WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Today's show is sponsored by Druid's Fluids...

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for all your holy water needs.

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This is the Technical Difficulties.
We are playing Citation Needed.

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I have an almost-randomly selected article

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from everybody's favourite reliable source of knowledge, Wikipedia,

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and these folks can't see it.

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Every fact they get right gets them a point and a ding [DING]

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and there's a special prize for particularly good answers which is...

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Rather!

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And today we are talking about... Bossche bol.

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The what?

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Can you use that in a sentence for us?
[Laughter]

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— Football!
— No.

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Are we talking a sport, though?

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Not even close.

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Is it a type of ball?

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— Well.
— Is it roughly spherical?

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Yeah. It is roughly spherical.

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— Okay.
— Is it a body part?

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No.

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Is it a seed, or fruit, or...

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— It's a foodstuff. I'll give you a point for that. [DING]
— Ahh!

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A Bossche bol is a foodstuff then.

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Yes.

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Is it deep-fried?

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Er, no.

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What?!

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It's not from these shores, then.

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Is it made of pieces of other things?

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It's a foodstuff though, isn't it?

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Every foodstuff, let's be honest,

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unless you are eating pure sodium...

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Yum yum yum!

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...is pretty much made up of pieces of other things.

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Yes.

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You get, like, a fishcake, or you get fish.

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Okay! Er, no, it's made. It's made of other ingredients.

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Is it of Africa?

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It's Dutch!

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— Dutch?
— Dutch.

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— Booshe-ball?
— It's Dutch and... Bossche bol.

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Bossche bol?

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Bossche bol.
The Dutch people I know are going to kill me for...

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Is it pickled?

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No, not even close.
Completely the other end of the spectrum. In fact...

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So it's raw!

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If you had a spectrum —
no, in terms of taste — from pickle...

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— Oh.
— ...and then took it all the way the other way...

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— All right, it's something sweet then.
— Yes.

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Right. It's a treat — a cake or something like that?

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Yeah.

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[Laughter]

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[Laughter]
And it's roughly spherical.

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Truffles.

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And I don't know why I'm doing that.

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Is it a sweet, cake-based Edam?

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— You know what...
— What, gjetost?

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That's actually close enough I'm going to give you it.

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[DING]  It's basically an oversized profiterole.

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— Ha! ...A what-sized?
— Yum yum yum!

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Oversized profiterole.

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How oversized?

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The size of your head!

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You can fit your head in it
and lick all the cream out of the inside

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before you eat its remains.

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Like a helmet.

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Was that the rudiments of the Dutch space programme?

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With a giant profiterole round the head of a man

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in the lower atmosphere?

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'Okay, the cream is keeping me fed.'

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'I have eaten it all. I am too fat for the parachute.'

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I'm glad we've finally washed up on

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the nationality we're going to insult for this show.

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No, but think about it. You could have the chocolate slice

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as like a visor, couldn't you?

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Because the further up the atmosphere you go,

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the colder it's going to get,
and the more solid she's gonna be.

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All right, it won't survive reentry very well
if it's chocolate, but you know.

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You've got the cream for insulation.

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Yeah!

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...Not a phrase I've said before.

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Again, as it gets — yeah!

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They had a point, these Dutch people

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with their profiterole space programme.

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You could fit them inside a giant Twinkie,

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or Barny Bear or something as the space suit.

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So Bossche Bol was the name of their first space capsule?

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...yes. Yes.
[Laughter]

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Bossche Bol One!

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Yes. Absolutely. In the same way

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that the first French spaceship was called 'Profiterole'.

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— Was it?
— No.

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— I did not know that.
— It won't be called Profiterole, you nob-head, would it?

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— It was called 'Baguette'.
— It was called 'Baguette'.

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Profiteroles are small, duh!

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We're talking one that's as big as a space helmet here!

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We're actually talking about one that's about five inches.

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A little bit bigger than my button here.

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There is a bit of culinary advice in this article...

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What's the best way to avoid spillage when eating a Bossche bol?

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Sit on it.

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Eat it whole.

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Ride it.

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Puncture it, suck out its delicious innards,

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and then consume the outside.

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Yes.

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Squeeze it like a spot.

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[Prolonged squirting noises]

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No?

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No, unsurprisingly.

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With a spoon.

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The best way to avoid spillage from your Bossche bol,

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is the question you're asking us.

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Yes. Yes, I am.

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Is there a special receptacle for this?

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The Bossce bol sphere, for instance.

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I don't like Bossche bol spillage.

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— No, who does?
— I'm not a fan.

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Vanish won't touch it, will it?

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You turn it upside down.

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Well, actually it says 'The best way to avoid spillage

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is by eating the pastry upside down',

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and I don't know whether that means the pastry...

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— Or the person?
— ...or the person.

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That's my kind of dessert.

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The kind that you have to be strapped down for.

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That's the taste sensation I'm looking for.

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All right, we've got a three-person slingshot

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and a Bossche bol. Here we go!

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Yes!

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What would it feel like to be hit

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by a five-inch-wide profiterole at speed?

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Well, based on the juggling ball I got hit with,

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it'll be bloody painful.

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I got hit by a water balloon in the face. That was painful.

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Oh yeah! You ended up with a real big welt, didn't you?

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I've still got the animated GIF of that somewhere.

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I'll see if I can cut and paste it in about here.

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I'm thinking, what would the cream do?

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Would it go... would it be like...

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Not evaporate, but the action when it melts and...

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I like to think that it would turn non-Newtonian.

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It'd go solid and you're just knocked unconscious.

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I can believe that. That water balloon hurt.

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Oh, Christ! If you did it with a custard-filled one,
it would do that!

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— Ohhh!
[Laughter]

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— Ohhh!
— It would, wouldn't it?

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Because custard *is* non-Newtonian!

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Only if it's not sugary.

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If you put sugar in, you actually turn it into just regular...

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— Right.
— But it would still be enough to...

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Hang on, we've discovered a new weapon, chaps!

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If you could put that in the barrel of a Navy frigate...

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'Cause I've seen that episode of Dad's Army

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where they fire onions at people,

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and that looked like it hurt, so I...

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Factually accurate ballistics!

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Steel and depleted uranium —

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custard-filled chocolate.

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I'm not saying it's used for destruction,

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I'm saying it's used for shock and awe.

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Splat and awe, really, wouldn't it?

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There is a bigger version of the Bossche bol,
just to drag us back...

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The Super Bossche Bol!

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Well, you see, that's pretty close.

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I don't actually want the Dutch word for it,

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but if you could tell me what it's called
when you translate it to English.

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The Mega-Ball.

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The Very Big Profiterole.

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You know what, I'm going to give you both points.
It's 'giant ball'.

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[DING DING]

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What I love is that in the 'See also' section of this page

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is just 'List of pastries'.

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Let's see how many we can guess.

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Quickfire round! Name some pastries. Matt.

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Errr... Danish pastry.

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Point! [DING] Gary.

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Cream horn.

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— Oh good Lord.
— Point! [DING]

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Choux bun!

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I tried to spell that 'shoe' there and it didn't work.

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Also that!

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I'll give you a point. It's under 'Éclair', but yes, point. [DING]

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Éclair.

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Point. [DING]
[Laughter]

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Viennese whirl.

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Good Lord.

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No, it's not on the list.

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BULL****!

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That's not pastry. That's a biscuit.

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Ooh. You could have me on a technicality there.

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I also like — in here we have:

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'Cronut' has already made its way into Wikipedia.

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[Groans]

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[Groans]
Who eats one? I don't und—

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I don't... yeah. What?

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Is it a croissant and a doughnut?

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It's a doughnut made of croissant pastry bread dough.

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But isn't that just...

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a croissant with a hole chopped out of the middle?

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No, it's deep-fried instead of baked.

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You know those Yum Yums they have in Greggs?

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— Oh, it's a Yum Yum, is it?
— It's one of them, yeah.

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Only it's made with croissant dough.

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So it's butterier and more layers and such.

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And causes more flakiness
down the front of a shirt of a morning.

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The horror.

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I've never thought, 'Ooh, I don't know

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whether I want a croissant or a doughnut.'

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— Someone did.
— I want one or the other.

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I don't get the whole American breakfast thing,

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of having like, doughnuts —

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something that sweet and that sugary, first thing.

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You've eaten Ricicles.

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Okay.

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Oh man, Ricicles! With the little spaceman.

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— Spaceman!
— Captain Rik, yeah.

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Good grief. Do they still make those?

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— Yes.
— Chris.

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— Yes.
— I don't think they do...

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— No.
— I've not seen Ricicles for a long time.

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On the other hand, if we do find some...

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— We're having them.
— I'm having them tomorrow.

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According to everyone's favourite unreliable source of knowledge,

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yes, they still sell them.

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— Yes!
— Ahhh!

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In the UK?

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They don't put them in the variety packs any more, though.

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That's all right. I could eat a whole box.

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— In one sitting!
— What, just by the fistful?

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Out of the box!

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Well, you remember the box of Coco Pops I brought

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last time we did this. I ate them in two days.

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I think a box of Ricicles in one sitting's on.

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Fistful Of Ricicles.

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— That's just a western movie!
— For A Few Ricicles More.

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The Good, The Bad and Captain Rik.

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Yes! All these!

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Just Coco the monkey, sat with a hat down over his eyes,

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at the side, just throwing a knife up and down.

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Are we saying Tony the Tiger's the sheriff?

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There's an entire section of the Cronut article on 'Controversy'.

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Can anyone tell me how much they were selling for?

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Because the original Cronut is trademarked to one bakery.

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They were selling them for five dollars.

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How much were scalpers selling them for later in the day?

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You can't —well, they're not going to last that long, are they?

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Being a French-based bread product,

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they'd have gone off within about an hour and gone stale.

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As we previously established.

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Yeah. So I'm going to say twenty dollars.

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Twenty dollars? You know what...

253
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Even though it's a terrible way of doing it,

254
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I'm going to do Price Is Right rules here.

255
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— Ohh!
— So closest without going over.

256
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Can we have the little yodelling man going up a hill here?

257
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No. Twenty dollars?

258
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Twenty dollars and one cent.

259
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Nine.

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Nine dollars?

261
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One hundred dollars!
[DING] You get the point.

262
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Yes!

263
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F*** off! For a bloody pastry?!

264
00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:09.240
It was one of those things where

265
00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:13.300
the public get a fixation on it, and it starts...

266
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It's basically Bitcoin in pastry form.

267
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You could almost get a flight to Paris!

268
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Except it lasts longer.

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ALL: Wahey!

270
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Can anyone give me some of the alternate names

271
00:09:21.700 --> 00:09:23.540
that people have called the Cronut, just to get around the...

272
00:09:23.700 --> 00:09:24.540
Donant!

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00:09:24.540 --> 00:09:25.360
Fatty Wheel!

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Flaky Death!

275
00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:27.160
Fat Whirl!

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Fat Whirl. No.

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Dosant?

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Dosant! Point. [DING]

279
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Isn't that just close to selling a 'doesn't'?

280
00:09:34.120 --> 00:09:35.380
Also on the list of pastries,

281
00:09:35.380 --> 00:09:37.620
we have something called 'Nun's Puffs'.

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Brannan! I feel this is your...

283
00:09:41.880 --> 00:09:43.420
— Hellooo?
— Please make a nun sequitur.

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— [Groans]
— Heyyy!

285
00:09:45.520 --> 00:09:47.880
'Nun sequitur' — that took me like three seconds.

286
00:09:47.880 --> 00:09:49.180
That was good.

287
00:09:49.340 --> 00:09:50.880
Oh, don't monk around any more, then.

288
00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:54.200
I've had that joke on a list for years

289
00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:56.940
and that is the first time I've been able to use it!

290
00:09:57.260 --> 00:09:59.260
You're lucky, because you were
really nunchalant when you delivered it.

291
00:10:00.860 --> 00:10:02.700
It's not the habit you want to get into.

292
00:10:03.560 --> 00:10:04.380
[Laughter]
Now...

293
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Leave you wimpole-ing in a corner, if you keep doing that.

294
00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:44.800
[Groans]

295
00:10:07.980 --> 00:10:09.780
It's listed as 'nun's puffs'.

296
00:10:09.780 --> 00:10:11.540
That is a euphemism.
Can you tell me what they're actually called?

297
00:10:11.660 --> 00:10:13.880
I read about this recently! It's...

298
00:10:14.180 --> 00:10:15.660
Are they those little round buns

299
00:10:15.660 --> 00:10:17.020
with icing and a cherry on top?

300
00:10:17.140 --> 00:10:18.180
Er... not the cherry,

301
00:10:18.180 --> 00:10:20.180
but they're basically kind of a light dessert pastry.

302
00:10:20.640 --> 00:10:23.000
Are they the ones that have the name 'nun's farts'?

303
00:10:23.220 --> 00:10:24.940
Point! [DING] And...

304
00:10:27.040 --> 00:10:29.040
They are called 'nun's farts'...
[Laughter]

305
00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:31.600
...and they are just a ball of pastry

306
00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:33.700
that is very, very light, with a cream filling in them.

307
00:10:34.020 --> 00:10:35.200
So, profiteroles?

308
00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:37.200
— ...but smaller.
— Under another name, yes.

309
00:10:37.760 --> 00:10:38.440
Sorry...

310
00:10:39.020 --> 00:10:40.660
'Could I have a nun's fart, please?'

311
00:10:40.660 --> 00:10:42.580
'Of course. Sister!'

312
00:10:44.640 --> 00:10:46.640
'That'll be five pounds, please.'

313
00:10:47.060 --> 00:10:49.060
And then you sell it on later for a hundred.

314
00:10:50.120 --> 00:10:51.220
In a jar.

315
00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:54.120
On that note, I think Matt, you got most points —

316
00:10:54.120 --> 00:10:55.780
I mean, I'll be honest, I'm not counting.

317
00:10:56.020 --> 00:10:58.840
I certainly didn't get any, so it wasn't me this time.

318
00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:01.160
Matt, congratulations — you win a copy of the game

319
00:11:01.160 --> 00:11:03.200
where you have to get executives of a disgraced bank

320
00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:05.420
to jump through pipes and defeat Bowser.

321
00:11:06.900 --> 00:11:08.240
Super Lehman Brothers.

322
00:11:10.920 --> 00:11:13.120
It's all right! Enough time's passed for that one. We're fine.

323
00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:14.720
Until next time...
that's been Matt Gray!

324
00:11:14.720 --> 00:11:15.440
Bye-bye!

325
00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:16.520
That's been Gary.

326
00:11:16.520 --> 00:11:18.420
...Brannan. I didn't say your name there.

327
00:11:18.620 --> 00:11:20.040
What a nob-head, everybody(!)

328
00:11:20.520 --> 00:11:22.520
We've been working together for what, how long now?

329
00:11:22.520 --> 00:11:23.960
Up yours, nob-head.

330
00:11:24.220 --> 00:11:25.500
CHRIS: That was Gary Brannan...

331
00:11:25.620 --> 00:11:27.320
And that's Chris Joel.

332
00:11:27.320 --> 00:11:28.620
Bye!

333
00:11:28.620 --> 00:11:30.400
I've...
Sod it!

334
00:11:34.340 --> 00:11:36.340
Look at his face!

335
00:11:41.060 --> 00:11:43.260
That was a good pastry-based episode there. I liked that.

336
00:11:44.940 --> 00:11:46.240
Thanks for watching!

337
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If you've got this far, then hopefully you liked the show.

338
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Leave us a comment if you do.

339
00:11:49.640 --> 00:11:52.120
The feedback we get from you all is really welcome.

340
00:11:52.400 --> 00:11:54.400
Or better yet, tell some other folks about us.

341
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And don't forget, there are audio episodes

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of our reverse trivia podcast at techdif.co.uk.

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