WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.460 This is the Technical Difficulties. We're playing Citation Needed. 2 00:00:03.460 --> 00:00:05.900 Joining me in the studio today: He reads books, you know — it's Chris Joel! 3 00:00:06.020 --> 00:00:06.920 Did I win one? 4 00:00:07.580 --> 00:00:09.320 TOM: Yes! CHRIS: Good, carry on then. 5 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:10.960 Everybody's favourite Gary Brannan — Gary Brannan! 6 00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:12.560 Indebted to *you*, good sir. 7 00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:14.560 And the bounciest man on the internet — Matt Gray! 8 00:00:14.700 --> 00:00:16.140 Good morrow, YouTube. 9 00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:19.900 In front of me, I have a Wikipedia article and these folks can't see it. 10 00:00:19.900 --> 00:00:22.860 Every fact they get right is a point and a ding [DING], 11 00:00:22.860 --> 00:00:25.440 and the special prize for particularly good answers, which is: 12 00:00:27.700 --> 00:00:31.420 Today we are talking about the Centennial Light. 13 00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:35.760 Oooo, that sounds highbrow and commemorative. 14 00:00:37.440 --> 00:00:39.320 As opposed to lowbrow and commemorative. 15 00:00:39.400 --> 00:00:40.620 Lowbrow commemoration! 16 00:00:40.760 --> 00:00:41.660 'Dave's dead.' 221 00:00:41.860 --> 00:00:43.740 [Laughter] 18 00:00:43.740 --> 00:00:45.140 'Back down t' pit!' 19 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:48.200 'We're commemoratin' this with a giant brass arse.' 20 00:00:50.260 --> 00:00:52.240 Thing is, it is neither highbrow nor commemorative, but... 21 00:00:52.500 --> 00:00:54.260 Oh, f***. Is it in Britain? 22 00:00:54.520 --> 00:00:56.120 Er, no. We're over in the US here. 23 00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:57.080 Uh-oh. 24 00:00:57.240 --> 00:00:58.600 Livermore, California. 25 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:01.240 I know what it is! It's the really really old light bulb. 26 00:01:01.340 --> 00:01:03.280 TOM: Point! [DING] In fact... GARY: Balls! 27 00:01:05.960 --> 00:01:07.460 GARY: Hang on a minute! CHRIS: Oh, right... 28 00:01:07.640 --> 00:01:09.160 So how old's this light bulb? 29 00:01:09.260 --> 00:01:10.760 Have a guess. From the name. 30 00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:12.380 Oh, okay. Fair enough, yeah. 31 00:01:12.540 --> 00:01:15.100 No, fair point, actually, because it's obviously more than a hundred, isn't it, now? 32 00:01:15.260 --> 00:01:16.460 Is it Edison's? 33 00:01:16.800 --> 00:01:21.560 No, it's a sixty-watt, mass-produced light bulb from the late 1890s. 34 00:01:21.700 --> 00:01:23.320 MATT: Oh, it's just a bulb... TOM: Still shining. 35 00:01:24.300 --> 00:01:26.720 Is it on all the time, or occasionally? 36 00:01:26.840 --> 00:01:30.900 All the time. It's had a couple of dropouts, when there's been power cuts and they had to... 37 00:01:31.100 --> 00:01:33.340 CHRIS: But the bulb has remained...? TOM: Yeah. 38 00:01:33.620 --> 00:01:36.660 Right! Well, I find this really interesting, 39 00:01:36.660 --> 00:01:39.400 because I read a Thomas Pynchon novel 40 00:01:39.400 --> 00:01:41.780 wherein one of the characters is an immortal light bulb. 41 00:01:41.940 --> 00:01:43.080 Gravity's Rainbow. 42 00:01:43.340 --> 00:01:48.220 Yeah. Which is weird because at the time... it goes into this whole thing. 43 00:01:48.220 --> 00:01:52.300 And it turns out there is a conspiracy amongst the major light bulb manufacturers 44 00:01:52.300 --> 00:01:55.200 to not produce anything that burns too much over a thousand hours, 45 00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:58.140 so that they can keep producing light bulbs. 46 00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:01.620 Er, yeah! That is actually referenced in the article: 47 00:02:01.620 --> 00:02:04.600 It is 'cited as evidence for planned obsolesence'... point. 48 00:02:04.780 --> 00:02:06.380 [DING] Wahey! 49 00:02:06.540 --> 00:02:08.500 Ahh. So it's a light bulb that's never bust. 50 00:02:08.740 --> 00:02:09.560 Yep. 51 00:02:09.860 --> 00:02:13.280 But if you leave it on forever... it's the turning on and off of things that blows them. 52 00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:14.780 That's what does it, innit? Yeah. Yeah. 53 00:02:14.940 --> 00:02:17.140 And if it's on forever then it hasn't had the stress. 54 00:02:17.420 --> 00:02:21.060 I'm trying to think now if I've ever had a light bulb that's gone out while it's been on... 55 00:02:21.240 --> 00:02:22.640 It's always when you turn it on, isn't it. 56 00:02:22.760 --> 00:02:23.900 GARY: Yeah. It is, yeah. 57 00:02:24.180 --> 00:02:25.680 On — plink! Yeah. 58 00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:27.000 I don't think I've ever had a — 59 00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:29.960 Can you imagine after a power cut, turning that bastard back on? 60 00:02:30.060 --> 00:02:32.240 Ah! Right. Yes. 61 00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:36.480 Can you say roughly what the procedures were when they had to move it? 62 00:02:36.640 --> 00:00:41.860 Clench. 221 00:00:41.860 --> 00:00:43.740 [Laughter] 64 00:02:39.780 --> 00:02:42.980 Yeah. Walk like you are about to follow through. 65 00:02:42.980 --> 00:02:45.420 Or you might put it on a trolley, actually, the more I think about it. 66 00:02:45.580 --> 00:02:46.800 Ring the insurance company. 67 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:49.320 Ring the insurance company, certainly... 68 00:02:50.120 --> 00:02:52.360 It's hung up in a fire department. 69 00:02:52.360 --> 00:02:54.500 Does that give you an idea of how they may have moved it? 70 00:02:54.600 --> 00:02:55.660 On a fire engine! 71 00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:56.840 On a Dalmatian! 72 00:02:56.960 --> 00:02:58.800 With a full fire truck escort, yes. Have a point. [DING] 73 00:02:58.940 --> 00:03:01.500 A fire truck actually would make more sense. 74 00:03:01.500 --> 00:03:05.680 You've still got your 'blues and twos' to clear... or reds and whatever noise an American fire truck... 75 00:03:05.800 --> 00:03:07.000 TOM: 'Reds and woos'. 76 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:08.720 Reds and...! 'Woo-woo!' 77 00:03:08.720 --> 00:03:10.100 Have a point! 78 00:03:10.660 --> 00:03:14.180 But you've got all that mass... 79 00:03:14.380 --> 00:03:18.120 which is keeping the thing from bucking around as much. 80 00:03:18.280 --> 00:03:20.380 And if anyone hits it, it's not going to move anywhere. 81 00:03:21.080 --> 00:03:25.100 Yeah. Also, fire engine — electrical device — water. 82 00:03:25.300 --> 00:03:26.920 In a fire, someone's going to be — 83 00:03:27.040 --> 00:03:28.560 It's not going to be on. 84 00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:29.820 Yeah, it's not like the fire engine — 85 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:32.560 No, I don't think it's on in the fire...! I mean when you've got it up in the fire station! 86 00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:36.360 There's going to be someone servicing an extinguisher at some point, and being like, 'Ooh s***!' 87 00:03:36.360 --> 00:03:39.480 Even if you've got it in a little box or something, which I assume you must do. 88 00:03:39.620 --> 00:03:41.400 It was transferred in a box. 89 00:03:41.580 --> 00:03:43.980 Well, naturally! It's not going to be in someone's helmet, is it? 90 00:03:44.120 --> 00:03:45.320 Was it the original box? 91 00:03:45.440 --> 00:03:47.060 TOM: I don't believe so, no. 92 00:03:47.160 --> 00:03:49.460 Is this thing still pristine, 'new in box' when it goes on eBay? 93 00:03:49.580 --> 00:00:41.860 Wrapped in cellophane ready for eBay, yeah. 221 00:00:41.860 --> 00:00:43.740 [Laughter] 95 00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:54.720 'Light Bulb — Condition...' 96 00:03:54.720 --> 00:03:56.560 'Near mint.' [Groans] 97 00:03:56.560 --> 00:03:59.380 'As new. Only 100 years use.' 98 00:03:59.540 --> 00:04:01.560 It's just sat next to a Polo. 99 00:04:04.520 --> 00:04:06.140 What colour is it? 100 00:04:06.700 --> 00:04:07.960 CHRIS and MATT: See-through! 101 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:09.180 It's a light bulb. 102 00:04:09.300 --> 00:04:11.800 That's not a stupid question. It's a fire station. It might be red. 103 00:04:12.300 --> 00:04:13.560 Okay, yes... 104 00:04:13.700 --> 00:04:15.380 No... fire station, not brothel. 105 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:18.080 Yeah. Although... you know. 106 00:04:18.200 --> 00:04:20.680 MATT: What?! TOM: You get the two confused sometimes. 107 00:04:20.840 --> 00:04:22.560 Roxanne got a new job anyway. 108 00:04:23.080 --> 00:04:27.120 She does have to put on the red light now. But only when going to and from a job. 109 00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:28.980 Tesla won't have liked it, will he? 110 00:04:29.280 --> 00:04:33.420 Tesla probably *would* have liked it. Edison wouldn't have admitted that Tesla liked it. 111 00:04:33.560 --> 00:04:36.520 Yes, that's true. Edison would have tried to make money from it, you're absolutely right. 112 00:04:36.620 --> 00:04:38.700 There is a webcam dedicated to — 113 00:04:38.880 --> 00:04:40.340 F***'s sake. 114 00:04:40.740 --> 00:04:42.400 Have a photo! 115 00:04:43.980 --> 00:04:46.400 It's gonna be on until it goes off! 116 00:04:46.980 --> 00:04:49.860 Ah! What happened on the evening of May the 20th, 2013? 117 00:04:49.980 --> 00:04:50.920 Did it turn off? 118 00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:52.240 Yes it did. [DING] 119 00:04:52.700 --> 00:04:54.380 Did it bust, or did it...? 120 00:04:54.500 --> 00:04:56.720 And that was the question. Have a point. [DING] 121 00:04:56.860 --> 00:04:59.580 Because all they know is, the light has gone out. So they called — 122 00:04:59.760 --> 00:05:01.340 Could they not have just thumped the switch? 144 00:05:01.560 --> 00:05:02.760 CHRIS: You know, like prog rock. GARY: Yeah. 124 00:05:02.760 --> 00:05:04.980 Well, no — it's connected to an uninterruptible power supply. 125 00:05:05.820 --> 00:05:07.720 This is a lot of f***ing effort for a light bulb. 126 00:05:07.880 --> 00:05:09.180 They put a UPS on the light bulb? 127 00:05:09.340 --> 00:05:11.220 They put a UPS on the light bulb. You know what happened to that UPS? 128 00:05:11.340 --> 00:05:13.700 MATT: It died. TOM: It was interrupted, yes. 129 00:05:14.560 --> 00:05:16.300 You know why it was interrupted? 130 00:05:16.300 --> 00:05:18.940 Because someone plugged a cord in the wrong socket. 131 00:05:20.180 --> 00:05:22.140 So they've got to very gently turn it back on again. 132 00:05:22.300 --> 00:05:26.340 Yes. Well, I don't think you can gently turn on a light bulb. I don't think that is a thing that's possible to do. 133 00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:27.800 I don't know. I'm not an expert... 134 00:05:28.280 --> 00:05:32.360 I'd say I defer to Matt, but... could you not just sort of have a dimmer switch dealie? 135 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:33.900 I'm thinking dimmer switch. 136 00:05:34.020 --> 00:05:36.360 Just slowly build up the current — I mean, more subtly... 137 00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:40.600 probably use something that digitally manages the amount of current like an electric speed controller. 138 00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:44.200 Probably, but those kind of things induce a load of noise, so that probably wouldn't... 139 00:05:44.340 --> 00:05:45.300 Oh, right. 140 00:05:45.400 --> 00:05:47.340 What's the problem with it being noisy? 141 00:05:47.760 --> 00:05:49.700 You mean a different kind of noise, don't you. 142 00:05:49.860 --> 00:05:51.680 *Electrical* noise. 143 00:05:51.860 --> 00:05:01.560 Ah, scientists. 144 00:05:01.560 --> 00:05:02.760 CHRIS: You know, like prog rock. GARY: Yeah. 145 00:05:56.060 --> 00:05:57.820 So what's the second oldest light bulb, then? 146 00:05:57.820 --> 00:05:59.940 'Cos me Nana's house did have one for a long time. 147 00:06:00.380 --> 00:06:03.620 CHRIS: Actually, our spare storeroom... GARY: Like it. 148 00:06:03.780 --> 00:06:07.980 Yep. We lost the light in the bathroom, so we've got to find something to just do tonight, can't go out... 149 00:06:07.980 --> 00:06:10.800 So we've got this little back storeroom... 150 00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:14.360 Right. Go in, pull it out: "Oh! Old 40-watt!" 151 00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:16.420 Not energy-saving or anything else... 152 00:06:16.420 --> 00:06:20.520 Well, they've been "illegal" for however long now... 153 00:06:20.520 --> 00:06:24.600 I was like, "Oh well, that's quite odd..." Woolworths branded. 154 00:06:24.780 --> 00:06:26.000 ALL: Ohhh... 155 00:06:26.200 --> 00:06:28.780 ...which tells its own story. So I think we're in with a shout for second place. 156 00:06:28.980 --> 00:06:31.720 That's the question now. Someone is out there that potentially has the second... 157 00:06:31.880 --> 00:06:35.300 Well, you've actually got a list here, and I'm not kidding... 158 00:06:35.420 --> 00:06:36.960 Oh, someone's made one... 159 00:06:37.120 --> 00:06:42.020 'Longest-lasting light bulbs' is indeed a Wikipedia thing. 160 00:06:42.200 --> 00:06:43.700 Is there one in this country we can go visit? 161 00:06:43.860 --> 00:06:49.180 Er... no, the second place one, according to the Guinness Book of Records, is in Fort Worth, Texas, 162 00:06:49.180 --> 00:06:52.920 at the Byers Opera House, above the backstage door. 163 00:06:52.920 --> 00:06:55.900 Third one's in New York City, installed in 1912. 164 00:06:55.900 --> 00:07:01.040 What did the owner try and do to raise his profile? Of the light bulb... 165 00:07:01.220 --> 00:07:03.260 Gave it a Facebook profile. 166 00:07:03.420 --> 00:07:05.640 ...to get up the listings somewhat? 167 00:07:05.780 --> 00:07:08.660 Go around smashing second and first place. 168 00:07:08.660 --> 00:07:11.440 He's the one that plugged the cable in wrong for the Centennial Light. 169 00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:13.000 GARY: [Gasps] CHRIS: Dun dun dunnn! Scandal. 170 00:07:13.140 --> 00:07:15.600 That is such a thing, isn't it? That could happen. 171 00:07:15.740 --> 00:07:17.200 Did he edit Wikipedia? 172 00:07:17.380 --> 00:07:21.080 No, he just wrote to all the agencies saying that it was a fraud, 173 00:07:21.080 --> 00:07:23.540 because he was an electrical engineer and the socket wasn't old enough. 174 00:07:23.980 --> 00:07:26.540 Ohhh, smear campaign. 175 00:07:26.660 --> 00:07:29.740 It was essentially a smear campaign. Do you know what happened to this in the end? 176 00:07:29.880 --> 00:07:31.640 GARY: No one cared. MATT: No one gave a s***. 177 00:07:31.780 --> 00:07:36.220 No one knows. The store and the entire block on which it stood was torn down in 2003. 178 00:07:36.340 --> 00:07:39.100 Ah. That's unlikely to achieve a win now, isn't it? 179 00:07:39.340 --> 00:07:40.880 Did someone save the light bulb, though? 180 00:07:41.040 --> 00:07:44.180 Well, there's also the question of whether the light bulb needs to be turned on to count. 181 00:07:44.420 --> 00:07:47.620 Yes, of course it f***ing does! It's not a light bulb then, is it? 182 00:07:47.780 --> 00:07:49.080 Well, it is, as an object... 183 00:07:49.200 --> 00:07:51.720 Whoa! Oh, wow. There's a deep philosophical question in there. 184 00:07:51.860 --> 00:07:54.600 If a light bulb is off in a forest, is it still a light bulb? 185 00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:59.260 No, the prize has got to be oldest working light bulb or bust. Because there's tons of old light bulbs. 186 00:07:59.460 --> 00:08:03.980 Yeah, but 'oldest working' could have been brand new in box from a hundred years ago... 187 00:08:03.980 --> 00:08:06.780 Switch it on, it works: Oh, I've just instantly gone ahead. 188 00:08:06.780 --> 00:08:08.800 Rather than one that's been on-off-on-off... 189 00:08:09.200 --> 00:08:13.040 I just think... in fairness, the other one has been on. 190 00:08:13.200 --> 00:08:13.920 Yeah. 191 00:08:14.100 --> 00:08:17.900 But otherwise, you could just trump it with a light bulb you've had up your arse for a hundred years. 192 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:19.700 I like how you said 'trumpet'. 193 00:08:19.960 --> 00:08:22.980 Brannan: official arbiter of the Light Bulb Wars. 194 00:08:23.220 --> 00:08:25.560 The fifth longest-lasting light bulb... 195 00:08:25.560 --> 00:08:26.840 Ipswitch. 196 00:08:26.980 --> 00:08:28.520 Aaah! Let's go! 197 00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:32.660 In England. The Martin & Newby Electrical Shop. Dated from the 1930s... 198 00:08:32.660 --> 00:08:34.800 Burned out in January 2001. 199 00:08:35.000 --> 00:00:41.860 It's him! It's your man with the friggin' light bulbs is doing it! 221 00:00:41.860 --> 00:00:43.740 [Laughter] 201 00:08:38.680 --> 00:08:41.500 All these say, building gets torn down, other one burns out... 202 00:08:41.500 --> 00:08:43.180 He's going round one by one! 203 00:08:43.300 --> 00:08:46.000 This is drifting into Pynchon-novel territory again. 204 00:08:46.180 --> 00:08:47.240 GARY: Yeah! 205 00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:48.560 Now, you mentioned Edison... 206 00:08:48.860 --> 00:08:49.880 Oh. Yeh. 207 00:08:50.020 --> 00:08:51.400 GARY: Actually, I mentioned Edison. 208 00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:54.200 He designed a bulb that was supposed to last forever. What was it called? 209 00:08:54.340 --> 00:08:55.060 Dave. 210 00:08:55.240 --> 00:08:56.560 Everbulb. 211 00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:58.100 Osram. 212 00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:00.040 No, they're part of the conspiracy. 213 00:09:00.260 --> 00:09:02.760 The Magnificent Bulb of Eternity. 214 00:09:02.920 --> 00:09:04.640 I'll give you the point. Eternal Light. [DING] 215 00:09:04.640 --> 00:09:07.940 It's in the Memorial Tower at the Edison Memorial Museum. 216 00:09:08.100 --> 00:09:09.460 Has it broke? 217 00:09:09.800 --> 00:09:13.740 Er... it still kind of works, but there is a slight problem with it. 218 00:09:14.040 --> 00:09:18.640 Its filament's about that big across, and it needs 200,000 volts to get it to do anything. 219 00:09:18.760 --> 00:09:19.660 Nope, nope. 220 00:09:19.780 --> 00:00:41.860 Is it evil? 221 00:00:41.860 --> 00:00:43.740 [Laughter] 222 00:09:20.940 --> 00:09:21.760 [Laughter] TOM: Nope. 223 00:09:21.860 --> 00:09:22.660 Radiation. 224 00:09:22.800 --> 00:09:23.820 Ooh. No, no... 225 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:24.940 Cancer. 226 00:09:25.120 --> 00:09:28.120 There's a slightly bigger problem with its claim to be the longest light bulb. 227 00:09:28.280 --> 00:09:29.480 Never been switched on ever. 228 00:09:29.620 --> 00:09:31.100 It just isn't. 229 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:32.980 It just isn't. It's entirely fake. [DING] 230 00:09:33.280 --> 00:09:37.880 It's got a series of automobile headlights around the bottom that just make it look like it's turned on. 231 00:09:38.120 --> 00:09:39.660 GARY: Aaargh. 232 00:09:39.940 --> 00:09:42.500 As you said, Edison — bit of a cheat. 233 00:09:42.640 --> 00:09:43.340 Yeees. 234 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.200 So that brings us to the end of the show... 235 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:48.920 Congratulations, Gary! You win this time. 236 00:09:49.020 --> 00:09:49.820 CHRIS: Boo. 237 00:09:49.960 --> 00:09:53.520 You win this sandwich grill that emblazons collectible images of footballers into your bread. 238 00:09:53.680 --> 00:09:55.120 It's a Panini Sticker Press. 239 00:09:56.820 --> 00:09:58.500 Americans... I'm sorry. 240 00:09:59.480 --> 00:10:02.160 TOM: That has been Chris Joel... CHRIS: Goodbye. 241 00:10:02.280 --> 00:10:03.240 TOM: Gary Brannan. GARY: Good evening. 242 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:04.440 TOM: Matt Gray... MATT: Bye! 243 00:10:04.560 --> 00:10:07.260 I've been Tom Scott. That's been the Technical Difficulties, and we'll see you next time. 244 00:10:09.760 --> 00:10:11.000 Mickey Johnson — Johnson Mickey. 245 00:10:13.100 --> 00:10:14.700 Dick Willie — Willie Dick. 246 00:10:15.300 --> 00:10:16.180 TOM: Will he? 247 00:10:16.320 --> 00:10:17.040 GARY: Dunno. 248 00:10:17.340 --> 00:10:19.080 No... he was killed by a stinger. 249 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:21.920 This is a coffin ray, so it kills with...? 250 00:10:22.160 --> 00:10:23.560 Coffins! 251 00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:26.620 Just chucking boxes at folk. 252 00:10:26.620 --> 00:10:29.160 Shark... 'Come on! I'll 'ave yer!' 253 00:10:29.640 --> 00:10:33.560 ...the tune that Blur did that landed on Mars with Beagle 2. 254 00:10:33.680 --> 00:10:35.260 It didn't land — well, it did land! 255 00:10:35.380 --> 00:10:36.180 It landed! 256 00:10:36.320 --> 00:10:39.140 It landed at high velocity. Downwards. 257 00:10:39.380 --> 00:10:42.080 I know there's a thin line between 'landing' and 'impact'. 258 00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:44.400 I tell that to the wife all the time.