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This is the Technical Difficulties, we're

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playing Citation Needed. Joining me in the studio today, he reads books, you know it's Chris Joel!

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Hello!

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Everybody's favourite Gary Brannan, Gary Brannan!

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Good evening...!

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And the bounciest man on the internet, Matt Gray!

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Hello YouTube...

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In front of me, I have an article from Wikipedia, and these folks can't see it. All...

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Matt!

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Every fact they get right is a point and a ding [DING].

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And theres a special prize for particularly good answers which is...

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So undignified.

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Today's article is Thomas Trueblood.

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That's a fine Victorian name, I'm thinking...

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Uh, you're right. Yes...

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Born...I'll give you a point for that.

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Thank you! [DING]

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Born 1856.

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Was he an engineer?

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No...not at all, quite the opposite, in fact.

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A demolitions expert!

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Okay, not literally the opposite.

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Was he going around mills, letting the steam out?

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Fly free, water vapour! Begone from your...

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Thomas Trueblood. So...Victorian not-an-engineer...

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Yeah...he's very much in the liberal arts.

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Author.

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Uh, no. Not really. More to do with, um, spoken word than the written word.

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Was he president of the British Shouting Association?

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Oh...you're not close enough for a point...but you're in the right area.

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American Oratorial Society.

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I will give you the point there. [DING] He's a Professor of Oratory and Elocution.

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And somehow I said that really, really, eloquently, because...

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-- Oratory and elocution.
-- Elocution, darling(!)

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Yes...

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Um, Trueblood gave dramatic readings around the world.

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He did a performance of Hamlet.

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What might have been special about that?

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All he did was rent out some pork products

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Ham-let. Jesus(!)

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I want it back, sithee...

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Oh sorry, elocution. I would like that back when you're finished with it.

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First radio performance of Hamlet?

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Little bit early for that, sadly. We're...1908.

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First slapstick performance of Hamlet?

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Chuckle Brothers' Hamlet.

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To me, to you...

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Do we have to explain the Chuckle Brothers to the rest of the internet?

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-- No.
-- They can Google it...it's fine.

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Don't Google it!

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Yeah, do!

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Don't!

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It was simply a one-man, abridged production.

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Was it just really short?

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I quote here, "It is his plan to keep the principal scenes of the play, narrating the unimportant parts."

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Like it!

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He literally just skipped the boring bits.

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"Hamlet, the highlights."

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Yup!

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I could do that...I could do that kind of Shakespeare!

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"Everybody dies."

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"Hamlet."

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"Everybody dies..."

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"Romeo and Juliet."

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Yeah.

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The most notable thing in this article is just titled...

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"The Jam Handy incident."

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Who is Jam Handy?

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Well, that is literally the question I would like to ask you.

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Because it's a name!

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I assume it's some precursor to the Hamburglar.

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I'm for your delicious conserves!

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"You can't stop me, Trueblood. Why...I don't know why you run a conserve business...

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"but you see where I'm driving at..."

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"You see where we're going with this..."

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Did he savagely put down Jam Handy in a debate?

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Ooh, yes. Sure.

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Was this a scandal because Jam Handy was of the upper class and Trueblood was of the middle class?

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Well, you wouldn't want to fight him...

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'cause Jam Handy's damn handy!

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It's a wonderful plot...

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but no it's not.

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Jam Handy was a freshman student,

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17 years old.

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Henry Jamison Handy,

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hence Jam Handy.

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Yeah, if I had that kind of a name, I think I'd go with Jam Handy as well, so yeah.

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He got a bronze in the 1904 Olympics.

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Was that the Olympics where they had to stop the marathon, because the bloke drove a car and won it?

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Um, give me a moment...

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There was one of those Olympics where the marathon was called off

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'cause some bloke blatantly ran the first hundred yards, got in a car, drove it

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That's much more common in the Tour de France in the early years as well.

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Yeah.

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Gary...

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No way!

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Nice!

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Really?

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Smooth!

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1904 Summer Olympics,  Frederick Lorz rode the rest of the way

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in a car, to retrieve his clothes, after dropping out after nine miles.

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So he dropped out at nine miles, rode the rest of the way,

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then the car broke down at mile 19, and he just started jogging again!

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To be fair, Lorz went on to win the Boston marathon, but the actual winner

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was a Brit called Thomas Hicks

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who was a Brit running for the US.

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But he had been...

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doped, it would be in modern terms.

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He was supported by his trainers when he crossed the finish...

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What had they given him?

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Brandy!

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Yes! [DING]

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Spot on with brandy. Have the point. What had they mixed it with?

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Beans!

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Cocaine!

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Ketamine!

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Margarine!

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Rat poison.

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Bollocks!

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-- What?!
-- Harsh!

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Strychnine sulfate.

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Right...

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Poisoned you in just the right way, if done in just the right amount?

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Yup!

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He possibly would have died in the stadium, had he not been treated by several doctors.

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Why did you say brandy?

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Because it just seems to be...
it's just the standard pick-me-up.

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Again, 'cause I do cycling and follow cycling...

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Early days of the Tour de France...

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Stop, have a brandy, crack back on!

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It's traditional sort of mind, brain, and nerve tonic. You know...

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It gets worse. 'Cause we had Frederick Lorz, rode some of the way in a car...

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Thomas Hicks, technically won,
but doped by modern terms

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Felix Carvajal -- I might've mispronounced that --
is a Cuban postman.

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Arrived at the last minute, ran in his street clothes. What kind of slowed him down?

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His bag full of post.

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And his hat.

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Getting attacked by every dog on the way.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Getting it off all the ladies on the way.

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Oh hang on, yeah.

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He just picked up a sarnie on the way?

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Not quite a sarnie...

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Tackled a cow!

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Had a bite.

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No, not quite. It was a vegetable, rather than an animal

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Potato?

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He stood in a marrow?

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Just clomped along with it on his foot!

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"I've been attacked by a squash!"

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"How am I meant to run in these marrowy clogs?!"

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What do I need this for?

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I mean the clogs are the main problem there, really.

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I mean, I know technically the Dutch marathon team do use them, but...

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Can you imagine...

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the best thing about the English language...

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nowhere else in the world is anyone going to yell today...

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"How do I win in these marrowy clogs?"

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Marrowy Clogs actually came fifth.

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Right now, we need to smash cut to somewhere in the Netherlands.

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"How do I run in these marrowy clogs?!"

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"No one else say that today..."

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No, he stopped off to have some apples that he took from an orchard.

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Why did those actually slow him down a little bit?

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Arsenic poisoning?

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Uh...why arsenic?

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There's...in apple seeds is that arsenic?

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-- Cyanide.
-- Cyanide! Sorry, wrong thing, right idea.

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Were they a lot of crab apples?

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Did they give him...like a dodgy tummy?

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Um, they did give him a dodgy tummy.

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They were just rotten.

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Oh, you idiots.

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Well that wasn't very bright...

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You would know if you picked up a rotten apple!

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He had to lie down and take a nap!

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And here's the thing...

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this is why you say 1904...this is possibly why it stuck in your head,

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because there were so many things...

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despite that, he finished fourth!

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How?!

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So someone's had a nap, the other guy got in the car...

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So presumably he actually finished second because the first two cheated...

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Well, uh, no. The guy who...

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Doping wasn't technically an offense at that point.

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Oh, okay.

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There wasn't synthetic drugs there, they'd given him an incredibly dangerous cocktail

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and no one had thought to put that in the rules.

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Is this all the same race?

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This is all the same race!

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This is the 1904 Olympic marathon.

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Now you said, "Was he chased by dogs?"

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The postman wasn't...

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one of the other runners was!

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Nearly a mile off course.

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Um, one of the first two black Africans to compete in the Olympics.

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Uh, Len Tau was chased a mile off course by aggressive dogs.

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You've got a dog Benny Hill,

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you've got a man cheating in a car,

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you've got a bloke on brandy,

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another guy who's had a nap.

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And they weren't even part of the Olympics!

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The Africans running the marathon, they just...

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they were students from South Africa who'd been brought over as part of an exhibit on the Boer War

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that was next to the Olympics!

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Had they just thought "We'll have a go."

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"We'll have a go!"

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"It's only 26 miles."

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Why...why has this not been serialized for television?!

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Guys, I think we found the format...

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Yes!

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Um, a long time ago, folks, we were talking about Jam Handy.

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Oh, we were!

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Oh, what was he about again?

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Refresh my memory.

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He got a bronze in the 1904 Olympics in swimming.

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But what we're actually talking about is what he did to Thomas Trueblood.

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Did he heckle him in a particularly hilarious fashion?

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Um, not in person.

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Started a scandal about him.

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Ooh, yeah, surely.

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Yes, have a point. [DING]

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-- Yay!
-- Yes.

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"Once mispronounced something...
if you know what I mean."

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I'm going to give you another point, because it really is [DING] "if you know what I mean".

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Trueblood was teaching, and I'm going to quote here,

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"The delivery of short extracts from masterpieces of oratory".

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Which was from a scene from a play,

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in which a man kneels in front of a woman, pleading for her hand.

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Okay?

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Nothing particularly off-colour about that.

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Unfortunately, Handy then wrote an article for a newspaper.

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Does anyone want to guess what he actually said was going on there?

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Oh! Some kind of dirty filth?

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That was not fit for the stage.

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Yeah, you can have a point there. [DING]

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He said that students at Ann Arbor were taking lessons in lovemaking.

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A lesson in Victorian lovemaking would be: man is knelt in that fashion,

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lights go off,

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someone goes ouch, lights come back on,

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she's got a baby.

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That's basically how it works in those days, I think. That's accurate.

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It's how it works now, isn't it?

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That article did the 1900s equivalent of going viral, because...

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Sold three copies!

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Yeah, well every...the local newspaper picked it up, then the national newspaper picked it up,

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and all of a sudden, Trueblood is sitting there,

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in his superior's office
with all these cuttings around him going

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"I didn't do this!"

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I quote here, from the Chicago Tribune...

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"Trueblood has nearly worn out his trousers at the knees."

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You've got to pay your way through college somehow...

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We've all been there, eh, fellows?

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Um, what did Handy...

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Um, Handy went on to do many things,

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um, he went on to be athletic.

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What was his main job?

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Parachutist.

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Public Relations.

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Aww...

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There's this lovely picture here of the last...

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00:10:19.700 --> 00:10:23.900
you know the vanity card, the last thing you see, when the logo comes up, and the...

264
00:10:23.900 --> 00:10:25.400
Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah

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"A Jam Handy picture."

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At the end of the show, uh...

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Oh! It's over! Thank God it's over!

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Congratulations, Chris! You win this week.

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Yay!

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You win a miniature library,

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to be inserted rectally

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from which you can shoot the President of the United States.

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It's a "Texas Book Suppository".

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I was with you... I was against you...
It's just about come back...

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Thank you very much to Chris Joel.

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Thank you very much.

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To Gary Brannan.

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To Matt Gray.

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Buh bye!

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That's been the Technical Difficulties,

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I've been Tom Scott,

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and we'll see you next time!

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[Translating these subtitles? Add your name here!]