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The order of adjectives is one of those wonderful
linguistic things that no-one really notices

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until it's pointed out to them.

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In English, you can have a "big red balloon",
but not a "red big balloon".

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You can have a "proper purple plastic panda"
but not a "plastic proper purple panda".

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I mean, you can, but it sounds... off.

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It sounds wrong.

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There is a rough rule in English that says
adjectives should be ordered like this.

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There are exceptions, of course -- particularly
important adjectives should be placed next

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to the noun -- but generally this is how it
works.

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General opinions are words like 'good' or
'important', that could apply to anything.

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Then you have specific opinions: words like
'delicious' that can only apply to certain

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categories of words.

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Then size, then shape: it's never a round
large object, it's a large round object.

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Then the age, then the colour, then the location
it came from, then what it's made of.

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You can have a blue British wooden box, not
a wooden blue British box.

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If I say that, it implies that there is a
thing called a "British box".

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That's one of the exceptions, by the way:
if the noun is two words, like 'rocking chair',

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they always go together at the end.

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Now, this is more of a guideline than a rule.

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There's plenty of ways to subvert it.

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And the instinct of many folks is to say "well,
it just means you're putting the important

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bits near the end".

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Except... you aren't.

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Plus, different languages have different orders:
French, for example, puts some -- but not

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all -- after the noun.

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You'd have "un grand ballon rouge".

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Now, I would love to say that I could explain
adjective ordering.

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I wish I could tell you why, in English, you
can have that "big red balloon" but not a

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"red big balloon".

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But I have been searching through the literature,
and while there are plenty of descriptions

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of how it works, there is no consensus -- and,
frankly, very few theories -- about why.

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But if you want to have a bit of fun with
language, try playing about with the order

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when you write.

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Sometimes it'll sound clunky, but who knows?

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You may stumble on something that will live
on in -- and here's something to confuse you

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even further -- something that will live on
in time immemorial.