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Kind: captions
Language: en

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You join us here at the Northern Nocturnal
Cracker Consumption Championships.

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It's a windy night here in York.

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These two competitors have only one minute
to eat three brand name cream crackers.

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Sounds easy, really isn't, as they're currently
finding out.

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The tale of the tape shows Matt with a slight
advantage in both height and bounciness.

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But Gary, built for leisure, not for speed,
might still come from behind.

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But it's not looking good for these two competitors,
only 15 seconds in and already a fit of the

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giggles as the crackers suck any saliva out
of their mouth in much the same way as Simon

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Cowell sucks originality out of music.

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They'll find eating increasingly difficult,
let alone actually managing to choke the crackers

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down their throats.

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Groans of pain there from Gary.

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Spectators clearly not impressed but then
both men have had a couple of drinks beforehand

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and don't exactly look like the most sane
of people.

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Half-way through already and neither man has
managed to eat even one cracker.

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Matt too busy trying to keep the laughter
in, let alone the hydrophilic hardtack.

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Crumbs spraying everywhere, that won't help
the final scoring at all.

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Desperate coughing starts now.

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Matt attempting to eat the crackers one at
a time while Gary just continues stuffing

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dry wheat into his gob.

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The final seconds approach and OH MY WORD
let's see that in slow motion.

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A coughing cracker expulsion from Gary and
oh, that's poor sportsmanship as he does begin

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throwing spare crackers at Matt.

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It doesn't matter at this stage, it's all
over with one cracker each consumed.

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Both men stunned by the difficulty of the
challenge.

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Let's re-run the fun.

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[CHEERING, MUSIC FROM FUN HOUSE]
It's a tie, one cracker each, the rest in

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crumbs - oh, and a backhanded fakeout crackerdump
from Matt there, what a way to end the show.

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Until next time, I've been Tom Scott, this
has been the Northern Nocturnal Cracker Consumption

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Championships.