WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.280 I am with Izzy Kirk, James Grime, and Matt Parker 2 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:07.580 And we are playing bar billiards, which is a pub game. 3 00:00:07.620 --> 00:00:12.040 Which Jim knows a lot about, I know a bit about, 4 00:00:12.140 --> 00:00:15.340 and these two have never played before, so this should be interesting. 5 00:00:15.340 --> 00:00:17.600 -Excellent. -You start. 6 00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:19.220 Shall we start? Okay. 7 00:00:19.220 --> 00:00:20.540 Have we got a pound, anyone? Because- 8 00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:24.420 Pound? We have to bring our own pound? 9 00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:28.040 I might've found three- here we go, nope, I've got one. 10 00:00:28.040 --> 00:00:30.040 First thing is: the game is on a timer. 11 00:00:30.180 --> 00:00:34.940 -Yes. So, word of warning, yes, we put the pound in, the balls will drop- 12 00:00:34.940 --> 00:00:36.840 [laughing] -From where? 13 00:00:36.840 --> 00:00:37.840 -Sorry. 14 00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:39.980 -Make your own jokes up. 15 00:00:39.980 --> 00:00:41.900 -There were too many options at once I couldn't- 16 00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:45.760 -Oh! And, uh, we've got, what, thirteen minutes? 17 00:00:45.760 --> 00:00:47.860 -Ten, fifteen minutes until the balls will stop- 18 00:00:47.860 --> 00:00:49.720 -What does the timing? 'Cause it's not digital. 19 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:52.380 -You'll hear a ticking noise. 20 00:00:52.380 --> 00:00:57.340 -The reason it's called bar billiards is that there is literally a bar in there, in the table. 21 00:00:57.620 --> 00:01:02.440 Uh, that will drop back down after about ten minutes and stop the balls from coming back. 22 00:01:03.300 --> 00:01:05.300 So when I put the coin in and pull the thing- 23 00:01:05.300 --> 00:01:06.600 -And then the clock is literally- 24 00:01:06.600 --> 00:01:07.680 -The clock is literally in there. 25 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:11.860 -So it's a game against the clock, it's exciting, there's a ticking noise, you ready? 26 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:12.800 -We're ready. 27 00:01:12.800 --> 00:01:13.300 -Alright, go. 28 00:01:13.300 --> 00:01:14.620 [sound of coin dropping into the machine] 29 00:01:14.620 --> 00:01:15.760 -Um, I'm not ready. 340 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:17.280 [laughter] 31 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:19.280 [lever pulled, balls dropping] 32 00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:20.560 -It's actually ticking? 33 00:01:20.560 --> 00:01:22.040 -It is actually properly ticking. 34 00:01:22.040 --> 00:01:23.660 -Do you feel the pressure? 35 00:01:23.660 --> 00:01:25.520 -I do, but I don't know why. 36 00:01:25.580 --> 00:01:29.960 -Alright, first rule. Um, the objective is to get the balls into the holes. 37 00:01:30.120 --> 00:01:33.540 The holes are worth the points displayed there. 407 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:34.380 -Alright. 39 00:01:34.380 --> 00:01:37.300 -So the ones at the back are worth less, the ones near the front are trickier. 40 00:01:37.660 --> 00:01:41.600 -So it's like pool, but you get points for different holes. 41 00:01:41.600 --> 00:01:42.100 -Yep. Points- 42 00:01:42.100 --> 00:01:44.260 -And the red is worth double. -And the red is worth double. 43 00:01:44.780 --> 00:01:48.440 -Yeah, so at the back, smaller points, 30, 20, 10, 20, and 30. 44 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:54.960 Uh, you've got 100 there, you've got 50s on the sides. And, look at that beautiful 200. 45 00:01:55.320 --> 00:01:57.820 -What are these little, uh, excited guys? 46 00:01:57.860 --> 00:01:59.860 -Is it that we're not allowed to knock these over? 47 00:01:59.860 --> 00:02:01.080 -Yeah. -Yeah, exactly right. 48 00:02:01.860 --> 00:02:08.060 So you only get the points added to your score when you finish your, your break. 49 00:02:08.160 --> 00:02:12.420 When you've put a few balls out and then you play a legal shot that doesn't pot anything. 50 00:02:12.920 --> 00:02:14.920 -So you have to do a non-potting shot? 51 00:02:15.480 --> 00:02:17.780 -Yes, that doesn't foul, to collect those points. 371 00:02:17.780 --> 00:02:18.680 -Okay. 53 00:02:18.680 --> 00:02:21.800 -If you knock these guys over, you lose your points from your break. 54 00:02:21.800 --> 00:02:22.480 -Oh. 55 00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:27.660 -If you knock this guy over, you lose all your points you've made in the game. 56 00:02:27.740 --> 00:02:29.740 -So scores can change- 57 00:02:29.760 --> 00:02:33.860 -You reset on this guy? Alright, so this is why it's 200 then? 193 00:02:33.860 --> 00:02:34.500 -Yeah. 59 00:02:34.500 --> 00:02:36.160 -Who's breaking then? -You break, you're- 60 00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:39.140 -So you've already explained this once the clock is ticking, by the way. 61 00:02:39.140 --> 00:01:33.640 [camera operator laughs] 407 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:34.380 -Alright. 63 00:02:40.720 --> 00:02:42.620 -Woah, woah, woah, hang on, hang on, are there teams? 64 00:02:42.620 --> 00:02:48.140 -Nope. Four players, it is four players. Well, it's any number of players up to four. There's just four on there. 65 00:02:48.140 --> 00:02:49.560 -It's just, uh, I'll figure it out. Alright. 66 00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:50.560 -Okay? 67 00:02:50.660 --> 00:02:56.460 So the break: you put the red ball there, you put the white ball there, and he's got to try to get them into those two holes. 68 00:02:56.560 --> 00:02:59.880 He's not going to. [sound of ball dropping into table] 69 00:02:59.880 --> 00:03:01.780 -What happens when you get the white in? 70 00:03:01.780 --> 00:03:05.240 -So, there are loads of white balls, no penalty. You can still score points for it. 71 00:03:05.340 --> 00:03:10.480 So that was a red in the 30, so that's 60 points. 72 00:03:10.480 --> 00:03:11.760 -60 points. -But we don't add it to the scoreboard yet. 73 00:03:11.760 --> 00:03:15.020 -I would save it, because I could mess up. -Yes. 74 00:03:15.100 --> 00:03:17.880 Now you take a ball, and you send the other one down the table. 75 00:03:17.940 --> 00:03:20.200 -So you just keep sending -You just keep sending balls down the table. 76 00:03:20.200 --> 00:03:21.440 -Couldn't he just send that one straight into here? 77 00:03:21.600 --> 00:03:23.600 -No, 'cause that's a foul. 78 00:03:23.600 --> 00:03:25.360 -And I've lost my points. 79 00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:27.340 -Why have you lost your points for that? 80 00:03:27.500 --> 00:03:31.860 -He hasn't hit another ball. So a legal shot is, -It has to hit another ball? 81 00:03:31.860 --> 00:03:33.880 -It has to hit another ball. -And then any of them can go 82 00:03:33.880 --> 00:03:35.040 -And any of them can go in. 83 00:03:35.040 --> 00:03:37.220 -Alright. Who wants to try? 84 00:03:37.220 --> 00:03:40.540 [laughter] -Unless you've explained this in the most straightforward way possible, 85 00:03:40.540 --> 00:03:42.360 So you hit a ball. -Yes. 86 00:03:42.380 --> 00:03:44.380 -The ball hits other ball. -Yes. 87 00:03:44.380 --> 00:03:45.360 -The balls go in holes? -Yes. 88 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:47.360 Balls cannot- 89 00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:50.900 -It's a high-scoring game, points can be lost at any moment. 90 00:03:51.040 --> 00:03:53.040 -Okay. And James gets nothing for that? 91 00:03:53.040 --> 00:03:55.060 -James gets nothing, that's a foul. - I like this game. 92 00:03:55.100 --> 00:03:58.880 -Balls also cannot come back past this line. 93 00:03:58.880 --> 00:04:03.520 -Let's say this line, because you can see this line. 94 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:04.720 -No, we can do diagonals. 95 00:04:04.720 --> 00:04:06.460 -Alright, Izzy's clearly up next. 96 00:04:06.460 --> 00:04:08.000 -Hit a ball. Whack it. 97 00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:10.060 -Oh gosh, okay. 98 00:04:10.840 --> 00:04:12.840 -So she can't just put that straight into a hole? 99 00:04:12.920 --> 00:04:15.360 -No. Can't put it straight into a pocket, it has to hit one of those first. 100 00:04:15.900 --> 00:04:16.400 [ball hits peg] 101 00:04:16.400 --> 00:04:17.300 [a loud exclamation from Tom] 102 00:04:17.300 --> 00:04:18.400 [laughter] -Okay, so 103 00:04:18.780 --> 00:04:20.780 -It went in! 104 00:04:22.880 --> 00:04:24.880 -Okay, let's count the fouls. One, two, 105 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:29.060 -No, no, no, it's on the line. [overlapping speech] 106 00:04:29.280 --> 00:04:33.560 -Okay, so, first of all, the ball came back past the ball. That's a foul. 317 00:04:33.560 --> 00:04:34.080 -Right. 108 00:04:34.080 --> 00:04:35.280 -Um, you nearly just 109 00:04:35.280 --> 00:04:38.000 -You can't have more than one foul. They don't just add up! 110 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:39.160 -You knocked over 111 00:04:39.280 --> 00:04:41.280 -Does this mean I'm now on negative points? 112 00:04:41.280 --> 00:04:48.140 -No, you get no points for that one. You knocked over the pin, that's a foul. And you nearly destroyed my camera. 113 00:04:48.140 --> 00:04:51.920 -Which is not a foul. So this gets replaced, 114 00:04:52.100 --> 00:04:54.100 -If you actually knock them off the table does it still count as a foul? 115 00:04:54.100 --> 00:04:54.980 -No. That's a foul. 116 00:04:55.020 --> 00:04:57.480 Alright, I'll take the next one. 117 00:04:57.480 --> 00:04:58.980 -I think we can take this away. 118 00:04:58.980 --> 00:05:00.540 -Uh, yeah it's behind the line so I reset that. 119 00:05:00.540 --> 00:05:01.940 -And you leave whatever's out here out here? 120 00:05:01.940 --> 00:05:02.780 -You leave whatever's out there, out there. 121 00:05:03.400 --> 00:05:05.400 -Are you just going to pop this guy in now? 122 00:05:05.400 --> 00:05:07.000 -Hopefully, but I also have to... 123 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:07.500 -Can you... 124 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:15.000 Not. Okay, so what I like about this game, what I like about this game is that there are a lot of flukes. 125 00:05:15.760 --> 00:05:21.360 Like, that was 20, now all I have to do to get a point on the table is just -Is just bump that. 126 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:22.420 -Bump. 127 00:05:22.420 --> 00:05:25.940 -Legal shot -Legal shot, 20 points on player 3 if you'd be so kind. 128 00:05:25.940 --> 00:05:27.020 -Okay so 20? 129 00:05:27.020 --> 00:05:27.700 -20. 130 00:05:27.700 --> 00:05:29.020 And player number 4. 131 00:05:29.020 --> 00:05:30.440 -And so I just, okay, here we go. 132 00:05:32.120 --> 00:05:34.120 -So I go from here? 133 00:05:34.120 --> 00:05:34.720 -You go from here. 134 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:36.700 -You've go 50 points set up for you there. 135 00:05:37.080 --> 00:05:39.080 -How've I got 50 points set up for me? 136 00:05:39.080 --> 00:05:39.960 -Look at him! Chalking his cue! 137 00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:41.920 [laughter] -Hey, I know how the business is done. 138 00:05:42.220 --> 00:05:43.640 -Use the red. 139 00:05:43.960 --> 00:05:45.780 -First of all, oh yep. -So I use the red? 140 00:05:45.780 --> 00:05:46.280 -Yep, use the red. 141 00:05:46.740 --> 00:05:47.860 -I had forgotten that- 142 00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:51.660 -Wait, wait, wait, I need to pop the red to get the red points? 143 00:05:51.660 --> 00:05:54.120 -Yeah. -Yes. But you might as well get it on the table. 144 00:05:54.120 --> 00:02:33.860 -May as well get it on the table so then I can pop it. 193 00:02:33.860 --> 00:02:34.500 -Yeah. 146 00:05:59.420 --> 00:06:01.400 -Go in the thing, go in the thing, go in it. 147 00:06:01.400 --> 00:06:01.900 -Nothing! 148 00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:04.360 -But I get all zero points? 149 00:06:04.360 --> 00:06:05.580 -You get zero points, and you walk away. 150 00:06:06.140 --> 00:06:08.140 You know when he said this was a high-scoring game? 151 00:06:08.140 --> 00:06:09.980 -Just wait, it will be. 152 00:06:10.080 --> 00:06:12.740 Now you see there's a possible 400 if I was clever. 153 00:06:12.740 --> 00:06:14.460 -There is. Yep. -400? 154 00:06:14.460 --> 00:06:17.380 -There are two 100s if you tap the 200 into there. 155 00:06:18.540 --> 00:06:19.700 Oh! 156 00:06:20.680 --> 00:06:21.180 -See? 157 00:06:21.720 --> 00:06:22.940 -Now I put this back here? 158 00:06:22.940 --> 00:06:24.460 -All that Izzy has to do is pop. 159 00:06:25.340 --> 00:06:27.340 -Okay. Do I have hit... -And you have to go for the dot. 160 00:06:27.440 --> 00:06:31.520 -Um, you can go from, there's a little 'd', if you can see, inscribed just here. 161 00:06:31.520 --> 00:01:15.760 -I can't see that. -Okay, so the things we can see we ignore? 340 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:17.280 [laughter] 163 00:06:35.620 --> 00:06:37.360 -But the lines you can see on the table... 411 00:06:38.860 --> 00:06:40.920 [collective gasp] 225 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:41.980 -Oh! 166 00:06:41.980 --> 00:06:43.980 -It's still legal! -It was legal. 167 00:06:44.100 --> 00:06:46.100 -It's a legal shot but it's not worth...alright. 168 00:06:46.760 --> 00:06:49.180 Watch me completely stuff this. 169 00:06:49.180 --> 00:06:51.020 -You're the expert, right? So you're just going to- 170 00:06:51.020 --> 00:06:52.200 -Jim. Jim's the expert. 171 00:06:55.400 --> 00:06:57.400 -Well, that's the 400 gone. [clapping] 172 00:06:57.460 --> 00:07:02.260 -Can you talk me through the strategy behind that? Because I thought you would've tried to sink that in the hole. 173 00:07:02.400 --> 00:07:03.760 -I did! 174 00:07:04.440 --> 00:07:07.020 Oh! Come on! 175 00:07:07.020 --> 00:07:08.800 -Sorry, I thought I misunderstood the game. 176 00:07:08.840 --> 00:07:10.840 -Don't hit that. -Don't hit that guy. 177 00:07:11.860 --> 00:07:12.960 [pin hits table] 178 00:07:12.960 --> 00:07:14.140 [laughter] -You hit that guy. 179 00:07:15.660 --> 00:07:17.660 [ball falls into return] [laughter] 180 00:07:17.660 --> 00:04:33.560 -So I should? -You shouldn't 317 00:04:33.560 --> 00:04:34.080 -Right. 182 00:07:20.200 --> 00:07:22.920 -For a "high-scoring game" so far, Jim, we've got 20 points on the board. 183 00:07:22.920 --> 00:07:24.420 -You guys promised me non-stop excitement. 184 00:07:26.740 --> 00:07:29.960 -30. -Okay, so you get that. -Not yet, he doesn't. 185 00:07:29.960 --> 00:07:32.340 -Oh, so gradually balls just accrue at the end of the table? -Yeah. 186 00:07:32.520 --> 00:07:34.800 -Uh, if you're the fourth player, then yeah. 187 00:07:36.400 --> 00:07:39.780 -60, 80, 100. Because that red's worth double. 188 00:07:43.280 --> 00:07:48.800 On a proper table, these are ceramic and really difficult to find when you maintain your table, because they're the expensive bits. 189 00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:49.300 130. 190 00:07:50.980 --> 00:07:52.980 This is a really fluky game. 191 00:07:56.520 --> 00:08:00.380 160, 190, 200. We are being hustled. 192 00:08:00.380 --> 00:02:33.860 -Trying to aim for thing is a distraction. You're just meant to whack balls up the table. 193 00:02:33.860 --> 00:02:34.500 -Yeah. 194 00:08:07.700 --> 00:08:11.180 200 on the board for Mr. Grime who is playing as player number...? 195 00:08:11.180 --> 00:08:11.680 -One! 196 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:12.540 -One. 197 00:08:14.660 --> 00:08:15.680 200. 198 00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:16.500 Uh, Izzy. 199 00:08:16.520 --> 00:08:19.120 -Is it my go again? I'm really not very good at this game. 200 00:08:19.980 --> 00:06:40.920 -On behalf of those of us who are new at this, you've got to, one of us has to... 225 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:41.980 -Oh! 202 00:08:28.760 --> 00:08:35.340 -Now, wait, here's a good question. That almost didn't fall over. If it slid, right, and stopped there, is that cool? 203 00:08:35.740 --> 00:08:40.300 -Uh, if it gets nudged I think the player can put it back. 204 00:08:40.640 --> 00:08:42.640 -Yeah. -If it's nudged it can stay there. 205 00:08:42.640 --> 00:08:45.340 -It nearly bounced all the way over here somewhere and that would've been...? 206 00:08:45.860 --> 00:08:48.980 -That's right. -I'm going to house rule that it wouldn't have been a foul if it doesn't go over. 207 00:08:49.680 --> 00:08:53.720 I don't care what the official rules are, that's sense enough that I'm happy with it. 208 00:08:53.780 --> 00:08:57.320 -Alright, so let me get this straight, all the rules have the sub-clause: "Unless it's really awesome." 209 00:08:57.320 --> 00:01:15.760 -Yes! More games should be like that! 340 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:17.280 [laughter] 211 00:09:01.580 --> 00:09:03.580 -I can't see why this game didn't catch on! 212 00:09:05.380 --> 00:09:06.540 -For crying out loud! 213 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:11.180 -Okay, right, okay so all I have to do is...there's only one left? -Hold on, I'll come around this side. 214 00:09:11.180 --> 00:09:12.200 -Yep. There's only one ball left. 215 00:09:12.200 --> 00:09:13.520 -What happens if they all stay up there? 216 00:09:13.520 --> 00:09:15.360 -If they're all up there, you pull the closest one down. 217 00:09:16.300 --> 00:09:16.900 Woah! 218 00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:18.700 30. 219 00:09:19.560 --> 00:09:20.100 -Nice. 220 00:09:20.100 --> 00:09:21.380 -Which one are you? 221 00:09:22.300 --> 00:09:25.900 -Uh, it's not just one ball left. -I've still got time to lose all those points! Don't you worry. 222 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:29.440 -30, 60. 223 00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:31.360 -See, you've got the hang of this. Whack it into the bottom corner! 224 00:09:31.360 --> 00:06:40.920 -That one right there. -Yep. 225 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:41.980 -Oh! 226 00:09:36.980 --> 00:09:37.720 -80. 227 00:09:37.720 --> 00:09:39.420 -Someone is adding this up as I go, right? 228 00:09:39.420 --> 00:09:40.200 -Yeah, I'll go. 229 00:09:45.940 --> 00:09:49.100 -90. The speed at which you're whacking these up there is brave. I will say that. 230 00:09:53.000 --> 00:01:15.760 120 and a bonus for nearly hitting the cameraman in the crotch. 340 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:17.280 [laughter] 232 00:09:56.600 --> 00:09:57.840 -Does that count as awesome? 233 00:09:57.840 --> 00:09:58.660 -Yes. 234 00:09:58.660 --> 00:10:00.460 -(Cameraman) I'm going to move. 235 00:10:02.160 --> 00:10:06.560 -150, 170. Are we being hustled, Jim? Because I think we're being hustled. 236 00:10:07.020 --> 00:10:10.500 -Well, we're not supposed to have that many balls on the table. -Yeah, good point. 237 00:10:10.500 --> 00:10:11.620 -That's what worries me. 238 00:10:14.540 --> 00:10:17.060 -170, on the board for player 4, if you want. 239 00:10:19.760 --> 00:10:20.420 Lovely. 240 00:10:20.420 --> 00:10:22.240 -So what's the "too many balls" thing? 241 00:10:23.020 --> 00:10:28.800 -That was Jim saying that if you have a lot of good players, what happens is there are fewer balls on the table. 242 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:32.420 -Oh, so it's not that it's not allowed, it's just that we're all terrible at the game. -Yes. 243 00:10:32.520 --> 00:10:35.180 -And this is amateur hour, which is why it's okay. 244 00:10:35.320 --> 00:10:38.240 -I say that, have you seen what I'm on? I'm on 20. Oh! 245 00:10:38.400 --> 00:10:40.780 -I'm on zero, so you're better than me. 246 00:10:43.960 --> 00:10:46.700 -See, if we had more good players, like Jim, oh, no, wait, there's only one up there right now. 247 00:10:48.060 --> 00:10:51.480 -Here's a rule. We've used up all the balls, that's not good. 248 00:10:52.140 --> 00:10:54.140 But we now take the closest to the front. 249 00:10:54.140 --> 00:10:55.680 -That one? -That one there. Hand it back, if you would. 250 00:10:56.980 --> 00:10:57.480 -I think it's my turn. 251 00:10:57.480 --> 00:10:58.160 -Oh, yeah, it is, sorry. 252 00:10:58.160 --> 00:10:59.780 -It's okay, it's okay. 253 00:10:59.820 --> 00:11:02.240 -There's another one, if you didn't notice, Tom. 254 00:11:04.060 --> 00:11:06.060 -That red one looks kind of good. 255 00:11:06.060 --> 00:11:09.840 -I can't really see it. So I'm just going to try and not foul. 256 00:11:12.020 --> 00:11:14.020 -50. -Yes! -Lovely. 257 00:11:14.600 --> 00:11:24.320 -So this game was popular in the 1930's and one of the reasons it makes a good pub game is because you play it from one end of the table. 258 00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:30.020 Not like how in pool, or snooker, you don't have to walk around the table. You all stand...you can play against the wall. 259 00:11:30.340 --> 00:11:33.380 Very popular in the 1930's, went out of fashion. 260 00:11:33.740 --> 00:11:35.200 [laughter] -What? 261 00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:38.740 -20. -Incredibly fluky 20. 262 00:11:40.060 --> 00:11:41.700 Oh boy. Okay. 263 00:11:41.700 --> 00:11:43.140 -Right. from the corner of the d. 264 00:11:43.140 --> 00:11:44.800 -But it's far more exciting- -Is this an original table? 265 00:11:46.540 --> 00:11:50.280 -Uh, I think it's been recently refurbished. 266 00:11:52.180 --> 00:11:52.820 80. 267 00:11:53.820 --> 00:11:54.760 From the other corner. 268 00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:59.220 Certainly, there aren't many tables left, and I think only one manufacturer. 269 00:11:59.220 --> 00:12:00.300 110. 270 00:12:00.300 --> 00:12:04.240 Oh! 140 on the board for player 3, please. 271 00:12:05.420 --> 00:12:08.120 Putting me in to...3rd place. Wonderful. 272 00:12:08.300 --> 00:12:09.180 -Right, okay, so... 273 00:12:11.160 --> 00:12:12.560 -I'll go over here. -Player 4. 274 00:12:13.480 --> 00:12:17.320 Here we go. Do I get bonus points if I hit one ball into another ball, into the pocket? 275 00:12:17.680 --> 00:12:18.180 -Uh...no. 276 00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:21.320 -Okay. I thought that would count as awesome. 277 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:23.540 -Oh! 50. 278 00:12:26.260 --> 00:12:28.260 -Getting the hang of this, Matt. 279 00:12:32.800 --> 00:12:33.300 60. 280 00:12:40.340 --> 00:12:42.900 Oh! -Don't. -Yes! 281 00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:45.320 60 points on the board! Player 4. 282 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:49.460 -Putting you into... You're in the lead! 283 00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:51.960 -This is about coordination, drinking, and adding up. 284 00:12:51.960 --> 00:12:53.940 -Yes. -I like it. -He's in the lead! 230! 285 00:12:54.160 --> 00:12:55.980 -What? -Jim. -Here you are, pro. 286 00:12:57.440 --> 00:12:59.440 -Can you pass me a beer? 287 00:13:01.520 --> 00:13:05.240 Pass it right past him to distract him as he's trying to play. 288 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:09.080 -30. Oh, and new rule, handicap Jim by faffing around him whenever he plays. 289 00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:10.880 -You're allowed to distract people when they play, right? 290 00:13:10.880 --> 00:13:12.400 -Um, not in the official rules... 291 00:13:12.400 --> 00:13:13.900 -I am going to have to draw smiley faces on the rule cards. 292 00:13:16.980 --> 00:13:21.640 -Oh! 30 on the board. -Which makes us even. -It's a tie. It's a tie for first place! 293 00:13:22.540 --> 00:13:24.440 -Gosh, I'm really not doing very well, am I? 294 00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:26.000 -Oh, it's okay! -Hang on, hang on, hang on. 295 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:28.900 When that timer runs out, do we all get the same number of goes? Or is it literally... 296 00:13:28.900 --> 00:13:31.260 -Ah, there's a whole endgame to play. -Yes. 297 00:13:31.260 --> 00:13:33.520 -Oh. -There's more to come. 298 00:13:33.780 --> 00:13:35.780 -I swear, this is giving you time to make up more rules. 299 00:13:35.780 --> 00:13:36.520 -30! 300 00:13:38.080 --> 00:13:44.280 -If you like the idea of us just making up rules, you are going to love the endgame. That's basically what it is. 301 00:13:44.520 --> 00:13:48.060 Oh! Do you hear that clunk? -That clunk? -That was the bar dropping. 302 00:13:48.060 --> 00:13:50.320 -So I'm done now? -No. You're good. You keep going. 303 00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:51.800 (Tom and James in unison) But the balls won't. 304 00:13:53.860 --> 00:13:55.860 -It was 60 so... -90. 305 00:13:57.140 --> 00:13:59.140 So we take the closest one back. 306 00:13:59.960 --> 00:14:06.420 -So we did that in unison, the bar's dropped, so the balls will not return. -The balls will not return. 307 00:14:06.420 --> 00:14:08.180 -So they hit that bar on their way down? 308 00:14:08.720 --> 00:14:13.340 -They hit that bar, the money is...120! That's going well. 309 00:14:13.720 --> 00:14:16.520 But the endgame is kind of like the golden snitch from quidditch. 310 00:14:18.380 --> 00:14:23.780 Like, if it's an amateur game like this, anyone can win. 140! 311 00:14:24.020 --> 00:14:24.880 -Sure that one's closest? 312 00:14:25.740 --> 00:14:29.340 -At this point, all you've got to do is not foul, and the points are yours. 313 00:14:33.680 --> 00:14:34.840 140 on the board! 314 00:14:34.840 --> 00:14:36.320 -Oh yeah, not zero. That's what I want. 315 00:14:37.760 --> 00:14:44.120 -140. Which puts me...in last place. No, I'm nearly in last place. 316 00:14:44.120 --> 00:04:33.560 Uh, can I have a ball, Matt, please? 317 00:04:33.560 --> 00:04:34.080 -Right. 318 00:14:46.800 --> 00:14:48.100 -Which is closest? -Uh...that one. 319 00:14:48.700 --> 00:14:50.400 -This is going to get increasingly difficult. 320 00:14:50.400 --> 00:14:51.420 -So we just keep going until we're... 321 00:14:51.540 --> 00:15:00.080 -We clean up, until all the balls are gone. Or, if there's one ball left, then that last ball becomes our golden snitch. 322 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:03.340 -So there would be some advantage to going first because you get more goes on average? 323 00:15:04.520 --> 00:15:06.520 -Yes. Yes there would. 324 00:15:06.700 --> 00:15:09.500 -Because obviously Jim went first because he's the professional. He's hustling us. 325 00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:12.760 -But there would be an advantage to going last because there are more balls on the table already if you go last. 326 00:15:12.760 --> 00:15:14.740 -That's true, 'cause they're up against a blank. 327 00:15:16.820 --> 00:15:18.820 -30. Lovely. 328 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:24.860 -Alright Matt. Don't mess it up. This thing's still ticking. 329 00:15:28.020 --> 00:15:32.840 -I didn't mess it up. -He didn't mess it up! 30 on the board, putting him... 330 00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:35.080 -back in the lead, Jim! 331 00:15:35.160 --> 00:15:36.860 -The closest, please. 332 00:15:36.860 --> 00:15:38.380 -Here you go. 333 00:15:40.940 --> 00:15:42.940 -I don't know how I'll get anything. 334 00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:49.340 [loud laughter and applause] 335 00:15:49.340 --> 00:15:56.240 -A flawless 50 points which, because all the balls are gone, get added. Which incredibly... 336 00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:58.360 -No, but he can't do a legitimate shot now, can he? 337 00:15:58.460 --> 00:16:02.520 -That's it! End of the game. End of the game. -Oh, so there's no golden snitch? 338 00:16:02.520 --> 00:16:04.420 -There isn't because all of the balls have gone. 339 00:16:04.420 --> 00:01:15.760 -And then, with the final 50... -Yeah, it was 50. Which puts him in the lead! 340 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:17.280 [laughter] 341 00:16:10.640 --> 00:16:13.560 -Jim! -And that's how you play bar billiards. 342 00:16:13.560 --> 00:16:15.040 -This is a terrible game! 343 00:16:16.160 --> 00:16:19.140 -It's an amazing game! I don't know what your problem is. 344 00:16:19.140 --> 00:16:22.460 -I don't know what the endgame is. -This, so, shall we find out what the endgame is? 345 00:16:22.460 --> 00:16:26.580 -Yeah. -Shall we play again, and through the magic of editing, speed it up? 346 00:16:26.580 --> 00:16:27.940 [laughing] -Then we can see what the endgame is. 347 00:16:28.440 --> 00:16:32.620 [overlapping speech] 348 00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:35.140 -30 points, and that's the end of your break. 349 00:16:35.160 --> 00:16:37.300 -Alright. -Because there's only one ball left. -Did you get the 30? 350 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.140 -Yep. There's only one left here, so you get the 30 points, putting you on... 351 00:16:41.140 --> 00:16:42.480 Oh, you're that one. Sorry. 352 00:16:43.400 --> 00:16:44.460 450. 353 00:16:44.500 --> 00:16:50.200 So the scores to start off the endgame are: 270 to Jim, who is in last place, astonishingly. 354 00:16:50.200 --> 00:16:50.700 [gasp] 355 00:16:52.060 --> 00:16:54.060 -450 to Izzy, who is in first. 356 00:16:54.880 --> 00:16:59.800 And then it's very close with 330 to me, and 310 to Matt. 357 00:17:00.300 --> 00:17:02.980 So, um, it's literally anybody's game here. 358 00:17:02.980 --> 00:17:04.740 -Say that again. What's Izzy's score? 359 00:17:04.840 --> 00:17:06.260 [indistinguishable] 360 00:17:06.620 --> 00:17:08.880 -You'll find out. Izzy has 400 and...? 361 00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:09.640 (Tom and Izzy in unison) 50. 362 00:17:09.640 --> 00:17:10.580 -I have 200 and..? 363 00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:11.980 -70. 364 00:17:11.980 --> 00:17:12.780 -I'm still in. 365 00:17:12.780 --> 00:17:13.780 -You are still in. 366 00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:18.560 -There are 200 potential points to get in the endgame. 367 00:17:19.020 --> 00:17:23.200 -So, here's what happens. First of all, we bring this ball back. 368 00:17:23.500 --> 00:17:26.500 And then, we put this down. 369 00:17:26.780 --> 00:17:29.480 These holes are now out. 370 00:17:30.040 --> 00:02:17.780 Here's how it works: Izzy, you were the last one to play so you get this. 371 00:02:17.780 --> 00:02:18.680 -Okay. 372 00:17:34.420 --> 00:17:40.000 -You have to pop this ball, off of one of the cushions, and into one of these holes. 373 00:17:40.380 --> 00:17:46.480 That's still worth 200, that's still worth 100, and that still wipes your score out. 374 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:47.600 -Oh god, okay. -Okay? 375 00:17:47.600 --> 00:17:50.880 -And if you miss, does it go on to the next person? -If you miss, the next person gets a go. 376 00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:52.240 -And we can go until someone pots it? 377 00:17:52.320 --> 00:17:55.100 -Yep. Or, until everyone has their score wiped out. 378 00:17:55.100 --> 00:17:56.500 -Or until we're all zero. -Yeah. 379 00:17:56.760 --> 00:17:59.680 -Okay. -So obviously you want to aim for the 100, because... 380 00:17:59.700 --> 00:18:02.460 -If I miss, is that it? -No, if you miss, you're fine. 381 00:18:02.620 --> 00:18:04.260 But we keep going 'round until someone pops it. 382 00:18:04.260 --> 00:18:05.340 [a very manly scream from Tom] 383 00:18:06.140 --> 00:18:08.440 -Obviously, if it goes down here, someone stops it from going in. 384 00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:10.140 That was a miss. -That's fine? -That's fine. 385 00:18:10.140 --> 00:18:11.540 -You okay? -I'm good. 386 00:18:11.560 --> 00:18:15.000 -Do you get to shout [imitates Tom's sceam] when you stop it from going in? -So I'm next up. 387 00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:19.180 -Those are in the Oxford rules. -Yeah. -In the Oxford rules, [imitates Tom's scream poorly]. 388 00:18:19.180 --> 00:18:22.140 -Okay, right, yeah. -So I'm on, what am I on? 389 00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:25.140 -It was very realistic when you did it. I thought it was very impressive. 390 00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:27.460 -I'm on 330. 391 00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:29.580 -I would use the word 'manly scream' 392 00:18:29.580 --> 00:18:30.860 -So you have to go for the big ones? 393 00:18:30.860 --> 00:18:33.080 -I have to go for the big one. I cannot beat you any other way. 394 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:35.840 -So you're going to lose your score, so you have to win anyways? 395 00:18:36.060 --> 00:01:33.640 -200. Okay. High risk 200. 407 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:34.380 -Alright. 397 00:18:42.020 --> 00:18:42.760 -So it's just angle, right? 398 00:18:42.760 --> 00:18:44.060 -It's just angle. 399 00:18:44.060 --> 00:18:44.840 -He has the wrong angle. 400 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:47.980 -You are correct, that is the wrong angle. -Terrible. 401 00:18:49.100 --> 00:18:57.680 -Alright, Matt. You are on 310. You can beat Izzy, but you need to hit the 200. 402 00:18:59.980 --> 00:19:05.420 -Well... [laughter] because this one there's a lot more room for it, so more people do it. 403 00:19:05.460 --> 00:19:10.580 And I think the cushion over there is you know, quite...whereas here, no one does this because you can't fit the cue. 404 00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:15.680 so it's perfect. -Sometimes, sometimes, there's actually a mark on the... 405 00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:17.340 -Oh, like a little notch? -Yeah. 406 00:19:17.360 --> 00:01:33.640 But this is a new table so- nope. Not this time. 407 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:34.380 -Alright. 408 00:19:21.580 --> 00:19:27.040 -Jim, you are on 270. You can beat Izzy, but you need to get in the 200. 409 00:19:27.040 --> 00:19:33.500 -I can see what you mean. This...it's my usual position. But...this is hard. 410 00:19:33.500 --> 00:06:38.860 This is not my table. 411 00:06:38.860 --> 00:06:40.920 [collective gasp] 412 00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:41.720 -NO! 413 00:19:41.840 --> 00:19:43.800 You're out of there! 414 00:19:43.800 --> 00:19:47.080 -Wow. -I am zero. -You are zero. 415 00:19:47.320 --> 00:19:49.320 -Did I say fortunes could change? 416 00:19:49.540 --> 00:19:56.460 -Zero! -So you are out of the game. There is absolutely no point in Jim playing any further 417 00:19:56.720 --> 00:20:01.640 -Well, hey, -He could, he could end the game by potting. 418 00:20:01.640 --> 00:20:03.320 -Yes, that's true. 419 00:20:03.740 --> 00:20:06.720 -I mean if he were a jerk, he could do that. But that's just hypothetically. 420 00:20:07.040 --> 00:20:11.100 -Alright. Just stop it from going into the 30's if it gets down there. 421 00:20:11.360 --> 00:20:13.360 -Oh yeah, as soon as it goes in... 422 00:20:15.660 --> 00:20:16.180 -No. 423 00:20:16.580 --> 00:20:21.300 -What do we get if.. -I'm just going to go ahead and miss until one of you guys wins. That's my strategy. 424 00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:24.120 -Well surely you didn't hit your peak two shots ago. 425 00:20:25.600 --> 00:20:30.040 -Thank you. -Sorry, sorry, carry on. -Thank you, thank you Mr. Psychological warfare. 426 00:20:30.040 --> 00:20:34.160 -I'm just putting some comments out there. Trying to be supportive. Just stating facts. 427 00:20:35.640 --> 00:20:36.900 -Come on. Come on. Come on! 428 00:20:36.900 --> 00:20:40.040 YES! [applause] 429 00:20:40.140 --> 00:20:42.760 -Which means, Tom wins with... 430 00:20:43.220 --> 00:20:45.820 -530 points. 431 00:20:46.080 --> 00:20:46.580 -Wow. 432 00:20:46.900 --> 00:20:51.260 -Um, Izzy, sorry. Second place. But that's nothing wrong, 450. 433 00:20:51.640 --> 00:20:55.340 Uh, with 310, Matt is 3rd. 434 00:20:55.340 --> 00:20:57.200 -So I beat Jim? -Yeah, you beat Jim. 435 00:20:57.500 --> 00:21:01.960 -And in last place, with zero, is James Grime. 436 00:21:01.960 --> 00:21:03.340 -What? 437 00:21:04.520 --> 00:21:07.240 -And that...that is how you play bar billiards.