WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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This is the Technical Difficulties, we're playing Citation Needed.

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Joining me today: he reads books, you know
— it's Chris Joel!

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I've not picked a letter!

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The bounciest man on the internet, Matt Gray!

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Hello YouTube.

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And everybody's favourite Gary Brannan, Gary Brannan!

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All aboard the zipline to the poop deck!

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[Laughing] In front of me I have an article...

9
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Where's the zipline from?

10
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Soft landing!

11
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In front of me I have an article from Wikipedia and these folks can't see it.

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Every fact they get right is a point and a ding [DING],

13
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and there's a special prize for particularly good answers, which is...

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And today's article is: Sergeant Reckless.

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That is my rank in the army.

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Have a point. [DING]

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Sergeant Major — Sergeant Reckless!

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You get a point —

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Yay!

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...for successfully saying this is something or someone in the military.

21
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Is it someone called Sergeant Reckless, before we go too far?

22
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"Someone" is putting it a little bit strongly.

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Is it a dog?

24
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Ooh, but you're close.

25
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Horse.

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Point! [DING]

27
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Although, to be honest, the horse is named Reckless.

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Why might it have had the Sergeant?

29
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Got a field promotion.

30
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Started at the bottom and worked its way up.

31
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Held official rank in the United States military.

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— Okay.
— Did it order anyone?

370
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Er, no.

34
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Yeah, a lot of donkeys that were subordinate to it.

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'Private Donkey, Private Ass...'

36
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Although, if you think about it, privates in the platoon must have been technically outranked by the horse.

37
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Yeah, they'd have to salute the horse.

38
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Horse can't salute, can it?

39
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Yeah, it can!

40
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Can it?

41
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Yeah! Balance on the other three.

42
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Yes, but can it do that with the other leg?

43
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Leg up!

44
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Don't know. Have you seen a horse try?

45
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I don't know about you, but most of the horses I've seen have not been in the army.

46
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Oh, that's fair.

47
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Most of the horses I've seen have been civilians.

48
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Yeah, but they'd tend to use it to adjust their glasses or something, even if they weren't in the army.

49
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Monocle.

50
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Can you imagine the length of the bridge of the glasses for a horse?

51
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Yeah, that's fine. A monocle's still going to fall out.

52
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They'll have two monocles!

53
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All right, they'll fall out, but that's just the universal exhibition of surprise.

54
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More of a windscreen for a horse, isn't it?

55
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Wraparound cricket glasses.

56
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Can you imagine? A prescription windscreen basically — why don't you have those?

57
00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:08.400
Why don't I have a windscreen?

58
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I'm a human.

59
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It'd be like one massive bit of glass that goes all the way round.

60
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Poker visor things!

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Yeah!

62
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No, because it'd be massively heavy.

63
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Glasses are really heavy.

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I'm not talking about — all right, for the 1940s horse in the army,

344
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Yeah.

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Yes, impractical because of the size of the glass.

67
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For the modern man of today there must be thin materials we could use for —

68
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No, there really aren't. If you make the glasses thin,

69
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the refractive index has to be high so they're really heavy.

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Science!

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I've...

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He's asked. He's tried.

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I've literally tried to order extra-extra-thin glasses,

74
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and they basically kept falling forwards off my face because they were just so heavy.

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In moments of surprise, or at any time?

76
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Any time!

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Because any glasses should fall off at any moment of surprise.

344
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Yeah.

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No, originally a racehorse,

80
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Sergeant Reckless was purchased from a Korean stableboy at the Seoul racetrack

81
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who needed money to buy an artificial leg for his sister.

82
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Sergeant Reckless's sister?

83
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No, no, the stableboy's sister.

84
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Oh.

85
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They didn't give the horse an artificial leg.

86
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Sorry, I tuned out halfway through what he was saying.

87
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It sounded like the horse's sister was in hospital.

88
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That makes a lot more sense.

89
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It's fine.

90
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It was technically an open modifier; I could have...

91
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It's a brown horse, but it's got a white leg because it's all they've got left.

92
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I'm going to give you a point.
Sergeant Reckless was indeed a chestnut horse.

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[DING]

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With, I'm quoting here, "a blaze and three white stockings."

95
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White head marking and three white legs, but not on the fourth.

96
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Two points. [DING DING] Two points straight away. Well done.

97
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Because it's the false — oh, no, that was his sister.

98
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Yes, a blaze — a wide white stripe down the middle of the face.

99
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Do you think they camouflage that before they go into battle?

100
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It'd be an obvious target.

101
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He didn't actually — 'Aim for this bit.'

102
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He didn't have a bulls-eye on there.

103
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There might as well be, if you've got a big —

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you know, it's a nighttime battle,

105
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Sergeant Reckless is in the trench with you,

106
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See what's going on... [horse snort]

107
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That's what made him reckless. He refused to camouflage it.

108
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We've made a presumption here, folks.

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Ahh.

110
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Female.

111
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Lady horse.

112
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There we go. [DING] Her date of birth and parentage are unconfirmed.

113
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What was the reason you would buy...

114
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An army platoon — the Recoilless Rifles — why would they buy a horse?

115
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Glue.

394
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No.

117
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Lucrative incomes via betting.

118
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By the way, by 'recoilless rifle', it is basically, er —

119
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A rifle that fires without recoil?

120
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If you think rifle, you think small stuff.

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This is basically a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher.

122
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Was it a bit like — the Indian army, didn't they use elephants as gun platforms?

123
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Er, no, it is just a pack horse.

124
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That's bull****, it's a bloody racehorse.

125
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To pack the tube of the rifle.

126
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They needed a horse that was strong and powerful,

127
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and could travel long distances at speed.

128
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Nine-month military career.

129
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Right.

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In a single day, made 51 solo trips to resupply front-line units.

131
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'Go over there, horsey.'

132
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I think that may literally have been the order,

133
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It was: Here are some shells; they've trained the thing...

134
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Slap it on the back and it goes out and back.

135
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How do they know this horse wasn't trying to run away

136
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and just kept getting caught and sent back in the other direction?

137
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It's an equine shuttle bus.

138
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Er... equine cargo platform.

139
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Cargo lifter, if you want to go for that.

140
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It's the original shipping container.

141
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More like BigDog.

344
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Yeah.

143
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Yeah, that robot Google is working on right now.

144
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Oh! Ugh!

145
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-- Yeah, their unnerving...
-- Google?!

146
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Yeah, Google bought Boston Dynamics

147
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Did they?

148
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Because that's not scary at all.

149
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The massive autonomous robots for military use,

150
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basically, the electronic descendants of Sergeant Reckless,

151
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yeah, Google owns that company.

152
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(Boston Dynamics are owned by Google?)

153
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Delivering your Amazon packages soon!

344
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Yeah.

155
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I love that we're slightly slagging Google,

156
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and I wonder if the lights are going to go out any second now.

157
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That's a good point. We are in YouTube's own studios here, which we're very thankful for.

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Mister Google, who I assume owns it,

159
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is just over a big red button on his desk.

160
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Mister Google?!

161
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Could be.

162
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Terry Google and Sons,

163
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are, when you type in your search query,

164
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'Right, okay, better get the replies to that in.'

165
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Straight over to the card index, pull it out...

166
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I was going to say, old card index.

360
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Yup.

168
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Was that the sound of a cat trapped in a card index there?

169
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[Riffling] Reowr!

170
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It's filed under C.

344
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Yeah.

172
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For 'Cat'.

173
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Which actually, in YouTube's card index — quite big, these days.

174
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Yeah. Yeah.

175
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K for 'Kitten' outranks it, but...

176
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Hold on, hold on, hold on, archivist question:

177
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Do you file 'Kitten' under K,

178
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or do you file it under 'Cat', bracket, 'kitten' or comma,  'young'?

179
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If — and here we go technical — if 'Cat' is the collection,

180
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I think 'Kitten' would be a series beneath it.

181
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All right! I'm glad I asked that question.

182
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If you were giving me cat videos to file, I probably would do, erm...

183
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probably, yeah, by cat-egory, so...

184
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I think I probably would put 'Kitten' underneath.

185
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Okay.

186
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Depends how they originally came.

187
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But if it was Terry Google and Sons...

344
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Yeah.

189
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You type in 'funny cat photo', they'd have to get the cat out and the camera out

190
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and take the photo to send you it.

191
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That's true.

192
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That's Victorian Google for you.

193
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They telegram it over.

194
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Send it round with a courier.

195
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Lad turns up with a hand-cranked projector,

196
00:07:24.400 --> 00:07:26.320
'You wanted a funny cat video, sir?'

197
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Oddly, that is the same sound as taking the cat out of the file there.

198
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I was going to say.

199
00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:34.360
Sitting there with your brandy — 'Heh! Heh! Heh! Most amusing.'

200
00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:36.620
The horse was known for a few things:

201
00:07:36.620 --> 00:07:38.920
for her willingness to eat nearly anything, including...

202
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Including ammunition.

203
00:07:40.700 --> 00:07:43.400
Nearly. About thirty dollars' worth of something...

204
00:07:44.020 --> 00:07:44.820
Gun cotton.

205
00:07:45.220 --> 00:07:46.100
Poker chips.

206
00:07:48.780 --> 00:07:52.060
Waiting for her to 'cash out' about a day later...

207
00:07:52.060 --> 00:07:53.500
It's like a one-armed bandit.

208
00:07:53.800 --> 00:07:57.180
Bar... bar... bar... hrm. Booomf!

209
00:07:58.220 --> 00:08:02.700
Also the first horse in the Marine Corps known to have participated

210
00:08:02.700 --> 00:08:05.200
in a certain type of military operation.

211
00:08:05.400 --> 00:08:06.920
Formation skydiving.

212
00:08:07.700 --> 00:08:09.700
I mean, I'd like to see that...

213
00:08:09.700 --> 00:08:12.120
It's not technically a military operation.

214
00:08:12.400 --> 00:08:13.760
I've just realized.

215
00:08:13.760 --> 00:08:17.440
Both military operations and medical operations happen in a theatre.

216
00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:18.500
Ahh!

217
00:08:18.500 --> 00:08:19.980
You're right. Yeah. The theatre of war...

218
00:08:19.980 --> 00:08:22.380
This is not funny, I've just realized they're the same words.

219
00:08:22.500 --> 00:08:23.220
Profound.

220
00:08:23.220 --> 00:08:25.500
Yeah. I mean, I can't give you a point for it...

221
00:08:25.500 --> 00:08:27.480
Give him some biscuits, at least.

222
00:08:27.480 --> 00:08:28.840
Really? It's not worth biscuits.

223
00:08:28.840 --> 00:08:29.340
Come on!

224
00:08:29.340 --> 00:08:31.180
I don't think it's worth a biscuit. I'm going to be — aaa!

225
00:08:33.900 --> 00:08:35.500
Oooh! What happens now?

226
00:08:35.820 --> 00:08:36.540
Biscuits!

227
00:08:36.780 --> 00:08:37.980
Stolen biscuits!

228
00:08:37.980 --> 00:08:39.420
We're looking for a type of military operation.

229
00:08:39.420 --> 00:08:42.980
Some kind of big thing you wouldn't expect a horse to be involved in.

230
00:08:43.520 --> 00:08:44.160
USO show.

231
00:08:44.160 --> 00:08:45.040
Ocean landing.

232
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Yes! [DING] Absolutely. Point.

233
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In fact, that, you can have the biscuits you just stole for.

234
00:08:49.860 --> 00:08:51.300
Amphibious landing.

235
00:08:51.300 --> 00:08:55.940
Doors open: at the front is a grizzled-looking horse with a cigar in his mouth.

236
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'Let's do this.'

237
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'What's the matter with you? You wanna live forever?'

238
00:09:00.180 --> 00:09:04.340
Was awarded, first of all, two Purple Hearts, which is the medal you get for...

239
00:09:04.340 --> 00:09:05.200
Being wounded.

240
00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:07.060
Point. [DING] Absolutely right.

241
00:09:07.340 --> 00:09:13.040
The Marines taught Reckless battlefield survival skills, such as...?

242
00:09:13.040 --> 00:09:14.580
We're talking 1950s here.

243
00:09:14.580 --> 00:09:17.160
Negotiate spiky things put in the way to slow you down?

244
00:09:17.160 --> 00:09:18.920
I'll take — literally, I'll give you a point for that. [DING]

245
00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:22.080
How not to become entangled in barbed wire.

246
00:09:22.760 --> 00:09:23.640
Helicopter.

247
00:09:23.640 --> 00:09:26.420
How would you teach it? You'd just go: 'No. No!'

248
00:09:26.460 --> 00:09:28.700
I don't know how you train a horse.

249
00:09:28.700 --> 00:09:31.800
Put the carrots round the barbed wire rather than through.

250
00:09:32.080 --> 00:09:34.400
And how to lie down when under fire.

251
00:09:34.400 --> 00:09:37.260
Also, if she heard 'Incoming!' she would run for a bunker.

252
00:09:38.560 --> 00:09:40.800
...killing soldiers in its path!

253
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Smashing.

254
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I don't know if a horse can fit in a bunker, but...

255
00:09:44.960 --> 00:09:49.500
Is it stuck in the door with its hooves just clipping on the concrete? [Whinnying]

256
00:09:49.500 --> 00:09:52.200
Winnie the Pooh wedged in Rabbit's burrow, legs going.

257
00:09:52.540 --> 00:09:57.100
Putting on its flash goggles and radiation suit as well, obviously.

258
00:09:57.100 --> 00:10:00.500
They should put webbing on the horse, so as it's cantering for the...

259
00:10:00.500 --> 00:10:03.680
Guys just grabbing on the side and getting dragged to safety.

260
00:10:03.820 --> 00:10:07.120
'Tell you what, boys — just follow the horse, eh? Ha ha.'

261
00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:10.340
What happened the first time that the recoilless rifle —

262
00:10:10.340 --> 00:10:13.000
basically, the rocket launcher — was fired near her?

263
00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:16.740
Did it not properly not-recoil, and she was fired backward about a hundred yards?

264
00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:18.220
No...

265
00:10:18.220 --> 00:10:19.380
Not at her, near her?

266
00:10:19.380 --> 00:10:20.020
Near her.

267
00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:21.320
Did she run away?

268
00:10:21.320 --> 00:10:24.420
Did she spit out her gum and go, 'Call that a bang?'

269
00:10:24.420 --> 00:10:26.100
All four feet left the ground,

270
00:10:26.100 --> 00:10:29.380
as she jumped — it's a difficult thing for a horse.

427
00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:31.340
Wow.

272
00:10:31.340 --> 00:10:34.660
Imagine if you could hear the horse's words, you'd see: '****!!'

273
00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:37.720
"You never told me it'd be that loud!"

274
00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:41.140
What did they do to train her? Pop paper bags behind her or something like that?

275
00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:42.560
'Bang.'

276
00:10:42.700 --> 00:10:43.520
Basically, by the end of the mission...

277
00:10:43.580 --> 00:10:45.500
'Bang.' Hold up a flash card.

278
00:10:45.500 --> 00:10:47.420
By the end of the mission she was used to it.

279
00:10:47.420 --> 00:10:50.640
When learning a new delivery route, she would only need someone to lead her a few times,

280
00:10:50.640 --> 00:10:52.540
and then she would make the trips on her own.

281
00:10:52.540 --> 00:10:55.180
'Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. All right, I'll do it.'

282
00:10:55.180 --> 00:10:57.840
Goes behind a bush, waits there for an hour.

283
00:10:57.840 --> 00:11:00.400
Throws everything off and comes back, like you's'd do on your paper round.

284
00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:03.040
'Yeah, I took it.'

285
00:11:03.040 --> 00:11:07.280
There was a standing order not to ride her, but during the Battle of Vegas Hill...

286
00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:07.980
Ohhh!

287
00:11:08.160 --> 00:11:09.180
...what happened?

288
00:11:09.340 --> 00:03:24.780
Somebody did.

289
00:03:24.780 --> 00:03:26.760
[DING]

290
00:11:10.660 --> 00:11:11.780
Went to a casino.

291
00:11:11.780 --> 00:11:12.880
With a man on her back.

292
00:11:13.080 --> 00:11:15.000
Obviously someone rode her.

293
00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:17.500
What might they have travelled through?

294
00:11:17.940 --> 00:11:20.820
Three casinos and a Siegfried and Roy show.

295
00:11:21.920 --> 00:04:18.140
Did they traverse a river?

394
00:04:18.140 --> 00:04:19.000
No.

297
00:11:25.020 --> 00:11:26.220
Atomic test site.

298
00:11:26.220 --> 00:11:29.020
More dangerous than that; less dangerous than that.

299
00:11:29.140 --> 00:11:30.180
The enemy line.

300
00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:31.080
Minefield.

301
00:11:31.740 --> 00:11:32.240
Ah.

302
00:11:32.240 --> 00:02:19.220
'Well, I've got a ton of horse between the mine and me, I'll be all right.'

344
00:02:19.220 --> 00:02:19.720
Yeah.

304
00:11:39.040 --> 00:11:40.880
In my head... [Trotting sounds]

305
00:11:40.880 --> 00:11:43.120
And there's an explosion and it's just rider and horse:

306
00:11:43.940 --> 00:11:44.980
[Rising sound]

307
00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:46.120
[Falling sound]

308
00:11:46.120 --> 00:02:19.220
That's how she did the vertical takeoff when she was surprised.

344
00:02:19.220 --> 00:02:19.720
Yeah.

310
00:11:48.540 --> 00:11:50.700
But — antipersonnel minefield?

311
00:11:50.700 --> 00:11:52.380
Or anti-tank minefield?

312
00:11:52.380 --> 00:11:55.080
Doesn't say.
I didn't know there was much of a difference.

313
00:11:55.540 --> 00:11:56.660
Yeah. Pressure.

314
00:11:56.820 --> 00:11:58.420
Well, two differences. Pressure...

315
00:11:58.420 --> 00:12:02.560
Anti-tank goes off when you put however many tons through it,

316
00:12:03.180 --> 00:02:19.220
and goes off immediately.

344
00:02:19.220 --> 00:02:19.720
Yeah.

318
00:12:05.240 --> 00:12:07.920
Anti-personnel goes off under much lighter pressure,

319
00:12:08.020 --> 00:12:10.020
but goes off after you pass by.

320
00:12:10.520 --> 00:12:11.020
Why?

321
00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:13.200
Blows up behind you,

322
00:12:13.240 --> 00:12:14.520
and gets everyone.

323
00:12:14.520 --> 00:12:15.560
And gets everyone in line, right.

324
00:12:15.560 --> 00:12:17.000
So, my question to you is:

325
00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:19.740
if you are travelling fast enough on a racehorse...

326
00:12:19.820 --> 00:12:20.540
ALL: Oooh!

327
00:12:20.540 --> 00:12:23.420
Do you get heroes-never-look-back explosions?

328
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:27.280
Can you imagine being the man in the enemy trench,

329
00:12:27.280 --> 00:12:30.000
seeing someone riding a horse through a minefield,

330
00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:32.440
with a following trail of explosions,

331
00:12:32.440 --> 00:12:35.320
as a grizzled, combat-ready horse

332
00:12:35.680 --> 00:12:38.480
strolls through with a cigar in its mouth?

333
00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:40.620
You can just imagine the guy behind enemy lines going:

334
00:12:43.420 --> 00:12:46.300
And as the horse comes up, spitting out the cigar and the chewing tobacco

335
00:12:46.300 --> 00:12:47.580
and going, 'Got any more?'

336
00:12:49.380 --> 00:12:50.660
The noise, though!

337
00:12:52.780 --> 00:12:54.000
'What caused that?'

338
00:12:54.800 --> 00:12:56.000
'...a horse...!'

339
00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:59.160
I mean, the answer is still probably: no, you end up with chunks of horse.

340
00:12:59.160 --> 00:13:00.660
Yes, let's be honest here.

341
00:13:00.660 --> 00:13:03.360
Or as we call it now, delicious, delicious lasagna.

382
00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:03.980
Yes.

343
00:13:03.980 --> 00:02:19.220
But I do like the way that Gary is writing the comic book...

344
00:02:19.220 --> 00:02:19.720
Yeah.

345
00:13:08.200 --> 00:13:10.400
Just writing the comic book character of this.

346
00:13:10.460 --> 00:13:12.940
After retiring from active service,

347
00:13:13.760 --> 00:13:17.520
there was a campaign to get her back to the United States,

348
00:13:17.520 --> 00:13:18.980
to the country that she'd now served.

349
00:13:19.560 --> 00:13:22.600
Does anyone want to guess how that played out?

350
00:13:22.600 --> 00:13:24.100
Bit like Saving Private Ryan?

351
00:13:24.600 --> 00:13:28.040
Another crack squad of horses is sent in...

352
00:13:29.380 --> 00:13:32.460
No! Sailed from Yokohama —

353
00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:34.560
Hold on... this horse served in the Pacific?

354
00:13:34.560 --> 00:13:36.700
Yes, bought at Seoul Racetrack.

355
00:13:36.740 --> 00:13:38.740
Oh yeah, I forgot all that bit. I thought...

356
00:13:38.740 --> 00:13:40.620
In my head it was in Europe. I do apologize.

357
00:13:40.620 --> 00:13:42.080
Horse with a flamethrower!

358
00:13:42.980 --> 00:13:43.480
1950s.

359
00:13:43.480 --> 00:06:13.040
— Ahhh. Korea.
— The Korean War.

360
00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:14.900
Yup.

361
00:13:47.500 --> 00:13:49.660
The ship went through a typhoon.

362
00:13:49.820 --> 00:13:51.100
Horse: still fine.

363
00:13:51.100 --> 00:13:52.940
Horse probably drove the boat.

364
00:13:52.940 --> 00:13:54.540
The entire crew dead...

365
00:13:54.540 --> 00:13:57.340
Horse at the wheel. 'We're getting home!'

411
00:13:57.680 --> 00:13:58.540
[Elevator music]
[Whinny]

367
00:13:58.540 --> 00:14:00.100
In horse, yes.

368
00:14:00.100 --> 00:14:03.500
What was the first problem with getting off in San Francisco?

369
00:14:03.900 --> 00:01:10.380
Seasickness.

370
00:01:10.380 --> 00:01:10.880
Er, no.

371
00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.100
Horse had vommed everywhere.

372
00:14:07.100 --> 00:14:09.040
Not enough gimbals on the boat.

373
00:14:09.040 --> 00:14:11.360
Thing is — yes, you can have a point, that did happen. [DING]

374
00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:13.360
But we're talking problems when we get there.

375
00:14:13.580 --> 00:14:14.540
Scurvy horse.

376
00:14:14.560 --> 00:14:15.060
Nope.

377
00:14:15.260 --> 00:14:16.140
Quarantine?

378
00:14:16.140 --> 00:14:18.620
Er... yeah, I'll give you a point for that. [DING]

379
00:14:18.620 --> 00:14:22.460
Customs were fine, but the Department of Agriculture insisted on full lab tests,

380
00:14:22.460 --> 00:14:26.140
which would make her late for the banquet where she was to be guest of honour.

381
00:14:26.820 --> 00:13:03.480
Two things. One: you're going to argue with a fully armed, combat experienced horse.

382
00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:03.980
Yes.

383
00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:36.060
Two: I'm glad she's going to a banquet where she's a guest and not the main course.

384
00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:37.980
That's true, yes.

385
00:14:37.980 --> 00:14:43.020
Why did the Marines consider that lab test to be a bit of an affront to her honour?

386
00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:45.000
Did she have to pee in a jar?

387
00:14:45.280 --> 00:14:48.800
You know, you're along kind of the right lines there.

388
00:14:48.800 --> 00:14:50.380
It was a blood test, but...

389
00:14:50.580 --> 00:14:51.780
Was it an STD test?

390
00:14:51.780 --> 00:14:52.940
Point! Yes. [DING]

391
00:14:53.140 --> 00:14:53.780
Oh my God.

392
00:14:53.860 --> 00:14:56.980
They were testing for dourine, which is an equine STI.

393
00:14:58.660 --> 00:04:18.140
Did she have it?

394
00:04:18.140 --> 00:04:19.000
No.

395
00:15:00.260 --> 00:15:03.420
She's been away a long time. It did happen a lot, you know.

396
00:15:04.040 --> 00:15:07.320
No, she made it to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball,

397
00:15:07.780 --> 00:15:08.980
in which she rode —

398
00:15:09.520 --> 00:15:10.960
— in a dress! Sorry...

399
00:15:11.980 --> 00:15:13.180
In a ball gown.

400
00:15:13.180 --> 00:15:15.540
What did she get to ride in order to get there?

401
00:15:16.160 --> 00:15:17.600
An even bigger horse!

402
00:15:17.940 --> 00:15:19.240
An open-top carriage.

403
00:15:19.520 --> 00:15:20.320
A carousel.

404
00:15:20.680 --> 00:15:21.180
No, no.

405
00:15:21.180 --> 00:15:23.880
I'll give you a hint: it was not held on the ground floor here.

406
00:15:24.380 --> 00:15:25.100
In a lift?!

407
00:15:25.100 --> 00:15:25.700
In a lift!

408
00:15:25.700 --> 00:15:26.600
They put a horse —

409
00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:28.780
Sorry, this horse has been in combat,

410
00:15:28.780 --> 00:13:57.680
and the most amazing thing is they've put a horse in a lift?

411
00:13:57.680 --> 00:13:58.540
[Elevator music]
[Whinny]

412
00:15:34.360 --> 00:15:37.220
At which point, someone is on the third floor, has been drinking heavily all night,

413
00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:42.160
the lift doors open and there's a horse in a ball gown — with medals...

414
00:15:47.640 --> 00:15:51.240
Puts the bottle down, picks up something stronger...

415
00:15:52.260 --> 00:15:55.700
Congratulations, Chris — you win this week's show.

416
00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:56.740
Hahey!

417
00:15:57.080 --> 00:15:58.200
You win a pigeon!

418
00:15:58.900 --> 00:15:59.540
Just one?

419
00:15:59.540 --> 00:16:01.160
Although you do have to collect it from Trafalgar Square.

420
00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:02.840
Game on!

421
00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:04.900
Bring him his butterfly net!

422
00:16:05.220 --> 00:16:07.840
With that, we say thank you to Chris Joel!

423
00:16:08.180 --> 00:16:09.340
Matt Gray!

424
00:16:09.340 --> 00:16:10.600
And Gary Brannan.

425
00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:12.400
I've been Tom Scott, and we'll see you next time!

426
00:16:13.300 --> 00:10:30.840
He's got the beard, I've got the bulk.

427
00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:31.340
Wow.

428
00:16:19.320 --> 00:16:20.300
That's a slogan there.

429
00:16:20.340 --> 00:16:21.360
Let's make lots of money!

430
00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:23.360
Where's the hyphen in that?

431
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:26.000
I'm trying to diagram the sentence.

432
00:16:27.540 --> 00:16:30.260
Anywhere you can put a hyphen changes it.

433
00:16:30.580 --> 00:16:32.200
Is it an Australian bird?

434
00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:33.320
No, it's not.

435
00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:35.800
If he didn't win a sporting event,

436
00:16:36.140 --> 00:16:38.960
or invent some kind of metalworking process,

437
00:16:38.960 --> 00:16:41.600
then quite frankly I am out of here.

438
00:16:42.520 --> 00:16:44.040
[Translating these subtitles? Add your name here!]