit" to "man spews on diplomat" to "man has trim".

243
00:11:20.100 --> 00:11:24.420
Man has trim while in Air Force One and grounding other planes, allegedly.

244
00:11:24.420 --> 00:11:25.700
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

245
00:11:25.780 --> 00:11:27.840
The Dick Cheney *blank* incident?

246
00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:29.720
-- Dick.
-- Hunting people.

247
00:11:29.720 --> 00:11:30.800
Quail!

248
00:11:30.800 --> 00:11:33.540
Hunting, yes. You can all have a point for that one. [dings]

249
00:11:33.540 --> 00:11:34.860
I said "dick"!

250
00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:41.840
I got a point for saying "Dick Cheney dick incident"!

251
00:11:42.640 --> 00:11:45.760
I... may not have been paying attention there.

252
00:11:45.760 --> 00:11:48.980
Technically he's right, because Dick Cheney was involved in this.

253
00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:51.660
I thought you were going to say Dick Cheney was a dick!

254
00:11:51.660 --> 00:11:54.080
-- Also - also true... opinion.
-- Opinion.

255
00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:57.580
And finally, the *blank* of Caerbannog.

256
00:11:58.700 --> 00:11:59.600
-- Cave.
-- Rabbit?

257
00:11:59.660 --> 00:12:00.620
Point. [ding]

258
00:12:00.620 --> 00:12:02.720
Absolutely right, it's the one from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

259
00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:04.560
and it's listed as a related article.

260
00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:07.160
Yes!

261
00:12:07.160 --> 00:12:09.780
Chris, obviously you win this week's show.

262
00:12:09.780 --> 00:12:13.640
because you knew about it and gave everyone the first few answers!

263
00:12:13.640 --> 00:12:17.960
So congratulations to you, you win permission to dress up as a famous frog and go hide in a cave.

264
00:12:18.680 --> 00:12:20.280
It's a hermit Kermit permit.

265
00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:22.800
So do enjoy that.

266
00:12:22.800 --> 00:12:24.340
[in Kermit's voice] "Yay, let's get out of here!"

267
00:12:24.340 --> 00:12:24.840
Yay!

268
00:12:24.880 --> 00:12:27.040
You are dressed appropriately, so with that -

269
00:12:27.040 --> 00:12:28.220
"Miss Piggy!"

270
00:12:28.220 --> 00:12:30.300
We say thank you to Chris Joel!

271
00:12:30.300 --> 00:12:31.420
Matt Gray!

272
00:12:31.420 --> 00:12:32.220
Gary Brannan!

273
00:12:32.220 --> 00:12:36.920
I've been Tom Scott; that has been... this run of Citation Needed!

274
00:12:36.920 --> 00:12:39.340
Thank you very much! We will see you next time!

275
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[Translating these subtitles? Add your name here!]