WEBVTT
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Language: en

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(NEWSREADER) 'A huge day in prospect at Westminster...'

2
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(POLITICIAN) '...I don't think anybody saw this coming'

3
00:00:04.660 --> 00:00:06.000
(NEWSREADER) '...about the scale of how bad

4
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:09.590
'these growth figures...'

5
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It's budget day in London, April 22nd,

6
00:00:11.580 --> 00:00:13.300
and today I have one mission:

7
00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:14.830
which is to get in the background

8
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of as many news camera shots as possible.

9
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There are film crews swarming across the capital.

10
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I've got an Oyster card, a London A to Z...

11
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There is just one problem.

185
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(LAUGHS)

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I, however, don't need an Oyster card

14
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because I've got this:

15
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the Mattmobile.

16
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It's ten o'clock, game's started,

17
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we're kind of stuck in traffic...

18
00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:37.080
'Two hundred miles away,

19
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'a crack team of researchers were watching TV

20
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'and telling us where the cameras were.'

21
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How you guys doing up there?

22
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We're all right!

23
00:00:43.670 --> 00:00:45.110
Okay, I can barely hear you,

24
00:00:45.110 --> 00:00:46.320
where do I need to go?

25
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Head across to Westminster.

26
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Right, Westminster.

27
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They've got a camera crew there,

28
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and they're just catching MPs...

29
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They're catching MPs. Parliament Green!

30
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Okay, thanks Toni, bye bye. Thank you!

228
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Let's go.

32
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Tom'll be heading into the city now

33
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on the Underground, probably gaining on us.

34
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But we heard from the command centre earlier

35
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that one of the tube lines is closed.

36
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'Because of industrial action, there is no service

37
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'in either direction on the Victoria Line.'

38
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Fantastic! The Victoria line's on strike.

39
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How can one tube line go on strike?

40
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(MUSIC: This Morning theme)

41
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The windows look like grey panes on the outside, don't they?

42
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'I had a plan. And it involved

43
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'getting my face behind Philip Schofield.'

44
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Yeah. There's a lamp post near a circle-y bit, isn't there?

45
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If I climb that then I should be able to get on it.

46
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(TUBE DOORS CLOSE)

47
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Somewhere round here is that bit of green

48
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that they always interview the politicians on.

49
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Meanwhile, Matt Gray...

50
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Matt Gray is stuck somewhere in traffic,

51
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somewhere in London.

52
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The magic of London is its road system, which is

53
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built on the Middle Ages(!)

54
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It's actually just a statue

55
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with serieses of traffic lights dotted everywhere

56
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and you just have to guess!

57
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I'm kind of wishing I had my Oyster card now.

58
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'The next station is Westminster.'

59
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'Hello. Are you OK?'

60
00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:15.620
Er, yeah, we are heading towards Blackfriars Bridge

61
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There were a couple of roads closed that we needed, so...

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Right. It might be worth leaving that

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and trying to find somewhere to park

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and heading to Downing Street.

65
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'The command centre were right.

66
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'As I parked, Tom was already at Westminster,

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'although running with a backpack in a tube station

68
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'wasn't the smartest thing he's ever done.

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'I had some ground to make up.'

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(MUSIC: BBC News theme)

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Hello, a very good morning to you.

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We will of course have all the latest on the Budget...

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'It was a straight race -

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'but I had a mile head start.

75
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'And I didn't run like a girl.'

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Right there.

77
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Right there!

78
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That's them. That's definitely them.

79
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They're live at Westminster on both channels right now.

80
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OK! Right, can you see the policeman and the street?

81
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I'm basically behind the BBC setup right now.

82
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You're behind the BBC one? Stay there because

83
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they will be going back to that after VT.

84
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- Here? - They're back on another guy, you need...

85
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You're in shot!

86
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You're in shot now!

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Wave!

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(MUSIC: Praan by Garry Schyman)

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There you go!

90
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How was that?

91
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Yes! 20 points!

92
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For about a second...

93
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Okay, let's get to Sky News, let's go!

94
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'First blood went to me.

95
00:03:31.270 --> 00:03:33.460
'I called Matt. Mostly just to gloat.'

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Hello Tom!

97
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Twenty points!

98
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Twenty? Ah, no...

99
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I was on camera dancing behind BBC news,

100
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so that's 20 points.

101
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Right, I'm going to have to go,

102
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I'm too far away now. I'll see you later.

103
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See you. Bye bye!

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(MOUTHS) Yes.

105
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'I got there soon after. But not before Tom

106
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'had spent ten minutes failing to work out

107
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'where Sky's cameras were pointing.

108
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I couldn't get it. They're getting wise to this.

109
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They've moved their cameras

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so they're angling up at people,

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behind Parliament, missing the street.

112
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We're going to have to be very crafty for this one.

113
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Nice glasses.

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Cheers.

115
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We're going to investigate Downing Street.

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I'll see you in a bit.

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OK, cool.

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See you.

119
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'The BBC had a camera pointed at the Chancellor's door.

120
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'Sooner or later he'd have to come out

121
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'and that meant driving out of Downing Street.'

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I'm not allowed down there.

123
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The press are - there's lots of press cameras

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outside Number 10 and 11

125
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and the occasional, um, Cleaning Solutions van.

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I'm assuming that it's actually Cleaning Solutions

127
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and not some secret government agency.

128
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And now we play the waiting game.

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From here in Liverpool, Huw, back to you.

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Declan Curry there in Liverpool.

131
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Now throughout the program, we want to hear from you...

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'I don't think they wanted to hear from us.'

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Our political editor Adam Boulton

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is with some of them in Westminster. Adam.

135
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Yeah, Dermot, you can follow me on Twitter and all,

136
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I don't know how it works

137
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but you can apparently. Anyway.

138
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'Right, we can just see the railings

139
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'at the very bottom of the shot

140
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'and the police, on their side of the road

141
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You want to be between the bald guy

142
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and the guy with brown hair.

143
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Er - but that's, no, that shot's moved again

144
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This is bloody Sky, they cannot hold a shot

145
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in the same place.

146
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Look, I Twitter too Adam,

147
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I've got to go back and Twitter

148
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Prime Minister's Questions -

149
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we're up to date!

150
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We'll get to see you, but you probably

151
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can't do anything stupid.

152
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Literally, you get four seconds.

153
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'What Tom couldn't do with ten minutes of effort

154
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'I did with two minutes and sheer luck.

155
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'Pity I didn't realise it.

156
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'And while Tom waited,

157
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'I got the BBC as well.'

158
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...to tell us what they're expecting. Jon.

159
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Yeah, Huw, a joyous occasion

160
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not to be freezing on College Green for once(!)

161
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Ooh. Hello.

162
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Another call from the command centre. Hello?

163
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Right, they're live!

164
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You've got absolutely loads of places

165
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that you can go here. Er --

166
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Here's a reminder of the momentous

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economic background to today's budget statement.

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They've just gone to VT. Try and find

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a point where you can see the camera

170
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and - erm - you should be in shot

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at some point.

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Yeah. Hang up on me now and save battery

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for the both of us.

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We're joined now, here, outside Westminster...

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There he is!

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There - oh - he's on. Yes...

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Do something stupid, Matt! I've just hung up!

178
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Do something stupid, you idiot(!)

179
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Oh...

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There! Right! Now!

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♪ It's fun to stay at the

182
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♪ YMCA

183
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♪ YMCA... ♪

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There you go!

185
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(LAUGHS)

186
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Well done Matt, that's 20 points.

187
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Hello Matt!

188
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Hello Tom!

189
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So how are things for you at the moment?

190
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Got any more points(?)

191
00:06:48.200 --> 00:06:49.410
No, there's nothing going on.

192
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We thought there was a guy with a ladder

193
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who was gonna take some video,

194
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not happening.

195
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You are on 20 points.

196
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I am currently on confirmed 30 points.

197
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Oh, no!

198
00:06:59.440 --> 00:07:01.950
On a BBC interview with Iain Duncan Smith,

199
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I did the YMCA.

200
00:07:04.080 --> 00:07:06.780
Okay. See you, Matt...

201
00:07:06.780 --> 00:07:08.030
See you later, Tom. Good luck.

202
00:07:08.030 --> 00:07:12.540
Good luck. Bye bye.

203
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I'm winning.

204
00:07:15.370 --> 00:07:17.180
'And then, to make things worse,

205
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'the Chancellor took a diversion.'

206
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(REPORTER) Just for those people who are puzzled

207
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by the geography of what we're looking at,

208
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he hasn't gone on to Whitehall,

209
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he's driven through the archway

210
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of the Foreign Office.

211
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They're going to most curious route.

212
00:07:28.840 --> 00:07:30.690
They're going down to the Embankment,

213
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I would hazard a guess.

214
00:07:32.270 --> 00:07:35.250
Well - er - anyway, we're going through the back way...

215
00:07:35.250 --> 00:07:36.410
'With no more points,

216
00:07:36.410 --> 00:07:37.480
'I headed back to Parliament

217
00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:38.450
'and met up with Matt.'

218
00:07:38.450 --> 00:07:40.400
You could still get 10 more points

219
00:07:40.400 --> 00:07:42.300
by doing something stupid behind Sky News.

220
00:07:42.300 --> 00:07:43.050
Yes.

221
00:07:43.050 --> 00:07:44.670
And I could still get 20 more points

222
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by doing that, which would

223
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put us on a tie.

224
00:07:46.760 --> 00:07:47.880
I think we're probably standing

225
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in the wrong place.

226
00:07:49.180 --> 00:07:51.270
Yes. Our best bet, probably,

227
00:07:51.270 --> 00:00:58.630
is to go back that way, isn't it?

228
00:00:58.630 --> 00:01:00.110
Let's go.

229
00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:56.280
'Then the Chancellor started delivering the budget

230
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'and the news cameras outside took a break

231
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'so we did the only thing we could:

232
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'watched it.'

233
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(REPORTER) The Chancellor predicts

234
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that the economy is going to shrink by

235
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three and a half percent this year,

236
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far worse than previous predictions.

237
00:08:08.820 --> 00:08:11.890
(CHANCELLOR) 'Targeted help to find a new job

238
00:08:11.890 --> 00:08:14.490
'as quickly as possible...'

239
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Ow!

240
00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:17.320
(TOM) 'Matt's balls gave me an idea.'

241
00:08:17.320 --> 00:08:18.810
Let me borrow the balls, please.

242
00:08:18.810 --> 00:08:19.740
What are you going to do?

243
00:08:19.740 --> 00:08:20.760
Are you going to juggle them

244
00:08:20.760 --> 00:08:21.500
in the background of the shot?

245
00:08:21.500 --> 00:08:23.680
I want to do that!

246
00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:25.960
Er, although politically I think it was interesting

247
00:08:25.960 --> 00:08:28.510
how David Cameron, as I predicted...

248
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Not fair! Not fair!

249
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'It was a valiant effort

250
00:08:32.550 --> 00:08:34.270
'but the Sky News security team

251
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'shut us down very quickly indeed.'

252
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The trouble is, Sky News,

253
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they're angling way too high.

254
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Way too high up.

255
00:08:42.910 --> 00:08:44.580
We'd have to climb up...

256
00:08:44.580 --> 00:08:46.110
'Then I realised the solution

257
00:08:46.110 --> 00:08:49.270
'had been right in front of me.'

258
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'Abingdon Street.'

259
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I've had the Plan B of getting

260
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in the background of the London local news

261
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later on this evening,

262
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er, hopefully the command centre

263
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will be able to find me

264
00:08:59.860 --> 00:09:02.410
a story that's happening in London.

265
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'They could.'

266
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The first Tube strike under Mayor Boris Johnson...

267
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'It was awesome.

268
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'And it was in the one place that Tom,

269
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'even with his Oyster card,

270
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'couldn't get to.

271
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'The Victoria Line.'

272
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To the Mattmobile!

273
00:09:16.300 --> 00:09:18.160
There is no-one on there...

274
00:09:18.160 --> 00:09:19.220
'And while Matt drove,

275
00:09:19.220 --> 00:09:20.800
'I did the only thing I could.

276
00:09:20.800 --> 00:09:22.150
'Keep going round,

277
00:09:22.150 --> 00:09:23.640
'and round...

278
00:09:23.640 --> 00:09:25.630
'and round.'

279
00:09:25.630 --> 00:09:28.000
'The traffic was terrible, even for London.

280
00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:29.490
'Especially for London.

281
00:09:29.490 --> 00:09:30.700
'Then Tom got a bit of news

282
00:09:30.700 --> 00:09:31.810
'from the command centre.'

283
00:09:31.810 --> 00:09:32.920
Inside Parliament?

284
00:09:32.920 --> 00:09:34.220
The BBC are now - hang on -

285
00:09:34.220 --> 00:09:35.530
let's get this bus!

286
00:09:35.530 --> 00:09:36.730
'The BBC had set up a camera

287
00:09:36.730 --> 00:09:37.990
'in the Central Lobby of Parliament

288
00:09:37.990 --> 00:09:40.450
'which, technically, is open to the public.'

289
00:09:40.450 --> 00:09:42.030
Right, so it's going to be just me,

290
00:09:42.030 --> 00:09:45.000
going in, and using that... okay. Okay.

291
00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:46.160
I can try that.

292
00:09:46.160 --> 00:09:48.060
'So I had a decision to make.

293
00:09:48.060 --> 00:09:50.060
'Stay with the bus, which might never work,

294
00:09:50.060 --> 00:09:51.360
'or try the Central Lobby,

295
00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:53.270
'which I might never get in to?

296
00:09:53.270 --> 00:09:55.630
'But as luck would have it,

297
00:09:55.630 --> 00:09:57.630
'I didn't have to make that choice.'

298
00:09:57.630 --> 00:09:59.210
Here we go, in fact - right now.

299
00:09:59.210 --> 00:10:00.650
I'm right now passing.

300
00:10:00.650 --> 00:10:03.340
Sky News. Get -- oh, this might work!

301
00:10:03.340 --> 00:10:04.360
This might work!

302
00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:05.250
Okay, here we go,

303
00:10:05.250 --> 00:10:06.410
bus is going past...

304
00:10:06.410 --> 00:10:08.590
er... left, right to left?

305
00:10:08.590 --> 00:10:10.680
For a long period, er...

306
00:10:10.680 --> 00:10:13.610
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

307
00:10:13.610 --> 00:10:14.810
...to the left of Labour, er, of

308
00:10:14.810 --> 00:10:16.760
New Labour in power, er...

309
00:10:16.760 --> 00:10:20.710
'And to make it even better,

310
00:10:20.710 --> 00:10:23.450
'the BBC were live too.'

311
00:10:23.450 --> 00:10:28.140
(MUSIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH)

312
00:10:28.140 --> 00:10:30.650
That had to have worked.

313
00:10:30.650 --> 00:10:32.090
Yes!

314
00:10:32.090 --> 00:10:35.250
(MOUTHS)

315
00:10:35.250 --> 00:10:36.500
'Time went on,

316
00:10:36.500 --> 00:10:38.500
'and our deadline approached.

317
00:10:38.500 --> 00:10:41.240
'Matt had been stuck in traffic jams

318
00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:43.330
'for hours.

319
00:10:43.330 --> 00:10:45.090
'I was waiting in a sweltering,

320
00:10:45.090 --> 00:10:47.090
'sun-scorched queue.

321
00:10:47.090 --> 00:10:49.690
'A reporter missed his entrance.

322
00:10:49.690 --> 00:10:52.800
'BBC cameras were headed to the Victoria line

323
00:10:52.800 --> 00:10:54.430
'as the command centre

324
00:10:54.430 --> 00:10:57.720
'desperately tried to plot Matt a route.

325
00:10:57.720 --> 00:11:00.930
'Could either of us score some final points?'

326
00:11:00.930 --> 00:11:02.830
...in early 2011, they weren't...

327
00:11:02.830 --> 00:11:05.800
'Yes, I could.

328
00:11:05.800 --> 00:11:07.800
'What you can't see is the three policeman

329
00:11:07.800 --> 00:11:09.570
'and two security guards ready to arrest me

330
00:11:09.570 --> 00:11:11.330
'if I step out of line,

331
00:11:11.330 --> 00:11:12.630
'so while all I could manage

332
00:11:12.630 --> 00:11:14.490
'was a sharp salute to camera,

333
00:11:14.490 --> 00:11:17.180
'it still counted.'

334
00:11:17.180 --> 00:11:20.990
(BIG BEN CHIMES)

335
00:11:20.990 --> 00:11:22.620
'And that was time.

336
00:11:22.620 --> 00:11:24.290
'We met up, finally,

337
00:11:24.290 --> 00:11:26.330
'in a car park on the South Bank.'

338
00:11:26.330 --> 00:11:27.770
Long day.

339
00:11:27.770 --> 00:11:28.980
It's been a very long day.

340
00:11:28.980 --> 00:11:29.950
Well done, Matt.

341
00:11:29.950 --> 00:11:31.630
You've won, haven't you?

342
00:11:31.630 --> 00:11:34.970
I've won. Sorry, Matt.

343
00:11:34.970 --> 00:11:39.060
Yet more proof you can't drive round London.

344
00:11:39.060 --> 00:11:39.800
Yeah.

345
00:11:39.800 --> 00:11:41.800
(THEY LAUGH)

346
00:11:41.800 --> 00:11:42.860
Let's go to the pub.

347
00:11:43.980 --> 00:11:47.140
(ENDING MUSIC)

348
00:11:47.140 --> 00:11:48.606
Subtitles by Tom Scott