WEBVTT
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Language: en-GB

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I'm Jackson Seepage, product manager at Facebook.

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We know we haven't been a big part of your
life lately.

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We know that our easily-monetised teen audience
are favouring newer, more fashionable social

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networks.

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That's why we just spent two billion dollars
buying Oculus Rift.

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No, really.

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We spent that.

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Now, I'm proud to announce Facebook for Rift.

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Inside our stunning virtual shopping mall,
filled with the people you care about the

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most, you'll be able to interact with brands,
experience full 3D advertising, play FarmVille

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like you were really working in a farm, and,
er, talk to people?

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I guess?

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Our long term plan is to develop — and by
develop, I mean purchase — mind uploading

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technology.

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We plan to let our users literally live inside
Facebook.

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Don't worry about opting in: you've already
agreed to be uploaded in our new Terms of

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Service.

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You'll never have to leave us.

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We will be relevant again.

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Oh, please make us relevant again.