WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.200
MATT: I'm Matt Parker

2
00:00:01.200 --> 00:00:02.340
TOM: and I'm Tom Scott

3
00:00:02.340 --> 00:00:03.780
and we're here at King's Cross Station

4
00:00:03.780 --> 00:00:07.600
at 5:30, the busiest time for the network.

5
00:00:07.600 --> 00:00:09.620
MATT: And we're not here to go anywhere:

6
00:00:09.620 --> 00:00:13.060
we're here to test some of the biggest lies
on the London Underground.

7
00:00:13.060 --> 00:00:15.500
TOM: We all know that the Tube map distorts
reality.

8
00:00:15.500 --> 00:00:17.850
Usually, that's useful, but not always.

9
00:00:17.850 --> 00:00:20.170
I'm going to take the map's route from Lancaster
Gate to Paddington.

10
00:00:20.170 --> 00:00:22.350
MATT: And I'm just going to walk above ground.

25
00:00:22.350 --> 00:00:23.010
-- Go! -- Do it!

12
00:00:23.010 --> 00:00:24.720
TOM: I have to go down a lift,

13
00:00:24.720 --> 00:00:25.530
wait at a platform,

14
00:00:25.530 --> 00:00:26.550
catch the train two stops,

15
00:00:26.550 --> 00:00:27.010
get off the train,

16
00:00:27.010 --> 00:00:29.020
take a long walk through a station and up
some stairs,

17
00:00:29.020 --> 00:00:30.040
wait at another platform,

18
00:00:30.040 --> 00:00:31.020
catch another train two stops,

19
00:00:31.020 --> 00:00:33.350
and then walk through the bowels of Paddington
Station.

20
00:00:33.350 --> 00:00:35.539
It takes 15 minutes for me to get there.

21
00:00:35.539 --> 00:00:37.399
MATT: As you can see on the above-ground map,

22
00:00:37.399 --> 00:00:39.469
Tom has taken a massive detour,

23
00:00:39.469 --> 00:00:43.039
when in reality the two stations are just
around the corner.

24
00:00:43.039 --> 00:00:22.350
From my perspective...

25
00:00:22.350 --> 00:00:23.010
-- Go! -- Do it!

26
00:00:44.410 --> 00:00:46.109
MATT: I just took a pleasant five-minute walk

27
00:00:46.109 --> 00:00:47.239
through the streets of London.

28
00:00:47.239 --> 00:00:48.820
It didn't cost me anything,

29
00:00:48.820 --> 00:00:51.019
and I even had enough time at Paddington Station

30
00:00:51.019 --> 00:00:53.760
to get a cup of tea and really freak Tom out.

31
00:00:53.760 --> 00:00:56.960
TOM: Oh, for... I genuinely thought I'd won
there.

32
00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:59.569
TOM: There are more subtle lies on the Underground
too.

33
00:00:59.569 --> 00:01:01.559
Bank station gets a flood of commuters

34
00:01:01.559 --> 00:01:02.579
going one way in the morning,

35
00:01:02.579 --> 00:01:04.019
and the other way in the evening.

36
00:01:04.019 --> 00:01:06.600
So the signs change depending on the time
of day.

37
00:01:06.600 --> 00:01:09.350
MATT: According to the BBC series 'The Tube',

38
00:01:09.350 --> 00:01:11.420
at times staff will even route commuters

39
00:01:11.420 --> 00:01:14.040
deliberately around a very long detour.

40
00:01:14.040 --> 00:01:15.360
This will slow them down

41
00:01:15.360 --> 00:01:17.250
and prevent a dangerous crush

42
00:01:17.250 --> 00:01:18.660
without making anyone angry.

43
00:01:18.660 --> 00:01:21.500
TOM: But it doesn't explain King's Cross.

44
00:01:21.500 --> 00:01:24.630
From the Victoria Line, I'll follow the signs
to "Trains".

45
00:01:24.630 --> 00:01:26.720
MATT: And I'll do the smart thing.

46
00:01:26.720 --> 00:01:30.670
I'm going to head straight to the low-key
"Euston Road" exit.

47
00:01:30.670 --> 00:01:32.780
TOM: While Matt uses his insider knowledge,

48
00:01:32.780 --> 00:01:34.440
I have to walk along the crowded platform,

49
00:01:34.440 --> 00:01:35.310
up a set of stairs,

50
00:01:35.310 --> 00:01:36.820
through a series of rather long tunnels

51
00:01:36.820 --> 00:01:38.250
that just keep going,

52
00:01:38.250 --> 00:01:39.490
through the new northern ticket hall,

53
00:01:39.490 --> 00:01:40.680
through King's Cross itself,

54
00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:43.060
before finally meeting Matt after five minutes.

55
00:01:43.060 --> 00:01:46.070
TOM: I have got to start taking the short
route!

56
00:01:46.070 --> 00:01:48.330
MATT: Why did I get there first?

57
00:01:48.330 --> 00:01:49.460
Because all I had to do was

58
00:01:49.460 --> 00:01:50.690
go up an escalator,

59
00:01:50.690 --> 00:01:52.220
pop outside for a minute,

60
00:01:52.220 --> 00:01:53.310
and there I am.

61
00:01:53.310 --> 00:01:55.870
At the mainline entrance in about half the
time.

62
00:01:55.870 --> 00:01:57.250
It may not seem like much,

63
00:01:57.250 --> 00:01:58.840
but when you're running for a train,

64
00:01:58.840 --> 00:02:01.090
that little bit of time can make all the difference.

65
00:02:01.090 --> 00:02:04.160
The trouble is, if everyone went the same
way I did,

66
00:02:04.160 --> 00:02:06.450
there'd be a huge crush. There's not enough
room.

67
00:02:06.450 --> 00:02:07.650
It would be slower for everyone.

68
00:02:07.650 --> 00:02:10.409
TOM: The tube's signage is a masterpiece of
design.

69
00:02:10.409 --> 00:02:13.329
The occasional lie makes it quicker overall.

70
00:02:13.329 --> 00:02:14.370
As a wise man once said,

71
00:02:14.370 --> 00:02:17.409
the needs of the many outweigh the needs
of the few.

72
00:02:17.409 --> 00:02:19.340
That's why the London Underground lies to
you.

73
00:02:20.860 --> 00:02:22.860
[Translating these subtitles? Add your name here!]

