WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Today's show is sponsored by
Simon Cowell's Owl Towels!

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Made with real owls.

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This is the Technical Difficulties.
We're playing Citation Needed.

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I have an almost randomly selected article

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from everybody's favorite
reliable source of knowledge, Wikipedia,

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and these folks can't see it.

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Every fact they get right is a point and a ding [DING],

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And there's a special prize
for particularly good answers, which is:

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Oh my!

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And today we are talking about...
The Arctic Winter Games.

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Oh ho ho ho *ho* ho!

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What the hell was that?

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That's one of the events.

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Yeah!

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Best chuckle.

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In a cold environment.

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It's probably gonna be pretty parky out,

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so I'd imagine your outdoor events
would be pretty quick, really.

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You need a hearty chuckle to warm you up.

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You would; a hearty, belly chuckle.

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Who's he?

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He's the Chuckle Brother!

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You're right, though, it is very cold.

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Do you know where it's being hosted this year?

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— Errr... the Arctic.
— The Arctic.

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GARY: You made this mistake...
CHRIS: Twice in as many shows.

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It's actually not in the Arctic this year.

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Well, that's a load of balls then!

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Is it in the Antarctic?

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No.

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Oh. Are we talking, it's not in the Arctic
but on some kind of technicality, the nearest place?

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It's just below the Arctic.

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GARY: Yeaaah, right.

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Is that the old name for the Winter Olympics,
and is it in Sochi?

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— No, it's not.
— Okay.

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— No, not at all.
— Oh, good shout though. Good shout.

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Svalbard!

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These are entirely different games.

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What could be so different that you can't do...?

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I imagine this is crazy stuff
like hollowing out your own canoe.

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We'll get to games in a minute.
First, where is it?

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Tromsø? Alaska?

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CHRIS: Greenland?
TOM: Fairbanks, Alaska. Point to you. [DING]

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Oookay.

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And you asked who was going to be involved in this...

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Well, the catch here is that it's not for the world, it's for...

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...Inuit and other indigenous peoples only.

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Point. It's for all the cultures around the Arctic. [DING]

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Ahh.

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Can someone tell me any of the contingents,

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rather than countries,
that are coming from all around the world...?

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So the people that live in Greenland, and all the...

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Yeah. Greenland is a contingent, yep. Point. [DING]

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And Canada?

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Northwest Territories, yep, another point. [DING]

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Finland, Lapland?

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— The Sami people.
— Yes. Finland.

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— So the general area up there, yeah. [DING]
— Yes.

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The Yukon's coming up from Canada...

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The Yamalo-Nenets from Russia.

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MATT: That is a lovely word.
CHRIS: Cool.

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It is. I say, it's...

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It's like I'm saying,
'Oh yes, the Wiltshire Yamalo-Nenets.'

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'I know them... didn't they own most of Cheshire?'

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This from the Yamalo-Nenets Autonomous Okrug.

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Okr... aw, you can't have 'Yamalo-Nenets'
and then tip it off with 'Okrug' on the end.

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I've got an ok-rug in my hall.

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[Laughter]

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So, we may as well get to this, then:

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What kind of events are being played
at the Arctic Winter Games?

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That aren't — I mean, there's the obvious ones, yes.

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There's alpine skiing, and there's figure skating,

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there's ice hockey and the games to do with that.

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What are the ones you wouldn't find at the Olympics?

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So is it speed snow structure building?
Out of snow bricks?

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Speed-gloo!

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Ooh. It's a good idea, but no.

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Iditarod? Dog sled racing?

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Yes! Dog mushing. [DING]

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Erm... snowmobile racing.

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Ohh!

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Ooh. Now that'd be lovely...
There is no mechanically assisted ones in here.

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There's biathlon, in which you have
a gun to mechanically assist...

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Is there a Flintstones-style snowmobile?
[Laughter]

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That's called alpine skiing,
and I'm giving you a point for it. [DING]

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That'd be great, though.
Snowmobile racing would look brilliant.

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Well, X Games, they do it, don't they? Winter X Games?

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Yeah. There are a couple you wouldn't expect in here,

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which are very much more...

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Elementary rocketry.

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...indoor sport.

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Squash.

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— Erm... close...
— Yes.

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— Badminton.
— Point! [DING] Thank you.

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What! F*** off!
I say 'elementary rocketry' — not right.

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— He says 'badminton'...
— Yup.

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At least that's a sport!
[Laughter]

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CHRIS: True, that's true...
GARY: Are you telling me rocketry is not a sport?

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It's not in the X Games yet.

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Eh, it should be.

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I don't know if they have, like,
a Double X Games, for the...

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— Or Triple X Games, I was just thinking that...
— Triple X Games!

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Now that I would pay to see.

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MATT: You'd probably have to pay.
GARY: You probably would have to, yes!

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In fact, I'm fairly certain,
should any of our viewers Google that,

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you will in fact be able to pay to see that.

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Now, there's one here
which you're never going to get the name of,

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which is called 'Dene Games', D-E-N-E.

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I may be pronouncing that wrong; it may be Dené.
[NB: It is.]

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And there is no reference to this anywhere on Wikipedia,

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so before we started, I went out
and had a look at what these are.

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And these are traditional forms of competition
of the Northern cultures.

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Okay.

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Do you want to guess what they are?

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Because they are interesting, to say the least.

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Are they sports?

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Is this where you end up with
weird things like toe-wrestling and...

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Oh! You know, you're pretty damn close.

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— Yeah.
— Yeah.

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— Yeah.
— It's that kind of thing.

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Thumb wars, that kind of thing.

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So I'm going to give you the names,

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if you can tell me what this involves...

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Stick Pull.

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Is that where you try...

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Oh... two guys holding a greased stick, isn't it?

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Something like that, pulling against each other?

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It's not greased, but yeah.
It's the one who ends up with the stick wins,

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Or the one who drags
the other person's hand past them.

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Oh, all right, okay...

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Yeah, because I've seen that. I think they do that
up on one of the northern Scottish isles as well.

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Oh, right.

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Because that culture feeds in
from Nordic and things as well.

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— Yes, it will, yeah...
— So I think I've seen that one.

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How about Finger Pull?

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Pull my finger!

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Well, you could — I mean...

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You know what? Point. [DING]

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Is it who pulls the finger and farts loudest?
Seriously, tell me.

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— No. No it's not.
— Oh, come on...

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Is it like a game of peanuts?

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Have you each got hold of
the other person's one finger and...

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— Yep.
— First one to scream out loses?

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It's not first one to scream out.
I'm giving you the point... [DING]

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It's the first one to —
well, they take turns defensive and offensive.

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It's the first person to straighten the other person's finger.

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— Ohhh!
— Ohhh!

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And according to the thing I'm looking at,
they have buckets of ice water on hand...

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There is a judge who's making sure
you're not doing jerking motions

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that will dislocate something, but other than that...

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CHRIS: It's a smooth sort of...
TOM: Yeah.

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Woooh.

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That sounds quite painful, actually.

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It almost... well, right, I'll, er...
I'll happily try...

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— Everybody... it's live Finger Pull.
— Do you want to make sure we're in shot here?

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Hang on, we need to commentate.

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Hold on. Right, let me see how this goes.

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I can't even see because of...!

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I think... I wrap my finger round like that...

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— Tom Scott, wrapping his...
— (There we go. And now I have to try...)

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— Tom Scott is going for an offensive...
— (Ugh!)

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— Who's offensive, who's defensive?
— I'm offensive!

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GARY: Tom Scott is offensive. We all knew this anyway.
CHRIS: I do find him offensive.

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Erm, he's pulling very hard on Matt Gray's finger...

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That's actually surprisingly difficult.

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— Let's try it the other way.
— Okay, yeah. Go.

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Okay, and Matt Gray now offensive...

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— Aagh!
— Ah! Well, that lasted.

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Okay! Matt is better at this game than I am.
[Laughter]

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Quite easy, really.

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Does anyone want to make a comment
about the strength of Matt Gray's right hand?

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Anyone?

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Not me, at the moment...
[Laughter]

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...sit here and be a little bit
disappointed in myself...

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Well, everybody...
Matt, we've found where you're going next.

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It's the Ice Games for you.

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As Britain's representative in the Finger Pull.

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[Laughter]

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Can you imagine,
you're the country's champion finger-puller?

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How many fetes and stuff are you ever gonna open?

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Pull my finger?
[Laughter]

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Oh, that's a sponsorship, if ever there was one.

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Erm... Pole Push.

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— Do you push a pole?
— Is it where you push a pole?

185
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You do, but I'm going to need more than that...

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Have you got two teams
trying to hold it up or something?

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— I'm going to give you the point there, Gary.
— Oh, wow, okay.

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It's basically reverse tug-of-war. [DING]

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— In that, rather than trying to pull the team past...
— Okay yeah, you're trying to drive the other team...

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You're trying to drive the other team past...

191
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A back marker rather than a centre marker.

192
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I like the idea of people who play these games

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going to see a tug-of-war contest
and yelling that 'You're doing it wrong!'

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'Wrong way, you fools!'

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There are two more in this category.

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One is Hand Games.

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And this is the simplest damn thing,

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and I can play it right now if there is,
er, something around here... here we go.

199
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We can literally play Hand Games right now...

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Tom's opened his wallet. Bloody hell.

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TOM: Which hand?
MATT: Right hand.
GARY: Left.

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Therefore, one of us wins.

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Matt Gray wins! Point. [DING]

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Seriously?
[Laughter]

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That is the Hand Games.

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And there are all sorts of regulations
on what you can and cannot do as a distraction.

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Like have a live fish in your hand when you open it.

208
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— Yeah.
— Magic.

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I want to see that in a stadium
of eighty thousand people.

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Yeah!

211
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All I'm seeing is a slightly more interesting
version of watching Derren Brown.

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Aw, he'd be banned outright, wouldn't he,
the wizard. The sorcerer.

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He'd have in one hand, no coin,
and in the other hand,

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a coin that then disappears
and reappears in the other.

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Magicians.

216
00:08:07.820 --> 00:08:11.040
The last one is the wonderfully titled Snow Snake.

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Heh heh, right.

218
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That's not a cock joke, Gary.

219
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Oh, I think you'll find it is.
[Laughter]

220
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Please tell me it's a spitting cobra covered in snow.

221
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No.

222
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Crawl as far as you can in the snow, on your belly.

223
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You're not crawling, yourself.

224
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— No, I'm not. I'm sat in a chair.
— Your wife.

225
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Drag someone through the snow,
make it look like they're crawling.

226
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No, you're definitely...
You're getting an object to move through the snow.

227
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A snake.

228
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— No.
— A rock.

229
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Stick?

230
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Cocktail stick.

231
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I'm going to let you have 'stick'. Spear. [DING].

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Oh, all right. Okay, yeah.

233
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Er, so you've got...

234
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Do you glide it along the ground?

235
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Underhand spear slide sort of affair.

236
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And a point for underhand. [DING]

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— You've won the Freedom of the City.
— Ah!

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00:08:48.400 --> 00:08:49.980
— Ah!
— Exactly right. That is Snow Snake.

239
00:08:50.140 --> 00:08:51.560
GARY: Well, it couldn't be overarm, could it.
MATT: It's like long curling.

240
00:08:51.720 --> 00:08:52.600
That's spearing.

241
00:08:52.740 --> 00:08:53.960
Thunk! 'Oh, no.'

242
00:08:54.580 --> 00:08:58.460
You have an icy surface,
and you see how far you can send your spear.

243
00:08:58.600 --> 00:08:59.380
Cool!

244
00:08:59.520 --> 00:09:00.720
There is another set of games...

245
00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:02.700
So you have the Arctic Winter Games,
you have the Winter Olympics,

246
00:09:02.700 --> 00:09:07.820
and then you also have
the World Eskimo Indian Olympics, WEIO...

247
00:09:08.660 --> 00:09:11.320
which is held in July or August.

248
00:09:11.620 --> 00:09:12.300
Ah?

249
00:09:12.440 --> 00:09:16.920
Which is 'games rooted in ancestral
hunting and survival techniques'.

250
00:09:16.920 --> 00:09:21.000
Does anyone want to take a guess
on a couple of the events that are...

251
00:09:21.300 --> 00:09:22.680
Laugh at Bear Grylls.

252
00:09:26.400 --> 00:09:28.400
Real Life Canoe Battleship.

253
00:09:29.580 --> 00:09:31.340
— Wait, what?
— 'F-3!'

254
00:09:31.540 --> 00:09:33.140
Yeah! Lob a rock.

255
00:09:35.720 --> 00:09:38.640
Just a big tarpaulin hung over the middle,
with a little, I dunno...

256
00:09:38.640 --> 00:09:42.300
a little ice pool or something,
and bunging rocks over the side, yeah.

257
00:09:43.980 --> 00:09:45.980
— Are either of us right?
— No!

258
00:09:46.760 --> 00:09:48.060
Not even close.

259
00:09:48.220 --> 00:09:50.280
There is a game called Drop The Bomb.

260
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:53.340
Is that where you go s*** in someone's front yard?

261
00:09:57.820 --> 00:09:59.820
Because on ice, you would need the grip and everything

262
00:09:59.820 --> 00:10:01.520
to be able to get away with that, wouldn't you.
[Laughter]

263
00:10:01.520 --> 00:10:03.780
Not leaving footprints and stuff that can be traced.

264
00:10:05.820 --> 00:10:08.040
Er, Drop the Bomb.
No, it's, erm...

265
00:10:08.040 --> 00:10:11.720
A person kind of lying face down,
arms outstretched as a cross...

266
00:10:11.860 --> 00:10:14.000
— Right...
— Three spotters position them,

267
00:10:14.220 --> 00:10:17.620
Participant tightens all their muscles,
the spotters lift the body...

268
00:10:17.620 --> 00:10:20.780
and have to carry them as far as possible
before their arms sag

269
00:10:20.780 --> 00:10:22.880
and they can't hold themselves in that position any more.

270
00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:27.020
MATT: Ah... I think we did that at school.
GARY: We are trying this *now*.

271
00:10:27.540 --> 00:10:29.540
We also have the Ear Pull.

272
00:10:29.780 --> 00:10:31.260
Does anyone want to take a guess how that works?

273
00:10:31.260 --> 00:10:32.220
Er, that's...!

274
00:10:32.340 --> 00:10:34.340
Is it something a bit like that?

275
00:10:35.640 --> 00:10:36.660
It is, isn't it?

276
00:10:37.140 --> 00:10:38.120
...point. [DING]

277
00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:42.780
Not strictly. There are two people
sitting down facing each other,

278
00:10:42.780 --> 00:10:45.040
with twine looped around each other's ears.

279
00:10:45.180 --> 00:10:46.840
GARY: Ooo.
CHRIS: Oh yeah, I've seen this one as well, actually.

280
00:10:47.000 --> 00:05:38.160
MATT: Yes, I've seen that.
CHRIS: Yeah and you pull away like that.

281
00:05:38.160 --> 00:10:50.820
TOM: Yeah.
CHRIS: Yeah, I've seen this one on the telly as well.

282
00:10:51.260 --> 00:10:52.640
How's it work then? So...

283
00:10:52.840 --> 00:10:55.380
It's just a loop of string that
hooks round the back of your ears,

284
00:10:55.380 --> 00:10:57.260
and you just pull away.

285
00:10:57.720 --> 00:10:59.720
And it says here, it is 'stamina to pain'.

286
00:11:00.900 --> 00:11:04.780
That is all it is. It's an endurance competition
rather than speed or agility.

287
00:11:05.160 --> 00:11:07.380
You see, and they all laughed
when you got that dodgy Sky subscription

288
00:11:07.380 --> 00:11:09.180
to the Indigenous Peoples' Satellite Network.

289
00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:13.220
I don't know how I've seen all these things!
But several of them I've seen, yeah.

290
00:11:13.400 --> 00:11:15.920
You just — at one point, have you got
a 'lost week' or something?

291
00:11:16.100 --> 00:11:18.100
More than one.
[Laughter]

292
00:11:19.020 --> 00:11:22.160
Now the photograph's going to come up
of you competing in the events.

293
00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:26.060
I don't remember any of this!
I've got all these medals, though...

294
00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:28.520
'He is from the South.
He is known as Joel of the Sun.'

295
00:11:29.980 --> 00:11:33.140
Put this on late at night,
around about half eleven, post-pub.

296
00:11:33.260 --> 00:11:34.440
Just after the pubs have...

297
00:11:34.560 --> 00:11:37.260
We would all enjoy watching men trying to pull each other's ears off.

298
00:11:37.520 --> 00:11:39.520
See, that's what they could do on BBC Three.

299
00:11:39.780 --> 00:11:42.260
Yeah! Just toe wrestling and gut barging

300
00:11:42.260 --> 00:11:43.920
and stuff like that as well, give it a proper international...

301
00:11:44.060 --> 00:11:45.300
Cheese rolling once a year...

302
00:11:45.460 --> 00:11:46.520
I don't get that.

303
00:11:46.680 --> 00:11:47.940
What, cheese rolling?

304
00:11:48.300 --> 00:11:49.860
It's just running downhill, innit?

305
00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:50.900
It just — well, it's downhill...

306
00:11:51.020 --> 00:11:52.360
With a cheese that can kill you.

307
00:11:52.540 --> 00:11:54.000
It's more so rag-dolling down a hill...

308
00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:55.340
...with a cheese that can kill you.

309
00:11:55.520 --> 00:11:59.040
As long as there's an already dubbed-on 'boing!'
for every time someone hits the floor.

310
00:11:59.180 --> 00:12:00.860
I've got 'Too Much Cheese Can Kill You'
going round my head.

311
00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:02.000
CHRIS: Too much...! [Laughs]

312
00:12:02.140 --> 00:12:03.540
GARY: [singing] '...cheese can kill you!'

313
00:12:03.540 --> 00:02:30.140
'If you can't make up your mind...'

314
00:02:30.140 --> 00:02:31.720
[Laughter]

315
00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:10.540
'Torn between the Edam
and the Gouda you left behind...'

316
00:12:10.660 --> 00:12:10.660
— Ohhh.
— Yes!

317
00:12:10.660 --> 00:12:12.180
— Yes!
— Heyyy!

318
00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:16.480
'You're heading for disaster
'cos you didn't see the rind...'

319
00:12:19.380 --> 00:12:21.380
'Too much cheese will kill you...'

320
00:12:21.560 --> 00:12:23.560
ALL: '...every time.'

321
00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:26.320
On that note...
You know, I keep doing this, but...

322
00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:29.240
Gary, congratulations, you win the show!
[Laughter and applause]

323
00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:35.820
No, sorry, you've won the Free Dom of the City.
So do enjoy him.

324
00:12:35.960 --> 00:12:37.040
Ohh.

325
00:12:38.180 --> 00:12:39.400
Yes, sir.

326
00:12:39.500 --> 00:12:41.460
— Until then, that's been Matt Gray...
— Bye-bye!

327
00:12:41.460 --> 00:12:42.680
That's been Gary Brannan...

328
00:12:42.680 --> 00:12:43.840
That's been Chris Joel...

329
00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:45.720
I've been Tom Scott, and we'll see you next time!

330
00:12:49.280 --> 00:12:51.280
That was our season finale. Thanks for watching!

331
00:12:51.280 --> 00:12:53.380
If you've liked the series, then do let us know.

332
00:12:53.380 --> 00:12:55.240
Or better yet, point your friends our way.

333
00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:58.200
We should be back some time in early autumn
with another run of shows

334
00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:01.040
But until then, there are more than thirty audio episodes

335
00:13:01.040 --> 00:13:05.200
of our reverse trivia podcast at techdif.co.uk.

336
00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:06.440
See you soon.